Anonymous wrote:My MIL consistently and persistently says things such as the following:

Noticing the kids have a pimple: “I never had a pimple in my life.”

When babies fuss: “My boys never fussed. They were perfect.”

About herself: “I’ve always had an incredibly flat stomach.”

Daughter is moody: “I’m always in a good mood. My sons were never moody.”

When people have freckles or any kind of blemish: “I’ve never had such a thing. They’re just awful.”

“My guys never had sugar. I made everything from scratch.”

I cannot. I cannot stand her. I have to just mmmmmm, don’t I. There’s nothing else to be said. It’s just so. Hard.

Laugh out loud and then look away.

I'd be very tempted to go Dana Carvey / Church Lady on her, and just say "Well isn't that special!" and move on with conversation to others. 😄

Anonymous wrote:My MIL consistently and persistently says things such as the following:

Noticing the kids have a pimple: “I never had a pimple in my life.”

When babies fuss: “My boys never fussed. They were perfect.”

About herself: “I’ve always had an incredibly flat stomach.”

Daughter is moody: “I’m always in a good mood. My sons were never moody.”

When people have freckles or any kind of blemish: “I’ve never had such a thing. They’re just awful.”

“My guys never had sugar. I made everything from scratch.”

I cannot. I cannot stand her. I have to just mmmmmm, don’t I. There’s nothing else to be said. It’s just so. Hard.

Anonymous wrote:Advice to my younger self: go grey rock. Offer no new information, do not engage in breezy conversations because any details you give will be fodder for gossip and criticism. She will not change. You’ll come across as a boring automaton and that’s the goal.

My MIL launched some real zingers that I dismissed initially as her lack of filter - but it’s more than that - it’s seething anger, resentment, jealously, mental health issues, one sided competition and bitterness.

I’ve known mil for 30 years. Not once has she been encouraging or uplifting. Not in her nature. Even compliments are back handed and sarcastic.

I learned this too late.

Op, I started calling my MIL on her crap in the last couple of years she was around. It shut her down once in a while, but not often enough.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Anonymous wrote:She has feelings of inadequacy and is trying to make herself feel better by putting others down. Very common.

+1

Sad that she’s so insecure. I’m sorry her suffering causes you suffering.

I have been married 20 years and together 23. Overall I have a pretty good relationship with my inlaws.

A few months ago, I picked up our dog they were watching at their house for us when we were out of town. My husband usually goes to get the dog (to see them) but he was swamped at work and grumpy because he had to work on vacation so I went. When they expressed surprise that I was picking up the dog instead of him, I told them the reason why (because we are all adults). I wasn't complaining, just being honest.

MIL, aghast, exclaims, "Really??? I don't think I have EVER seen Tom in a bad mood!"

WTF. Yes, he's a fairly chill guy, but you think in 43 years he's never been in a bad mood? My FIL just looked at me and rolled his eyes as if to say "I know. I have to live with her."