Anonymous wrote:15 years ago or so, there was a boy in my DC's kindergarten who clearly needed more assistance than the standard classroom was equipped for. However, his parents enrolled him in K and denied that there was any problem at all. In spite of many incidents, the parents refused to agree to meet for an IEP that would have given this child 1:1 support. So the school had to work through a long drawn out process of creating a paper trail to eventually, like a year later, force the issue in a manner that would stick and not get them sued. In the meantime, the kindergarten teacher has a nervous breakdown and quit, so the series of substitutes basically spent the year trying to keep the other kids safe from this kid. I hope he eventually got the help he needed in spite of his parents.

I am sorry for any parents and students who have to go through any of this, incl. the OP.

Please know that sometimes families are seeking help and trying to get their kid moved.

15 years ago my kid was "that kid" acting out in K. While he never hit anyone as far as I know (and I was called a lot), he did chase someone around after lunch recess and tried to kick them, unsuccessfully. For that he was suspended from school. I am not sure what stories were going around, but we in fact tried to get an IEP meeting and added help. DS had been diagnosed with ADHD and ASD. The school administration stood firmly in our way and it was not until we sought legal intervention that DS was granted an evaluation for an IEP eligibility by the school. Not surprising, he was eligible. In the end, the school and teacher continued on about their business and DS received a more appropriate placement. The status quo does not work for the "problem" student, and certainly does not work for the rest of the students and teachers.

Can anyone tell me the result when they have called the Police on a violent child? Did the police take it seriously? Did it light a fire under the school?

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. And the violence will usually escalate. These are the kids who are causing teachers to leave, sometimes mid year. In my experience these weren’t special needs kids, they were kids who had abusive parents at home. They’d been abused themselves.

IDK. I think it's the whole increasingly common neurodivergent problem kids have. Prenatal exposures, PFAS in the environment. things we know nothing about in the long-term but are likely affecting developing nervous systems in humans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There doesn't seem to be any action"

How in the world would you know what action has or hasn't been taken?

My kid was that kid. BEGGED AND PLEADED for him to be removed to a special school. It never happened. By all means, bug the administration, I'm sure his parents don't want him to hurt other kids either.

It is a long, difficult process, but still much easier and faster if the child's parents are on board for getting help, but believe me, many parents are not, and then it is nearly impossible. You cannot force people to help their children, especially when they don't see a problem.

And, on the flip side, as frustrating as the red tape is, it is there to prevent knee jerk reactions that are harmful to children.

Please stop spreading this false narrative that there are huge numbers of parents in denial and doing nothing. This perpetuates the insidious idea that it's all our fault and therefore the school system doesn't really have to do anything. I interact pretty regularly in lots of special needs spaces and I have never met a parent who does nothing. Maybe they don't take the actions you think are best, but they know their children and their needs. As a special needs parent I've been offered lots of 'help' that is completely inappropriate for their needs and diagnosis. No thank you![b]

I said nothing to suggest that it is your fault, nor did I say "huge numbers." But it is absolutely not false that your (or my) model of special needs parenting is not the only one encountered in schools. If you don't believe that parents deny their kid has any special needs whatsoever and fight against the school's recommendations, just ask your school counselor.

There is a spectrum from schools wanting to implement a plan and parents denying it to parents begging for a plan and schools denying it, and every mix in between.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone wonder why the heck we have so many violent elementary aged students nowadays? There existed in the past, but it feels like in every school I hear of multiple kids who are destructive and dangerous. What has changed?

I’m an SN parent and I’ve spent 10+ yrs on the Kids with SN forum. I was reading it yesterday wondering the same thing. The first page is filled with variations on the same topic. So many kids are struggling and it’s coming out as violent behavior in the classroom. I was trying to remember if it was always this bad once school got underway but this year just seems overwhelmingly bad.

I'm a Special Education teacher and have a child with a disability. Schools have been quietly whittling away services and making the job impossible for the past 10 years or so. Fewer services and fewer teachers who can provide the existing services is a recipe for disaster. Each year feels a little worse than the one before because qualified people are not willing to take a job where they're underpaid and not respected.

+1 we’ve cut self-contained programs and are striving to have even students with significant needs in gen Ed 80% of the time. It’s not going well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone wonder why the heck we have so many violent elementary aged students nowadays? There existed in the past, but it feels like in every school I hear of multiple kids who are destructive and dangerous. What has changed?

I’m an SN parent and I’ve spent 10+ yrs on the Kids with SN forum. I was reading it yesterday wondering the same thing. The first page is filled with variations on the same topic. So many kids are struggling and it’s coming out as violent behavior in the classroom. I was trying to remember if it was always this bad once school got underway but this year just seems overwhelmingly bad.

I'm a Special Education teacher and have a child with a disability. Schools have been quietly whittling away services and making the job impossible for the past 10 years or so. Fewer services and fewer teachers who can provide the existing services is a recipe for disaster. Each year feels a little worse than the one before because qualified people are not willing to take a job where they're underpaid and not respected.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone wonder why the heck we have so many violent elementary aged students nowadays? There existed in the past, but it feels like in every school I hear of multiple kids who are destructive and dangerous. What has changed?

I’m an SN parent and I’ve spent 10+ yrs on the Kids with SN forum. I was reading it yesterday wondering the same thing. The first page is filled with variations on the same topic. So many kids are struggling and it’s coming out as violent behavior in the classroom. I was trying to remember if it was always this bad once school got underway but this year just seems overwhelmingly bad.

One thing is the inability to discipline. Kids would have been sent home or at least to the office once upon a time but now are just left in classrooms to disrupt. The other seems to me to be the breakdown of parents caring how they are viewed by others, which may relate to overwhelm, exhaustion, or spreading out of parents with this attitude as schools and communities sought to be more inclusive. I think the latter accelerated when society collectively turned is back on parents during the pandemic.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone wonder why the heck we have so many violent elementary aged students nowadays? There existed in the past, but it feels like in every school I hear of multiple kids who are destructive and dangerous. What has changed?

I’m an SN parent and I’ve spent 10+ yrs on the Kids with SN forum. I was reading it yesterday wondering the same thing. The first page is filled with variations on the same topic. So many kids are struggling and it’s coming out as violent behavior in the classroom. I was trying to remember if it was always this bad once school got underway but this year just seems overwhelmingly bad.

Does anyone wonder why the heck we have so many violent elementary aged students nowadays? There existed in the past, but it feels like in every school I hear of multiple kids who are destructive and dangerous. What has changed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There doesn't seem to be any action"

How in the world would you know what action has or hasn't been taken?

My kid was that kid. BEGGED AND PLEADED for him to be removed to a special school. It never happened. By all means, bug the administration, I'm sure his parents don't want him to hurt other kids either.

It is a long, difficult process, but still much easier and faster if the child's parents are on board for getting help, but believe me, many parents are not, and then it is nearly impossible. You cannot force people to help their children, especially when they don't see a problem.

And, on the flip side, as frustrating as the red tape is, it is there to prevent knee jerk reactions that are harmful to children.

Please stop spreading this false narrative that there are huge numbers of parents in denial and doing nothing. This perpetuates the insidious idea that it's all our fault and therefore the school system doesn't really have to do anything. I interact pretty regularly in lots of special needs spaces and I have never met a parent who does nothing. Maybe they don't take the actions you think are best, but they know their children and their needs. As a special needs parent I've been offered lots of 'help' that is completely inappropriate for their needs and diagnosis. No thank you![b]

I work in a Title I school, and I absolutely have met parents that deny special needs and refuse services. There are cultural issues at play. It’s incredibly frustrating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you posting here because you have a child with SNs and you want to know how to protect them?

Or are you assuming that the "violent child" has SNs and that's why you posting in this forum?

I’m assuming a 9 year old who is violent has some special needs. I think that’s a fair assumption, no?

I don’t think that’s a fair assessment at all. Everything is a diagnosis these days. The sad reality is some kids are treated badly at home and act out. That’s not “special needs.”

Please explain to the class what "special needs" means.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would let my child hit this guy back. Sometimes it does wonders, even for SN kids.

Yes, send your kid to fight against someone with no self control.no way they'll lose an eye or a testicle from that

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"There doesn't seem to be any action"

How in the world would you know what action has or hasn't been taken?

My kid was that kid. BEGGED AND PLEADED for him to be removed to a special school. It never happened. By all means, bug the administration, I'm sure his parents don't want him to hurt other kids either.

what is his diagnosis?

I know there’s been no action because the student is in the classroom and my child continues to be hit.

Why would I tell you my kid's DX? You aren't a SN parent clearly.

Also - that doesn't mean there's been no action. Don't get me wrong, your kid being hit is completely unacceptable, but that doesn't mean the parents aren't doing anything.

Parents that have crazy kids that send them to school knowing they will cause irreparable damage to many other kids are complicit. Don't dare lash out at victimized parents and kids. You are choosing to send your kid to school with full knowledge of what's happening every day. You can't play the victim. You have no idea nor do you care what these kids do to the teacher and the kids. We had 3 established teachers quit for 3 consecutive grades because of several kids like this. One kid thought it was funny to pull on my kid's broken limb that was healing. This is not special needs for education these are sociopaths and these kids need to be gone.

Aaaaand you are why PP won’t share any more info about her child. SMH.

Teachers are sick of it. Normal parents are over it. Regular kids are traumatized and bullied daily. Consensus is building. Keep thinking your entitled thoughts instead of understanding what your crazy kids are doing to schools.

Honestly I would let my child hit this guy back. Sometimes it does wonders, even for SN kids.

Special needs parent here. In my experience, schools are WAY too slow to provide services and parents are too slow to try medication. Not just ADHD medication but SSRIs for kids with autism whose anxiety is making them act out aggressively. Most the blame is on the school, in my experience, but I do blame the parents for the medication piece sometimes. They will try every other thing and think it’s so virtuous that they haven’t resorted to meds, when the child and everyone around them is clearly suffering. In my experience.