Anonymous wrote:I went to most of ours. It was nice to spend some time together and I liked hearing what was happening. It wouldn't have been a big deal to miss them, but I don't have trouble taking off and I've got tons of sick leave so it always was really easy to go to them.

This for us too. For both kids. He likes being involved.

It can help father feel more involved in the process so when easy, take them, when difficult to make it, don't fuss over it.

I guess if both can and want to then its sweet even if unnecessary.

I personally saw no reason in my DH taking time off and drive hours both way for every checkup.

May be wife can't drive, can't speak English, has anxiety, gets instructions confused.

You can't spell prenatal without p a t e r n a l

My husband came to every appointment. The baby is both of ours and he was very excited. I think it's nice.

I consider myself a person who is very comfortable solo, but my pregnancy was during Covid and spouses were not allowed. Also not allowed to FaceTime. For the early ultrasounds, he waited at home but was ready to come get me if it turned out we had a loss and I was too upset to drive. For the anatomy scan, I asked him to be in the parking lot, which he did. It’s okay to want support.

I'd say mostly fear. Wanting to be there if the routine appointment turns out to be not so routine.

During my first pregnancy, my DH went with me to the first four or five ultrasounds (I had a bunch in the first trimester due to a SCH). After the anatomy scan at 19 weeks, he didn't go to any other appointments. When I was 30 weeks, and everything seemed fine with the pregnancy, he had to travel out of the country. It was less than an hour after his plane took off that I began hemorrhaging due to a placental aburption, and our baby was born still. Because DH was in the air, he didn't even know until over 12 hours later, after I got out of surgery and was able to get in contact.

After the trauma of losing our first child, DH and I wanted to be together at every subsequent prenatal appointment in case something happened again. I had two live births and a miscarriage in the eight years after our first child died, and DH was at every appointment, even just the blood draws.

Trauma makes you change the way you do things.

I honestly find it bizarre that OP finds this strange.

Anonymous wrote:Most of the time they are so quick and not much happens. Is it so they can hear the babies heartbeat? In case something bad happens I.e. babies heartbeat isn’t heard? Some appointments seem more important I.e. pregnancy confirmation, ultrasounds and some appointments toward the end as by then it gets hard for some women to drive. My husband would have a hard time taking off for every appointment. He keeps asking if he should come but for me it doesn’t seem needed. Sometimes my appointments are 5-10 mins.

Some couples see it as bonding with each other and the baby. Others use it as an opportunity to ask questions.

My husband has a flexible hours WFH job and we are fortunate that my doctors appointments are all very close to both my work and home It’s our first and I am in my mid-30s with some typical worry about miscarriage and genetic abnormalities. It’s not essential that he comes to every appointment but when he is able to it’s a nice thing to do and he is often able to support me. Nothing more complicated than that.

Anonymous wrote:The women I know who insisted on that are the same ones who insist on spending the whole weekend together as a family. They will never just bring the kids over for a few hours so they can play while we chat and the DHs can get a break (and give us a break in turn). They have to bring their dullard DH along to bore my DH.

You're just a dull, unimaginative, self engrossed person yourself. Probably tacky as hell too

During my last pregnancy, my husband came to most appointments because it calmed my nerves after having experienced multiple losses.

Anonymous wrote:The women I know who insisted on that are the same ones who insist on spending the whole weekend together as a family. They will never just bring the kids over for a few hours so they can play while we chat and the DHs can get a break (and give us a break in turn). They have to bring their dullard DH along to bore my DH.

I dont insist but my DH does. He's always really excited to see pics of the baby on the ultrasound, to ask the doctor questions, to make sure everything is fine. He also reminds me to take my prenatals every day. It's his own choice and I think it's sweet that he wants to be so involved with the baby