Anonymous wrote:Embrace your role as a teacher. There are many things you’ll need to teach your child to do over the next 10 years or so. You cannot count on anyone else to do it. It’s a really long list, so better to start now.

+100. this is parenthood!

Trained DS at just over 3 years. Didn’t follow a particular method, but we were consistent.

Day 1 - Set a “potty alarm” and went to the bathroom every 30 minutes. Got a check mark for trying. Got to 10 and received a special toy. By end of Day 1 he was getting up and going on his own even when the alarm didn’t go off.

We trained in Pull-ups because I’m not adding to the stress by having to clean my entire house all day.

Day 2 - Same process, but potty alarm was every 45 minutes. Second half of the day we barely used the alarm because he was self-initiating.

Day 3 - Same process but first day in underwear. He had an accident when he couldn’t pull his pants down quick enough. I calmly cleaned it up, comforted him, and let him know accidents happen.

Some people (including here) seem obsessed with training as early as possible, but each kid is different and you have to work with them. Our son wasn’t ready earlier, but when he was it was a breeze compared to some of the stories I’ve heard.

Contrary to what some may say, 3 isn’t too late.

Anonymous wrote:Op here -

Further to the above, when reading the book I didn't really understand the daycare chapter. The reality is we are both working and so won't be able to take leave after Thursday next week. It didn't feel like a load of the stuff in there matches what we see with our daycare and she seemed quite against the staff. My worry is how this works when we go back to daycare (if it takes longer like the book suggests it could)

What does your daycare do about potty training? Your child is not the first one who needs to be trained. You both should be on board with potty training your child.

Embrace your role as a teacher. There are many things you’ll need to teach your child to do over the next 10 years or so. You cannot count on anyone else to do it. It’s a really long list, so better to start now.

in my kiddos daycare class (kids are 2.5-3.5), about half the kids need a pull-up for naptime (mine included), but everyone goes to school only in underwear shortly after they join the class. They see the older kids going potty and wearing "big kid" underwear, and they want to do that too.

My kiddo has had one accident at daycare in the last month, and that was during naptime when they'd managed to remove their pull-up.

currently, they are still a little feisty about potty at home, lots of refusals about going before we go out to dinner, so I give them an option of sitting on the potty or putting on a pull-up. About half the time they pick a pull-up, but they still ask to go to the bathroom when out. We haven't had a non-sleep accident or wet pullup in about 4 months, they turn 3 next week.

I have the oxo travel potty in the car (I call it the "adventure" potty), and we have a variety of cute seat reducers, one small ikea potty, and one of the animal-with-ladder seats. They prefer the ikea potty to go by themselves, and are not so much into the ladder seat (haven't used it in a month.) But it helps to give them a choice, so instead of "do you want to go potty or not", it's "do you want to use the bear or the owl?"

I'm surprised the staff isn't very supportive at daycare... is your kid one of the older ones in the cohort?

Being in daycare is what trained my kids. Seeing their friends go potty. Having the routine be normalized there. Depending on the age of other kids and the daycare routine it may take a bit longer. Start with a conversation with your daycare about how they handle it and what they support. Are they willing to change underwear multiple times a day or will they just stick the kid in a pull up.

I think it also depends on how much work you want to do. People who really need kids out of diapers to save money etc or hate changing them may train earlier but it takes a lot of hours of time when they are younger (like taking off work or doing the 3 day crash course). After everything we learned we didn’t bother training my last kid, who self-trained (via the routine at daycare) at 3.5. I think we had a couple conversations to reinforce that we pee and poop in the potty but that’s it. Was a dream for us but you do you!

Op here -

Further to the above, when reading the book I didn't really understand the daycare chapter. The reality is we are both working and so won't be able to take leave after Thursday next week. It didn't feel like a load of the stuff in there matches what we see with our daycare and she seemed quite against the staff. My worry is how this works when we go back to daycare (if it takes longer like the book suggests it could)

We cleared the house out, got special nighttime pull ups and started naked yesterday, sticking with the oh crap approach. I trust it is the correct way, but it was incredibly messy. I only caught her when she'd started weeing, and could not find a pattern. I could see her poop cue (still without warning). What are the pee cues you could spot? We are doing the same again today, hopefully we can start to get a pattern going.

Anonymous wrote:Get a little potty put a doll on it and start reading books about the potty.

Potty Elmo was the bomb for us 18 years ago.

Our kids both trained right after turning 2. They weren’t showing signs of being ready or interested but we just decided to give it a go and see how it went. They both learned within a few days. I don’t understand why you’d just wait til your kid is “ready”? That could take a really long time. You’re the parent. It’s your job to teach them how to do things and guide them through it, not wait until they tell you they want to do things.

Get a little potty put a doll on it and start reading books about the potty.

Op here, I've read the book and will try the full strategy, starting today, having managed to get two days off.

I quit reading after the first page or two because people have been overwhelmingly rude and borderline cruel to the OP.

She asked for help, and the MAJORITY of posts were almost all just people stating (unhelpfully) that “3 is too old!!” Etc, and some being downright mean.

To the OP,

I have three kids, two of whom are grown now. And guess what, they were ALL different, drastically so, in how they potty trained. And two were even twins!

Oldest basically trained himself, without any real pushing by us, a week before he turned 3. Didn’t require any rewards, or motivation of any sort.

His brother, however, was incredibly stubborn… and had us worrying that he’d be nearing kindergarten and still not yet be done with potty training. He had to go at his own pace, and was completely unbothered by his family/peers around him being in underwear. Didn’t motivate him at all.

Our daughter trained VERY early, and then regressed a year later, after an extended hospital stay, and then was in underwear 100% of the time a few months later.

That’s not even accounting for nighttime, one kid was still wearing diapers for bedtime up until his 7th birthday! (Nighttime dryness is not something they can be taught)

What I’m trying to get at here, is that EVERY kid is different. If a bunch of posters are loudly bemoaning that their kids trained when they were 1 year old or something…then great! That worked well for them.

If your kid isn’t ready yet, then guess what? That’s fine too! Seriously, they won’t go high school in diapers still, I assure you. Every kid gets it eventually.

Don’t stress! And don’t let the breathless naysayers get to you. Your daughter will be fine.

op consistency is key - take a week off of work or whatever is holding you back, stay home and train your child