Anonymous wrote:I’ve never met a man who wanted a baby who couldn’t find some woman to give it to him.

+10000. I am recently divorced and I am 48. One of the woman I went on date with was 38 and she was trying to convince me that I wasn't too old to have a child. She was talking in a hypothetical sense that if she were go get pregnant with me again 39 I would 49. No thanks lol.

Heck no… Just find a cool chick that wants a kid, have it with her and share custody. I lucked out and found such one. Works out perfectly. Not married, she’s cool, her family is cool, we hangout together. Go to school functions, etc without all the marriage headaches. Thank God!

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Anonymous wrote:No. (Straight) Men who are the type to actually put in the work and be hands-on parents are going to be able to find someone to have kids with. The difference is the men who want kids and a wife but don’t want to have to pull a second shift may not be able to find someone but they also won’t be willing to spend the money and time to parent solo.

They will still be able to find women to have babies with because they will lie about their interest and their willingness to do the work, as they have always done.

Well women lie about their interest and willingness to have sex after marriage, as they have always done, so this is fair enough.

dp.. I didn't lie about it. My body just decided it was too tired and stressed out to have sex.

Once the kids got older, and my stress level was reduced, we had a lot more sex.

I don't think men understand how stress and birth control pills kill a woman's libido.

The lie is what they tell you before marriage and during the early years, not when they decide they’re “tired” and don’t have to bother any more.

Here's a man telling women how they feel and whether they were being honest or not.

Typical man.

"There is no truth or lying, only what I feel right now, and if that changes and what I say now is different from what I said yesterday, that's your problem, deal with it."

Typical woman.

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Do you think this may be connected to the fact that after marriage and baby they realize that their husbands have lied to them about the extent to which they expect their wife to do their (i.e. the husband's labor)?

No because married women lose interest in sex no matter how much work you do on the house and kids. You can be super-dad, it just doesn’t matter. Plenty of examples of sexless marriages among childless couples.

dp.. so, how do you explain sexless marriages where men are the ones who don't want sex?

Why do some men not want sex after being married a while? Let me guess.. when men don't want sex then it's because of stress or low T, but if women don't want sex it's because they lied, right?

Whenever this comes up on DCUM it is very common that he was always not very interested in sex, even before the marriage, and the woman just chose to ignore that. So he wasn’t dishonestly changing the deal like the women who insist before marriage that they will want lots of sex forever.

That's not what I've read.

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Anonymous wrote:No. (Straight) Men who are the type to actually put in the work and be hands-on parents are going to be able to find someone to have kids with. The difference is the men who want kids and a wife but don’t want to have to pull a second shift may not be able to find someone but they also won’t be willing to spend the money and time to parent solo.

They will still be able to find women to have babies with because they will lie about their interest and their willingness to do the work, as they have always done.

Well women lie about their interest and willingness to have sex after marriage, as they have always done, so this is fair enough.

dp.. I didn't lie about it. My body just decided it was too tired and stressed out to have sex.

Once the kids got older, and my stress level was reduced, we had a lot more sex.

I don't think men understand how stress and birth control pills kill a woman's libido.

The lie is what they tell you before marriage and during the early years, not when they decide they’re “tired” and don’t have to bother any more.

Here's a man telling women how they feel and whether they were being honest or not.

Typical man.

Maybe she'd have sex with you more if you weren't such a tool.

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Anonymous wrote:Also, I think men are paid a paltry sum for their DNA at sperm clinics. That is atrocious.

It makes no sense. Their DNA is devalued because of the rapid mechanism that expels it? The bias that devalues male dna?

Everything is upside down in this industry. It’s also not fair to men either to have 50 half siblings as off spring.

1990s sperm donor here. It was a lot of money to me at the time - much more than I was making as a postdoc - and for something I was going to do anyway, lmao.

You guys are fascinating. I guess I should not be angry on your behalf. Maybe bc I’m a “boy mom.” I’m like Hey… (I told my sons not to donate). They are teens. LOL.

I think it's weird that guys would do this. Do they not think about how they have biological children in this world? These are your children. Are they never curious about how they turned out?

They have the option to reach out to me when they’re 18, so I know how some of them turned out - which was very well indeed.

But, isn't it weird that you know that there could be a child or children out there that you know nothing about? And maybe they end up in a bad place? You may never know. That just seems so odd.

That is cool. I find you slightly fascinating! No regrets? (or is that besides the point now?)

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Anonymous wrote:Also, I think men are paid a paltry sum for their DNA at sperm clinics. That is atrocious.

It makes no sense. Their DNA is devalued because of the rapid mechanism that expels it? The bias that devalues male dna?

Everything is upside down in this industry. It’s also not fair to men either to have 50 half siblings as off spring.

1990s sperm donor here. It was a lot of money to me at the time - much more than I was making as a postdoc - and for something I was going to do anyway, lmao.

You guys are fascinating. I guess I should not be angry on your behalf. Maybe bc I’m a “boy mom.” I’m like Hey… (I told my sons not to donate). They are teens. LOL.

I think it's weird that guys would do this. Do they not think about how they have biological children in this world? These are your children. Are they never curious about how they turned out?

They have the option to reach out to me when they’re 18, so I know how some of them turned out - which was very well indeed.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think they tell you! I also think it’s the myth of the med student donor… do you think these medical students would do that ? Are they narcissists ? Egotists?

post doc man: are you in the scientific field ?

Engineering

Anonymous wrote:Jeff should highlight dumbest posts of the week in his blog. This one would win.

+1

Look at all the single men rushing to be SDBC!

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Anonymous wrote:

Do you think this may be connected to the fact that after marriage and baby they realize that their husbands have lied to them about the extent to which they expect their wife to do their (i.e. the husband's labor)?

No because married women lose interest in sex no matter how much work you do on the house and kids. You can be super-dad, it just doesn’t matter. Plenty of examples of sexless marriages among childless couples.

dp.. so, how do you explain sexless marriages where men are the ones who don't want sex?

Why do some men not want sex after being married a while? Let me guess.. when men don't want sex then it's because of stress or low T, but if women don't want sex it's because they lied, right?

Whenever this comes up on DCUM it is very common that he was always not very interested in sex, even before the marriage, and the woman just chose to ignore that. So he wasn’t dishonestly changing the deal like the women who insist before marriage that they will want lots of sex forever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Do you think this may be connected to the fact that after marriage and baby they realize that their husbands have lied to them about the extent to which they expect their wife to do their (i.e. the husband's labor)?

No because married women lose interest in sex no matter how much work you do on the house and kids. You can be super-dad, it just doesn’t matter. Plenty of examples of sexless marriages among childless couples.

You forgot about being a SUPER husband. You know telling your wife how much you love and appreciate her?

She doesn’t care. At that point anything nice you do is regarded as “fake” - you’re only doing it because you want sex.

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Anonymous wrote:No. (Straight) Men who are the type to actually put in the work and be hands-on parents are going to be able to find someone to have kids with. The difference is the men who want kids and a wife but don’t want to have to pull a second shift may not be able to find someone but they also won’t be willing to spend the money and time to parent solo.

They will still be able to find women to have babies with because they will lie about their interest and their willingness to do the work, as they have always done.

Well women lie about their interest and willingness to have sex after marriage, as they have always done, so this is fair enough.

dp.. I didn't lie about it. My body just decided it was too tired and stressed out to have sex.

Once the kids got older, and my stress level was reduced, we had a lot more sex.

I don't think men understand how stress and birth control pills kill a woman's libido.

The lie is what they tell you before marriage and during the early years, not when they decide they’re “tired” and don’t have to bother any more.

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Your Dh doesn’t match the biological norm of like 300,000 years of human and pre human(sic) behavior.

Do you have any proof to support this statement? And I mean scientifically supported evidence regarding the "biological norm" of 300,000 years of human and pre-human behavior.

+1 the vast majority of men do not want the actual physical responsibility of caring for children. I have stated on here many many times, most men should not have children. The only reason why they do is because the wives are willing to take on the burden. But that's changing. Look at the birth rates in most of the developed world. It's plummeting because modern women now have choices. If they really want to have children, they will do it on their terms.

This post is as stupid as the one that preceded it. You have no evidence to support the statement that the only reason why men have children is because wives are willing to "take on the burden." What about children born to unmarried women? What about unplanned pregnancies? Stating something stupid many times does not make it correct.

You can't be serious. I'm neither of those other posters, but what planet do you live on where the concept of "SAHD" or the father wanting actual responsibility for daily care of a child, is not relatively new as it relates to human history? You got any artist renderings of Ghenghis Khan in a baby sling? SOCIAL norms have changed, but whether human or animal kingdom, mothers were always responsible. The biological norm is the male wanting to spread their seed and continue their line. There are some examples of what you believe, but not many: Congrats on your husband being a seahorse.

Anonymous wrote:It seems like more women are going the SMBC (single mom by choice) route with sperm donors. So will more men turn to egg donors and surrogates to have kids?

No. 99.9% of single men do not want children. It's not in their DNA.