Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IF I ask my husband to do something, he doesn't yell at me, but will either ignore it (gaslight) or make an irritated comment and not do it; it is more threats to leave/etc if he does not like something; sometimes he yells at our dog if he is upset. It is not right, I realize.

Genuine question, it is a married woman thing to be always demanding that their DH do something? I am not married and just wondering

It’s a married person thing. And whoever takes on more of the mental load of house, kid, and other responsibilities, does more of the asking.

Why did PP immediately substitute “demand” for “ask” in the first place? Does she really not know they’re not synonymous?

Anonymous wrote:Call out to me in a raised voice from afar to get my attention? Yes

Raise his voice at me in anger or frustration? Absolutely not. Would never put up with that.

+1

This thread is crazy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. when he is disappointed in me he expresses disappointment with my action or inaction in a reprimanding way. But not often.

Like a teacher or father? Gross.

Yeah it’s not great. More like father than teacher I’d say. It’s annoying. But like I said it’s not often thankfully.

Anonymous wrote:Not really. Maybe if we are in a bad fight. So maybe 2 times a year, if that? I probably yell at him about twice that.

Mine did then started pounding his hands on the dinner table. Took me too many years to extract myself. Divorced now from the toxicity. Trying to recover from the trauma.

My husband, yes, sometimes. It’s shameful. He’s agreed to anger management but I don’t know that’s actually happening. It’s a nightmare and led to really difficult dysfunction that’s difficult to fix. I’m trying to find a therapist.

Call out to me in a raised voice from afar to get my attention? Yes

Raise his voice at me in anger or frustration? Absolutely not. Would never put up with that.

My ex husband did like a maniac and it was frequent. Took me a long time to understand how controlling and abusive it was.

Anonymous wrote:It is very very very very very very rare for American women to be yelled at by their husbands. Now the wives yelling at their husbands is still rare but not uncommon.

Your first sentence is so very wrong. I wish it weren’t. My DH is a good guy in many/most ways, but I get so ground down by the raging/yelling/screaming when he loses it because of job or other stress mostl often having nothing to do with me. I’m far from alone.

Anonymous wrote:
My husband occasionally yells at me. How common is this?

I was with my LH 20 years and he never yelled at me.

Wow, so many women saying their husbands never yell! That is pretty great.
My husband yells very easily and can be quite mean with his words. It is very tough. I have unfortunately become more of a yeller too now that I’m used to telling to defend myself. It’s quite terrible.

Yelling is not acceptable. It shows emotional immaturity, lack of respect, lack of control. Do YOU ever yell at your husband? Why or why not?

Anonymous wrote:
My husband occasionally yells at me. How common is this?

This is domestic violence. You should call the police. Don't wait until he beats and kills you.

Anonymous wrote:Spouses should never yell at each other. Ever. Spouses that do not yell at each other do not have a good relationship.

This may not be culturally universal.