Anonymous
10/12/2024 09:47
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
OP, I was your future DIL.
My MIL openly criticized every choice I had ever made; from employment, to volunteering to choosing to be a SAHM, to not renovating our house.
Over 20 years later and 4DC, I have no relationship with my MIL. I went gray rock as she was so intrusive and toxic.
What my MIL doesn’t know is that I inherited a life-changing amount of money and sold a rental I’ve owned for a long time.
My MIL openly criticized every choice I had ever made; from employment, to volunteering to choosing to be a SAHM, to not renovating our house.
Over 20 years later and 4DC, I have no relationship with my MIL. I went gray rock as she was so intrusive and toxic.
What my MIL doesn’t know is that I inherited a life-changing amount of money and sold a rental I’ve owned for a long time.
Anonymous
10/12/2024 09:17
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.
It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!
Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.
Raising a family is a career.
But does she have those skills? Did she study early childhood education? Is she client in another language and will teach the kids? Can she cook and understand nutrition? Does she know first aid, arts and crafts? Can she manage people and get complicated projects done?
Anonymous
10/12/2024 09:12
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
There’s no shame in it if it’s the best he can do, but as my mother always said, it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich (wo)man as it is a poor one.
Anonymous
10/12/2024 09:11
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.
It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!
Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.
Raising a family is a career.
+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.
so.. the welfare queen with five kids must be at the height of her career then.
The welfare queen these days is some older couple living in a rural area. Also lots of fake disability in these areas too.
Of all counties that derive 25%+ from government handouts, 90% are in rural areas.
Read the WSJ article just written about it.
Anonymous
10/12/2024 08:19
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.
It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!
Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.
Raising a family is a career.
+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.
so.. the welfare queen with five kids must be at the height of her career then.
Anonymous
10/12/2024 08:12
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Op, how do you know she has no money of her own?
Do you know if she has some mental or physical health problems?
I have made over $40k only once in 27 years per my social security statement.
I have made about $500k during my lifetime, but saved my family ca $700k. I invested some of the money I had earned an it grew rapidly in stock market. I also learned how to trade. It's a skill, not luck.
My partner and I kept out finances separately because we were not married.
I retired at the age of 46 never having had a career or made a lot of money. There are other ways to make it in life besides a career.
I always had it in me to make it financially even on low income. I credit my childhood, prk3-12 education, strong mental and physical health, and work ethic.
My two boys have investment account so that they wouldn't have to choose their partner based on how much money she makes.
Their mom, that's me, was/is the low income immigrant who is doing fine in life without a career. I'd be speechless if they showed up one day complaining about how little girlfriend made.They know their mom's (or anyone's) worth is not their paycheck.
I'd be more worried about the persons mental and physical health which have been bigger problems in life than money ever was. Same with work ethic. I can fix the money problem.
If you are so awesome, OP, why not set the girl up with a career.
Do you know if she has some mental or physical health problems?
I have made over $40k only once in 27 years per my social security statement.
I have made about $500k during my lifetime, but saved my family ca $700k. I invested some of the money I had earned an it grew rapidly in stock market. I also learned how to trade. It's a skill, not luck.
My partner and I kept out finances separately because we were not married.
I retired at the age of 46 never having had a career or made a lot of money. There are other ways to make it in life besides a career.
I always had it in me to make it financially even on low income. I credit my childhood, prk3-12 education, strong mental and physical health, and work ethic.
My two boys have investment account so that they wouldn't have to choose their partner based on how much money she makes.
Their mom, that's me, was/is the low income immigrant who is doing fine in life without a career. I'd be speechless if they showed up one day complaining about how little girlfriend made.They know their mom's (or anyone's) worth is not their paycheck.
I'd be more worried about the persons mental and physical health which have been bigger problems in life than money ever was. Same with work ethic. I can fix the money problem.
If you are so awesome, OP, why not set the girl up with a career.
Anonymous
10/12/2024 01:51
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.
It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!
Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.
Raising a family is a career. [/quote
Its a role and responsiblity but not a career.
Anonymous
10/12/2024 00:16
Subject: Re:Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:It would depend on how she treats him and how she acts. If it seems like she is getting married to be taken care of and spend his money, I would be worried. I guess I would also worry about anyone who went to college and does not go into a career, as it likely means they are pretty fragile / cannot handle any stress.
That's a lot of guessing. Why not see how things develop?
Anonymous
10/11/2024 23:37
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about your son (who has a semi lucrative career but nothing crazy) marrying a woman who is college educated but makes close to minimum wage in her late 20’s? This is my son. She’s pretty and nice but has no career or money of her own. They’re both the same age.
Maybe son and das didn't get enough love and attention at home and he wants a more traditionally present and involved wife and mom in his family?
Anonymous
10/11/2024 22:11
Subject: Re:Son marrying a woman with no career
It would depend on how she treats him and how she acts. If it seems like she is getting married to be taken care of and spend his money, I would be worried. I guess I would also worry about anyone who went to college and does not go into a career, as it likely means they are pretty fragile / cannot handle any stress.
Anonymous
10/11/2024 22:02
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.
It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!
Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.
Raising a family is a career.
+100
Loving children into responsible adults is a very meaningful and important career.
Anonymous
10/11/2024 21:59
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.
It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!
Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.
Raising a family is a career.
Oh please
Anonymous
10/11/2024 21:56
Subject: Re:Son marrying a woman with no career
I wouldn’t be thrilled but if she was nice and they were in love I would support them.
Anonymous
10/11/2024 21:51
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I always made less money than my husband, but I was a better investor, and always saved more (before we married and after). I have more money in my IRA accounts than he does.
It doesn't matter to me because we've been married for a while and we each have our strengths. MIL has no clue about our finances, but maybe she complains to her friends that I'm not her son's financial equal!
Having less money is one thing. Not having career goals to be able to stand on your own two feet is another.
Raising a family is a career.
Anonymous
10/11/2024 21:48
Subject: Son marrying a woman with no career
Anonymous wrote:My friend who made well over 550K a year when single only wanted to date women no career who would to be a great Mom.
He married a nice girl who worked in a department store who did go to college.
They live in a mansion and have three great looking kids. He had plenty of cash. He just needed someone to be there to run house.
He doesn't know what a housekeeper is?