Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trust your gut on this one. I'd bring her to a psychiatrist for therapy, and also consider the neuropathy test. Girls aren't always identified with ADHD/anxiety/ASD, and this could be it. An IEP will be helpful, even though she is doing really well.
We had to take this on ourselves, since my kid wasn't doing poorly in school. But now, a few years in, we know we did the right thing.
I'm so sorry. This is really hard.
A child doesn't just get an IEP, whether they have a formal diagnosis of anxiety or ADHD or ASD. It doesn't work like that (nor should it).
OP - what would an IEP look like for a kid who tests well and does well in school?
I am also so worried that we ruined DD during covid lockdowns. She does not do well with change/unfamiliar schedules and during covid we had just had a new baby, ripped her out of her daycare and then started her in virtual kindergarten. I had very severe PPD during this time that was untreated (due to covid policies) and probably was the worst parent ever during this time. Lots of yelling, screaming, disregulated household, etc. I got treated for my PPD, my youngest started sleeping through the night and it got better but I am so worried that during this time we truly ruined DD and this is all stemming from that period of time.
While most of us parents have wondered whether we "ruined" our children at times, the household environment you described is highly unlikely to be the cause of whatever is going on now. The pandemic was already close to 3 years ago. Maybe the stress caused some of the underlying issues that were already there to surface, but based on what you described, it's unlikely that the household environment for a finite period of time "caused" this.
Just get the neuro psych exam. Better to have answers than trying to figure it out on your own. My DD was diagnosed with ADHD at age 7. She shares a lot of the same traits you describe with your DD: inflexibility, emotional outbursts, losing track of time/difficulty staying on task (especially when we are trying to leave the house), wanting things to be just so--esp with her hair. She was also have difficulty regulating her emotions at school but she's a good student overall. I thought she had anxiety but when we finally had her tested, she was diagnosed with ADHD which took me by surprise. I didn't realize how much emotional dysregulation is a core feature of ADHD.
All of this to say, just have her tested. If this was any other medical issue, of course you'd WANT the test to understand what is going on and how to treat it. It's the same here.
… emotional dysregulation can be a symptom of a lot of things, including, yes, instability at home and a dysfunctional parenting style. (also OP says no academic issues so ADHD is unlikely.) a neuropsych will take months/years to access. OP doesn’t have time for that and needs to find parenting support.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here - the reason our therapist hasn’t indicated it was ADHD is that DD has no trouble concentrating. She does great and school, comes home and immediately does her homework, has never once not studied for a test, is very organized. Not sure if that is just masking a problem or not.
Will look into the SPACE therapy.
I think you are looking for problems where there aren’t any.
It sounds like you have a very high functioning kid whose outbursts don’t really affect her life significantly in any way (doesn’t have them at school or around friends), and you already have her in therapy.
Anonymous wrote:Op here - the reason our therapist hasn’t indicated it was ADHD is that DD has no trouble concentrating. She does great and school, comes home and immediately does her homework, has never once not studied for a test, is very organized. Not sure if that is just masking a problem or not.
Will look into the SPACE therapy.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here - the reason our therapist hasn’t indicated it was ADHD is that DD has no trouble concentrating. She does great and school, comes home and immediately does her homework, has never once not studied for a test, is very organized. Not sure if that is just masking a problem or not.
Will look into the SPACE therapy.
Is she intelligent? School may just be easy - ADHD will show up more as school gets harder. When you can do your homework easily you don’t need to command much of your executive function. Then later, you hit high school and have no study skills.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here - the reason our therapist hasn’t indicated it was ADHD is that DD has no trouble concentrating. She does great and school, comes home and immediately does her homework, has never once not studied for a test, is very organized. Not sure if that is just masking a problem or not.
Will look into the SPACE therapy.
Is she intelligent? School may just be easy - ADHD will show up more as school gets harder. When you can do your homework easily you don’t need to command much of your executive function. Then later, you hit high school and have no study skills.
Anonymous wrote:Op here - the reason our therapist hasn’t indicated it was ADHD is that DD has no trouble concentrating. She does great and school, comes home and immediately does her homework, has never once not studied for a test, is very organized. Not sure if that is just masking a problem or not.
Will look into the SPACE therapy.
Anonymous wrote:DD is 9 and has been in virtual therapy every other week for the past 3 years. She has anxiety and is prone to outbursts when things are not going her way. I have repeatedly asked her pediatrician and therapist if they think she has signs of ADHD, autism, any other neurocognitive disabilities and they all say no. I would like to get a neuropsych evaluations but my DH doesn't think she needs it because her pediatrician and therapist have not recommended it.
Example of her outbursts - she is very slow in the mornings. We need to leave at 7:30am for school. I woke her up at 6:45am this morning and she went into the shower. She didn't get out of the shower until 7:10am and the needed to change and eat. Usually this is fine but this morning her hair "wasn't perfect" and she kept trying to get it smoothed out and getting more and more upset. It culminated with her downstairs yelling that I couldn't get her hair perfect, screaming on the floor, hitting her head and saying she was stupid and an idiot.
I try my hardest not to react but of course I am human as well. I have 2 other kids I need to get up and out the door and I didn't want them to be late for school. I always feel like I am trying to mitigate any possible obstacles in her life so she doesn't have huge emotional breakdowns, which I know isn't the best course of action. I am at a loss as to what to do. She is very well behaved at school, never has this type of reaction, her teachers all tell me she is polite, helpful and does her work. Her test scores are high and her grades are always very good. She is exhausting and makes if difficult for me to parent. I did not want to start my Monday this way and has made the beginning of the week miserable for everyone in the house.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trust your gut on this one. I'd bring her to a psychiatrist for therapy, and also consider the neuropathy test. Girls aren't always identified with ADHD/anxiety/ASD, and this could be it. An IEP will be helpful, even though she is doing really well.
We had to take this on ourselves, since my kid wasn't doing poorly in school. But now, a few years in, we know we did the right thing.
I'm so sorry. This is really hard.
A child doesn't just get an IEP, whether they have a formal diagnosis of anxiety or ADHD or ASD. It doesn't work like that (nor should it).
OP - what would an IEP look like for a kid who tests well and does well in school?
I am also so worried that we ruined DD during covid lockdowns. She does not do well with change/unfamiliar schedules and during covid we had just had a new baby, ripped her out of her daycare and then started her in virtual kindergarten. I had very severe PPD during this time that was untreated (due to covid policies) and probably was the worst parent ever during this time. Lots of yelling, screaming, disregulated household, etc. I got treated for my PPD, my youngest started sleeping through the night and it got better but I am so worried that during this time we truly ruined DD and this is all stemming from that period of time.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trust your gut on this one. I'd bring her to a psychiatrist for therapy, and also consider the neuropathy test. Girls aren't always identified with ADHD/anxiety/ASD, and this could be it. An IEP will be helpful, even though she is doing really well.
We had to take this on ourselves, since my kid wasn't doing poorly in school. But now, a few years in, we know we did the right thing.
I'm so sorry. This is really hard.
A child doesn't just get an IEP, whether they have a formal diagnosis of anxiety or ADHD or ASD. It doesn't work like that (nor should it).
OP - what would an IEP look like for a kid who tests well and does well in school?
I am also so worried that we ruined DD during covid lockdowns. She does not do well with change/unfamiliar schedules and during covid we had just had a new baby, ripped her out of her daycare and then started her in virtual kindergarten. I had very severe PPD during this time that was untreated (due to covid policies) and probably was the worst parent ever during this time. Lots of yelling, screaming, disregulated household, etc. I got treated for my PPD, my youngest started sleeping through the night and it got better but I am so worried that during this time we truly ruined DD and this is all stemming from that period of time.
While most of us parents have wondered whether we "ruined" our children at times, the household environment you described is highly unlikely to be the cause of whatever is going on now. The pandemic was already close to 3 years ago. Maybe the stress caused some of the underlying issues that were already there to surface, but based on what you described, it's unlikely that the household environment for a finite period of time "caused" this.
Just get the neuro psych exam. Better to have answers than trying to figure it out on your own. My DD was diagnosed with ADHD at age 7. She shares a lot of the same traits you describe with your DD: inflexibility, emotional outbursts, losing track of time/difficulty staying on task (especially when we are trying to leave the house), wanting things to be just so--esp with her hair. She was also have difficulty regulating her emotions at school but she's a good student overall. I thought she had anxiety but when we finally had her tested, she was diagnosed with ADHD which took me by surprise. I didn't realize how much emotional dysregulation is a core feature of ADHD.
All of this to say, just have her tested. If this was any other medical issue, of course you'd WANT the test to understand what is going on and how to treat it. It's the same here.