Anonymous
Post 11/05/2024 06:29     Subject: PSA: No gifts means NO GIFTS
Anonymous wrote:I am first generation and was raised poor and say “no gifts” on our daughter’s party invite. The point of a kid bday party is to have fun and spend time together on her birthday, and there is no need to express gratitude or anything else for me buying some pizza and cupcakes. I’m indicating this is a low stakes invitation, not to fuss with shopping for a present, and not to spend money on us because the time/energy of coming to the party is what we really appreciate. If it is an intimate dinner invite or something else I wouldn’t say that.

I think there is a culture of materialism around gift giving that I’m not really interested in engaging in. Most downtown DC families I know have also shared this policy, and it is probably bc we share the same values — we live in small spaces without room for toys, but are often over scheduled so taking to 2-3 hours for the party is really the gift.

I remember growing up being embarrassed about the gifts we could afford to give and dreaded gift opening time because I knew I’d have the worst one (in my mind). We have a diverse set of friends and I would ever want someone to feel financial strained to attend a kid bday party


My reasoning is mostly the same as yours. Our school had a very diverse group of people and I knew some had problems with finances. I never wanted anyone to feel any barriers or stress. To me a celebration is about being together, so we focus on that.
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2024 01:38     Subject: PSA: No gifts means NO GIFTS
Anonymous wrote:I am first generation and was raised poor and say “no gifts” on our daughter’s party invite. The point of a kid bday party is to have fun and spend time together on her birthday, and there is no need to express gratitude or anything else for me buying some pizza and cupcakes. I’m indicating this is a low stakes invitation, not to fuss with shopping for a present, and not to spend money on us because the time/energy of coming to the party is what we really appreciate. If it is an intimate dinner invite or something else I wouldn’t say that.

I think there is a culture of materialism around gift giving that I’m not really interested in engaging in. Most downtown DC families I know have also shared this policy, and it is probably bc we share the same values — we live in small spaces without room for toys, but are often over scheduled so taking to 2-3 hours for the party is really the gift.

I remember growing up being embarrassed about the gifts we could afford to give and dreaded gift opening time because I knew I’d have the worst one (in my mind). We have a diverse set of friends and I would ever want someone to feel financial strained to attend a kid bday party


Same! Also some of those kids might see the gifts and want some, I’d be inclined to let them have them
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2024 01:36     Subject: PSA: No gifts means NO GIFTS
My kids have enough. Way more than I had. Grandparents at fault here. We don’t have the space for more toys. We probably also already have the gift. We have multiple rooms of toys sprawled out all over the floor. I’m not writing thank you letters. I’m not doing party favors. Just come to the party and have fun. No gifts
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2024 00:35     Subject: PSA: No gifts means NO GIFTS
I am first generation and was raised poor and say “no gifts” on our daughter’s party invite. The point of a kid bday party is to have fun and spend time together on her birthday, and there is no need to express gratitude or anything else for me buying some pizza and cupcakes. I’m indicating this is a low stakes invitation, not to fuss with shopping for a present, and not to spend money on us because the time/energy of coming to the party is what we really appreciate. If it is an intimate dinner invite or something else I wouldn’t say that.

I think there is a culture of materialism around gift giving that I’m not really interested in engaging in. Most downtown DC families I know have also shared this policy, and it is probably bc we share the same values — we live in small spaces without room for toys, but are often over scheduled so taking to 2-3 hours for the party is really the gift.

I remember growing up being embarrassed about the gifts we could afford to give and dreaded gift opening time because I knew I’d have the worst one (in my mind). We have a diverse set of friends and I would ever want someone to feel financial strained to attend a kid bday party
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2024 06:00     Subject: Re:PSA: No gifts means NO GIFTS
I do find it off-putting, and confusing when the invite says "no gifts." It feels very virtue-signaling -- we're such morally superior people that we can't be bothered with silly trinkets -- with an underlying touch of "we don't trust you to buy something that won't shame our home." And then I have to do the extra work of trying to figure out whether there is some unspoken expectation that there be money in the card or I instead bring something for the host or contribute in some other way. Ugh. Just be normal and welcome people to celebrate your kid's birthday in keeping with cultural norms. If you are too good for the gift, then quietly toss/donate/regift later.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2024 04:43     Subject: PSA: No gifts means NO GIFTS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you actually were attending many of these parties, you would know that in reality that is not what happens


Right?

No gifts actually means that a gift card or check is prefered.


WHAT? No, absolutely not. If this is what you think is true then you have SERIOUS problems. Wow. Just wow.


Nope, lady. This is exactly what it mean. By writing words in BOLD does not make it true.
People will continue to bring gift, gift cards and checks, even if you don't. And you will just look cheap.