Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:32     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:I bet some people here who say the AP deserves whatever the AP gets, and who say that staying with a cheater is always the wrong decision, have no idea that their own spouses or parents cheated.


Ok, so you want to make up facts in order to justify your own decision to stay with your sad excuse for a spouse or to justify your own affair? Got it.

Some of us have some self respect and wouldn't stay married to someone who cheated on us. If you want to do it to maintain what others think is a pristine imagine, go ahead. The rest of us will act like we're worth being treated well.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:29     Subject: Revealing affair

I bet some people here who say the AP deserves whatever the AP gets, and who say that staying with a cheater is always the wrong decision, have no idea that their own spouses or parents cheated.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:29     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated


Hold on. It’s the fault of the cheaters, who didn’t give a second thought to the stability and welfare of their children or spouses. Let’s not blame the victim here. The marriages were broken the moment those people decided to cheat.


Wrong. Sex is not the end all be all of marriage. Most marriages survive infidelity. When they don’t, a bad divorce ensues affecting kids. Don’t be the person who contributes to that probable outcome—worse than the original offense between adults/


Says the person who is still married to the person who cheated on them.

It is NEVER a good idea to remain married to a person that steps outside of their marriage.
Period.

I would not want to continue sharing my bed w/a spouse who would lie + betray me in such a nefarious manner.
And if we had kids in the home….

What kind of example would I be setting up for them?
To remain married to someone who is deceitful, has low integrity & is comfortable enough to take off their clothes w/another person??!

No one deserves to endure all the emotional strain that an infidelity can present in a marital relationship. 😥


Seriously. Tell us you're a doormat without telling us you're a doormat. Presumably that PP was some sort of SAHM or otherwise dependent woman who has set herself up so that she can't leave her cheating spouse so she is rationalizing staying to make herself feel better. I'd be ashamed if my daughters ever found themselves in that position. Have some self respect.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:27     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hope the posters calling AP a whore aren’t staying with their disgusting husbands.

OP doesn’t sound concerned, she just wanted revenge on the AP. Great, now both AP and her DH are free to be in a legit relationship.


Two cheating whores deserve one another. Scumbags.


The better way to see this: two suffering people, dying emotionally in their marriages to disappointing partners. They see each other across a crowded room and fall in love, liberating each other from unhappiness.

Sometimes the moral choice is to explore the feelings, to have the affair. When the spouse underachieves so much and weighs you down, they have silently given you permission to look around for a better option.

When you find that better option, the moral thing to do is to jump so that your kids can finally see what a loving marriage between two sane, not crazy, successful people looks like.


They type in a disgusting profile with a pathetic username on an affair website looking for sex because they are decrepit and ugly and messed up.

Your Pollyanna Notebook Bridges of Madison County bullsh@t is fantasy. The guy will say whatever he can to get sex for free and then ghost you and go no contact when you start pushing for more.



Nope. Moral equivalence, from the first PP I quoted. Woman here, late 50s single six years. I’m divorced for a reason. I don’t explore looks or your escapist fantasies with married men. Just zero interest in some cheating POS. I liberated myself from my own situation- via divorce. Now I can do what I want.

If two married people escape the reality of their lives and children and the actual work that all takes- claiming it as a moral choice, I’d do a hard stop. It’s a great way to focus your attention on another instead of looking within and recognizing that your marriage- which you’re still in- failed. There’s no sense of the heartache you leave in your wrath, because your spouses may have been unhappy- but surely weren’t prepared to meet an affair partner, new wife, and “liberator” who claims some sort of high ground while the shards of their kids vision of home and security falls by the wayside.

-divorced parent


I've read this six times and still can't figure out what the F you're saying.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:25     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I hope the posters calling AP a whore aren’t staying with their disgusting husbands.

OP doesn’t sound concerned, she just wanted revenge on the AP. Great, now both AP and her DH are free to be in a legit relationship.


Two cheating whores deserve one another. Scumbags.


The better way to see this: two suffering people, dying emotionally in their marriages to disappointing partners. They see each other across a crowded room and fall in love, liberating each other from unhappiness.

Sometimes the moral choice is to explore the feelings, to have the affair. When the spouse underachieves so much and weighs you down, they have silently given you permission to look around for a better option.

When you find that better option, the moral thing to do is to jump so that your kids can finally see what a loving marriage between two sane, not crazy, successful people looks like.


Stop trying to make cheating ok. I've never been on either side of it but I definitely think less of people who cheat. Keep your legs crossed, it's not that hard. If you're that unhappy, fix your life or get a divorce. Cheating is for cowards and weak people.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:22     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated


Hold on. It’s the fault of the cheaters, who didn’t give a second thought to the stability and welfare of their children or spouses. Let’s not blame the victim here. The marriages were broken the moment those people decided to cheat.


Wrong. Sex is not the end all be all of marriage. Most marriages survive infidelity. When they don’t, a bad divorce ensues affecting kids. Don’t be the person who contributes to that probable outcome—worse than the original offense between adults/


Says the person who is still married to the person who cheated on them.

It is NEVER a good idea to remain married to a person that steps outside of their marriage.
Period.

I would not want to continue sharing my bed w/a spouse who would lie + betray me in such a nefarious manner.
And if we had kids in the home….

What kind of example would I be setting up for them?
To remain married to someone who is deceitful, has low integrity & is comfortable enough to take off their clothes w/another person??!

No one deserves to endure all the emotional strain that an infidelity can present in a marital relationship. 😥


I agree. I would get myself and my finances in a solid position first. Either way, I would be done with that spouse. There are many who never cheat and work out their issues. Without trust the marriage isn't going to recover.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:21     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated


OP didn't do anything - the parent who cheated did. This isn't on OP at all. I've never cheated or been cheated on (to my knowledge) but I understand where OP is coming from. Also, that spouse deserved to know what their spouse was doing. Just because you'd want to stick your head in the sand and pretend like your family is perfect doesn't mean everyone would do the same. You just sound pathetic, honestly. Enjoy your fake life.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:18     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:Maybe a murder will eventually come out of it!!

Actions have unpredictable consequences.


Still the cheating that would cause the consequence not the OP.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:17     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated


The folks that cheated caused the trauma, not OP.

Tell that to the children.


Yes the cheaters should tell their kids they caused the trauma, obviously.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:15     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated

Triggered AP alert!


Not an AP. never cheated. I am divorced. I have a “good divorce” but when something like this happens, it causes bad divorces that might otherwise happen. That directly puts kids at risk. Just sex between adults does not do that. Acting like the morality police does involve kids. Bad divorces hurt kids. Cheating alone hurts adults. See the difference? Most affairs, according to research, never get discovered. Bringing that to light when it is not your own marriage is flat out selfish and wrong. I even heard Dr Phil agree about this.


JFC
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 08:13     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Congratulations on possibly destroying children’s lives with a bitter divorce that might not have otherwise happened if you didn’t feel the need to insert yourself into other’s lives.

This is worse than cheating. You are directly possibly causing trauma for kids that may not have happened otherwise. Marriage is about much more than sex.

People should mind their own business.

-never cheated




I think the cheater is the one who inserted herself into OP’s life by allowing the “d insertion”. There would be no divorce if the AP wasn’t a whore screwing other men behind her husband’s back in the first place. And, why is her family off limits ? Two played the game.


While crude this is 100% accurate. Why do we blame the ones that catch the wrong doers? OP you did the right thing. Your spouse and AP destroyed their marriages and family. I'm glad you held them accountable, not burying your head in the sand. You will never be able to trust your husband, regardless of what others tell you. I would seek out a lawyer and start getting your own separate account etc to start setting yourself up. What other secrets could your spouse have been hiding?
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 07:48     Subject: Revealing affair

Share the account.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 06:36     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:Everything about this thread is unattractive. Rotten people on all sides. Selfish, vengeful, nasty, ungraceful and ugly. Yuck.


Most people choose to end up in Hell. That’s what Jesus said.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 05:52     Subject: Re:Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did the same.

I don’t GAF what happens to their family just like they don’t care what happened to my family.

They created this problem, not me.

A-holes don’t like to take responsibility for their actions. FAFO


+1000000


Clearly you do care because if you didn’t you would never contact the other spouse.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2024 02:58     Subject: Revealing affair

Anonymous wrote:Maybe a murder will eventually come out of it!!

Actions have unpredictable consequences.


Boo who