My kids are 6 and 8 (boys) and haven't been invited to sleep over yet except with their cousins, which we allow. Otherwise they've received no sleepover invitations, which is fine with me. I think they're a bit young.

I remember being 11-12 and having a sleepover in a friends backyard in a tent. We got naked, compared stages of puberty and sang to stuffed animals. Nothing sexual happened but still super weird.

I live in UMC white community and everyone has and allows sleepovers at least by late elementary. The most nefarious thing I’ve heard of happening is kids staying up late and getting no sleep. My kid gets more sleep ar sleepovers than she did at Girl Scouts camp where somehow kids ended up outside and unsupervised by adults in the middle of the night.

Never for my 9 year old boy. I think they are a hassle and a risk and would never encourage it. My son is a sensitive sleeper though, like a bad night really effects him, so that's why I say its not worth it. Also just too many variables... rules about tech, interactions with siblings, dealing with food, bed wetting, whatever else. I just dont see any value in it yet. And once he gets to an older age I will be distrustful of what they are getting up to. Also my son does a travel sport and has games pretty much every weekend day most of the year. Those are definitely more valuable to him than a sleep over, so yes we prioritize that in our schedule.

I am surprised by the comments on this thread. My 10 year old DD has had sleepovers for her past 3 birthdays and almost everyone comes. Her 8 year old party had one girl sleep under (the new girl we knew the least well), as did her 9 year old one (different girl, same situation); in the latter case, the girl was allowed to sleepover later in the year, so definitely just caution rather than an anti-sleepover rule. This year, we were 10 for 10 yeses, so not a single one of her friends’ families has a blanket no sleepover rule.

My DD goes to our local DCPS, so I would have thought lots of posters in this forum would have similar experiences.

Curious what percentage of the “nos” are girl parents. Are people allowing boy sleepovers?

I'm starting to think the people who push really hard for sleep overs are sort of nefarious. Why do you need access to other people's kids?!

Anonymous wrote:My daughter wants to have a sleepover with 5 friends for her birthday coming up (turning 9, friends are 8-9). I’ve already talked with the mom of her best friend and that mom said no to sleeping over. I’ll offer to do a sleep under I guess but are sleepovers really not a thing? I remember doing them much earlier growing up.

Should we scrap the sleepover plan and do something else?

We don’t do sleep overs unless with a cousin. If invited my kid would stay til 11 or whenever and get picked up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am still traumatized by the sleepovers I went to as a kid. Some of them had older brothers and fathers who were "weird" and creepy. I did not feel safe. One house was full of smokers and was dirty and had roaches. When I got to be a teen, it was a whole new level of trauma as my sweet "friends" knew older boys or men with cars and had us out and around town all night and we ended up in precarious situations.
When I was a kid, my parents often sent me to sleepovers so they could go to adult parties or out on the town. I had no say in the matter.

I refuse to allow my daughters to go to sleepovers.

As a teen I assume you chose your friends. You chose friends who liked to hang out all night with men. At this age you didn’t have to be friends with those kind of girls, you chose it. How is that trauma?

Hopefully you’ve been able to provide your kids a better standard of living where homes aren’t dirty with bugs and where everyone smokes.

Way to victim blame a child.

Sleepovers are something we do with one set of cousins, we also vacation with them, so my kids accept the rules for them are different. I see the fun in staying up a little late and “camping” on the floor but wouldn’t consider that worth the risk with random ES/MS parents.

We’re not doing sleepovers. When things that shouldn’t happen happen, it tends to be in vulnerable settings, like a sleepover. Minimal or no adult supervision during the night, older siblings, different house rules, internet access, etc. Sleep unders have all the fun without the same level of risk. I’m not sure what’s lost.

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers are fine and fun. But, I can't believe ppl have such busy weeks that kids need to be picked up early or not... my childhood weekends were never this busy.

Seriously 100% this. I had sleepovers multiple times a month as a kid and it was never a big deal if we were tired the next day as activities weren't so competitive that it mattered.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am still traumatized by the sleepovers I went to as a kid. Some of them had older brothers and fathers who were "weird" and creepy. I did not feel safe. One house was full of smokers and was dirty and had roaches. When I got to be a teen, it was a whole new level of trauma as my sweet "friends" knew older boys or men with cars and had us out and around town all night and we ended up in precarious situations.
When I was a kid, my parents often sent me to sleepovers so they could go to adult parties or out on the town. I had no say in the matter.

I refuse to allow my daughters to go to sleepovers.

Bingo. Always some variation of this.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am still traumatized by the sleepovers I went to as a kid. Some of them had older brothers and fathers who were "weird" and creepy. I did not feel safe. One house was full of smokers and was dirty and had roaches. When I got to be a teen, it was a whole new level of trauma as my sweet "friends" knew older boys or men with cars and had us out and around town all night and we ended up in precarious situations.
When I was a kid, my parents often sent me to sleepovers so they could go to adult parties or out on the town. I had no say in the matter.

I refuse to allow my daughters to go to sleepovers.

As a teen I assume you chose your friends. You chose friends who liked to hang out all night with men. At this age you didn’t have to be friends with those kind of girls, you chose it. How is that trauma?

Hopefully you’ve been able to provide your kids a better standard of living where homes aren’t dirty with bugs and where everyone smokes.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am still traumatized by the sleepovers I went to as a kid. Some of them had older brothers and fathers who were "weird" and creepy. I did not feel safe. One house was full of smokers and was dirty and had roaches. When I got to be a teen, it was a whole new level of trauma as my sweet "friends" knew older boys or men with cars and had us out and around town all night and we ended up in precarious situations.
When I was a kid, my parents often sent me to sleepovers so they could go to adult parties or out on the town. I had no say in the matter.

I refuse to allow my daughters to go to sleepovers.

Similar situation here. Have some childhood trauma from creepy dads at sleepovers. Don’t allow my kids to go, but luckily they have no interest.