Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This ins't because of ED. If she applied RD she'd feel the same way.

No, it's ED. Kids at our HS are seeing kids get into some of the schools and they are rejected or deferred (where they will probably be rejected). But now they have to wait for the second round of considerations if deferred. And then you're stuck full pay or whatever meager package they give. So ED def benefits those with money.

I say this as someone whose kid is already in college and did so via ED.

Anonymous wrote:So my DD applied to her dream school. For the past couple of years we've been downplaying this school and hyping up some more reasonable schools. We even toured a few and she claimed how much she liked them. She assured us that she would be fine if she didn't win the ED lottery. Anytime I would mention another school she would quickly shut me down and tell me she has her list and she is good with it.
Part of me always thought she was blowing smoke to get us to back off and i was right.
ED school is announcing today and just got a call from her counselor that she is having a melt down at school triggered by a friend of hers who told her that this school will never accept someone from our high school. Our HS does not have the greatest reputation and although there have been a small handful of kids getting into top 10/Ivy - level schools - its few and far between.
So this comment was the straw that broke her back. The counselor told me that Dd unloaded on her and how hard she has worked (very true) to get straight As and take many AP classes (very true). Our school doesnt rank but she would definitely be top 5. The time she put into her ECs and building relationships with her teachers..... She kept telling me that she was doing all of this because she liked doing this but it turns out, it was because she wants this school this bad.
i am furious at the ED system for the torture this process causes for so many families. I thought it was terrible they announced hen results will come out so everyone can be on pins and needles for days. And why do schools announce before the holidays....similar to how companies announce layoffs before holidays...to ruin them?
And now, with this phone call, I am upset and having trouble focusing on my job.
Yes - I am going off here and mostly because I am her mom and believed her when she said she wouldn't care about not getting into this school. I should have known better.
Counselor said she calmed down and will be staying at school, but I am at a loss as to how to handle this situation when we all get home this afternoon and when we get the decision. This really really sucks.

Anonymous wrote:Op, your unwillingness to recognize your dd’s overreaction here, and attempts to paint her a victim are a big part of her inability to regulate her emotions.

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry your daughter and you got bad news. It sucks.

Anonymous wrote:This ins't because of ED. If she applied RD she'd feel the same way.

Anonymous wrote:I agree that this is an ED issue. Yes, she would be very bummed RD, but she'd have other schools sending news simultaneously. She'd be able to pivot much more quickly. ED rejections make kids wallow in the disappointment for months.

Anonymous wrote:This has zero to do with ED, your kid would not be reacting any different with an RD decision to this college. It sounds like she has anxiety and would benefit from some therapy to address that.

Anonymous wrote:OP- I'm sorry this is happening. These kids have worked so hard and it's nerve wracking. College is a huge decision and it can provoke a lot of anxiety. It sounds like your DD is a high achiever.
My DS is fixated on a school (EA) right now too- it's a bit of longshot and I'm concerned that he'll be upset and a little bitter if he doesn't get in. He's worked very hard. We gave all the right messages, cast a wide net, did the right things, but it's human to want something.
Let us know how it works out.