Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been dating two months but I’ve known her years. Things have gotten fairly serious I would say although we’re officially together (yet). We were exclusive though. She’s met my family, we’ve talked about the future, planned a trip with her for next month, and how I could see being with her long term, etc.

This weekend she was traveling and I went out with my brother and his wife. I got a little toasted and we ran into a bunch of old friends, one being my sister in law’s maid of honor. We’ve all known each other and have been friends for many years, my brother and sister in law included. While out, I was at the bar talking to the maid of honor and had my arm around her. My hand wasn’t touching her butt or anything. My sister in law added the woman I was dating on social media prior to this. Well my sister in law posted us all out and you could see the maid of honor and I at the bar. I saw the post and decided to get ahead of things and told the woman I was seeing about the picture. Well she ended things with me. I told her we were just friends. She said it’s early and it’s better to end things now because she’s looking for someone serious. I told her I was/am serious about her though. She said having my arm around another woman and saying the things I’ve said to her don’t match up because that’s not the behavior of someone serious.

Isn’t this an overreaction? I did nothing with the maid of honor at all and told her how we’re all friends. I really saw a future with her, and told her so.

She is very immature and toxic. You dodged a bullet and you should be happy about it.
Maybe she has been traumatized by men in her past. You don't want to deal with women that are mentally broken.

Anonymous wrote:Gent here. Chiming in to let you ladies know than men can see the red flags here too. OP thinks he’s clever by threading a needle of being honest about his misbehavior as a way of excusing it, and trying to use his “innocent intent” to justify it. It aligns perfectly with the premature declarations of commitment without the actions to back it up, and the excessive drinking of a single man at age 35. He’s crafting a “good guy” narrative in his own mind and expecting gf to accept it, thinking about makes him right instead of what makes his gf feel right. He’s been single and on the chase to long, that he doesn’t have the intuition for how to be coupled.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been dating two months but I’ve known her years. Things have gotten fairly serious I would say although we’re officially together (yet). We were exclusive though. She’s met my family, we’ve talked about the future, planned a trip with her for next month, and how I could see being with her long term, etc.

This weekend she was traveling and I went out with my brother and his wife. I got a little toasted and we ran into a bunch of old friends, one being my sister in law’s maid of honor. We’ve all known each other and have been friends for many years, my brother and sister in law included. While out, I was at the bar talking to the maid of honor and had my arm around her. My hand wasn’t touching her butt or anything. My sister in law added the woman I was dating on social media prior to this. Well my sister in law posted us all out and you could see the maid of honor and I at the bar. I saw the post and decided to get ahead of things and told the woman I was seeing about the picture. Well she ended things with me. I told her we were just friends. She said it’s early and it’s better to end things now because she’s looking for someone serious. I told her I was/am serious about her though. She said having my arm around another woman and saying the things I’ve said to her don’t match up because that’s not the behavior of someone serious.

Isn’t this an overreaction? I did nothing with the maid of honor at all and told her how we’re all friends. I really saw a future with her, and told her so.

She is very immature and toxic. You dodged a bullet and you should be happy about it.
Maybe she has been traumatized by men in her past. You don't want to deal with women who are mentally broken.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only suppose she has a history of being cheated on, or she's insecure. I know some people are physically affectionate with others (of either sex) and that it just signifies friendship or camaraderie, not sexual or romantic interest.

But lesson learned, OP. Don't put your arm around random women when you're not assured of your date.

There’s more to the story. I simplified it for DCUM. So, a woman who is friends with us and my ex, saw me at the bar with the woman. She took the pictures of me and the MOH at the bar, posted it online, and sent the pictures to my ex and said she was going to “expose me”. So, I had to reach out to my ex and explain what what was going on. As I mentioned, I wanted to get ahead of this and told the woman I was seeing. Again, there’s a still a little bit more to it but that’s the gist.

Messy. This sounds like college drama, not for 35 year olds. My guess is that you have some sort of checkered history - cheating, serial love bombing then dumping, whatever - and the woman you were dating was giving you a chance but keeping her eyes open. She saw you for who you are, which is not marriage material, and cutting her losses. Bye.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only suppose she has a history of being cheated on, or she's insecure. I know some people are physically affectionate with others (of either sex) and that it just signifies friendship or camaraderie, not sexual or romantic interest.

But lesson learned, OP. Don't put your arm around random women when you're not assured of your date.

There’s more to the story. I simplified it for DCUM. So, a woman who is friends with us and my ex, saw me at the bar with the woman. She took the pictures of me and the MOH at the bar, posted it online, and sent the pictures to my ex and said she was going to “expose me”. So, I had to reach out to my ex and explain what what was going on. As I mentioned, I wanted to get ahead of this and told the woman I was seeing. Again, there’s a still a little bit more to it but that’s the gist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She set a completely reasonable boundary. None of my male friends ever put an arm around me. That would be bizarre. You crossed a line, she rightly held it.

In what world are you living? I have male friends and I greet them with a hug.

Anonymous wrote:She set a completely reasonable boundary. None of my male friends ever put an arm around me. That would be bizarre. You crossed a line, she rightly held it.

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been dating two months but I’ve known her years. Things have gotten fairly serious I would say although we’re officially together (yet). We were exclusive though. She’s met my family, we’ve talked about the future, planned a trip with her for next month, and how I could see being with her long term, etc.

This weekend she was traveling and I went out with my brother and his wife. I got a little toasted and we ran into a bunch of old friends, one being my sister in law’s maid of honor. We’ve all known each other and have been friends for many years, my brother and sister in law included. While out, I was at the bar talking to the maid of honor and had my arm around her. My hand wasn’t touching her butt or anything. My sister in law added the woman I was dating on social media prior to this. Well my sister in law posted us all out and you could see the maid of honor and I at the bar. I saw the post and decided to get ahead of things and told the woman I was seeing about the picture. Well she ended things with me. I told her we were just friends. She said it’s early and it’s better to end things now because she’s looking for someone serious. I told her I was/am serious about her though. She said having my arm around another woman and saying the things I’ve said to her don’t match up because that’s not the behavior of someone serious.

Isn’t this an overreaction? I did nothing with the maid of honor at all and told her how we’re all friends. I really saw a future with her, and told her so.

Anonymous wrote:She set a completely reasonable boundary. None of my male friends ever put an arm around me. That would be bizarre. You crossed a line, she rightly held it.

Anonymous wrote:She was already on the fence and just cut it early. No quarter

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only suppose she has a history of being cheated on, or she's insecure. I know some people are physically affectionate with others (of either sex) and that it just signifies friendship or camaraderie, not sexual or romantic interest.

But lesson learned, OP. Don't put your arm around random women when you're not assured of your date.

If the man you’re dating, who is talking marriage with you, the moment you’re out of town has his arms around another woman, at best something is off. I’m assuming she’s around the same age as OP, 35, so I can’t blame for calling it quits early. That’s not insecure at all IMO.