Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The board room is already mostly a thing of the past. My youngest DD shaves, my oldest college-aged DD can't be bothered, although I told her I thought she should shave for her summer job outdoors in customer service (her hair is very dark), so she shaves once a week. I know I probably shouldn't have told her my thoughts, but lots of the general public, and possibly even her supervisors, could look at hairy legs on a girl as not a clean look (same thing as beards on the boys, which she told me they did have some guidelines for beards for the boys). Of course, it's her choice, but I do think as her mom I should prepare her for what people might think, and what type of dress or grooming might be appropriate for different settings. She's a pretty naive young adult who thinks most people are as progressive as her friends are, and that anyone who's not is in the minority or is "wrong". As she transitions into the adult world and leaves her bubble, I am nervous she is in for a rude awakening.

Ick - you were wrong

If no one in middle school or high school are nothing her, do you think adults are going to frown on it. Like WTF cares.

I agree with the PPP. She was not wrong. It is not wrong to tell your kid how others might react and suggest they be prepared for that. That's parenting. I consider it GOOD parenting - guiding, preparing, but not demanding compliance with norms just for the sake of complying with norms. Allowing the child to make informed decisions and being prepared for potential consequences or reactions.
This isn't a matter of life and death. We're not talking about doing drugs or smoking or something.

Anonymous wrote:My 16 year old and all her friends shave. Not sure where all these hairy girls are…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The board room is already mostly a thing of the past. My youngest DD shaves, my oldest college-aged DD can't be bothered, although I told her I thought she should shave for her summer job outdoors in customer service (her hair is very dark), so she shaves once a week. I know I probably shouldn't have told her my thoughts, but lots of the general public, and possibly even her supervisors, could look at hairy legs on a girl as not a clean look (same thing as beards on the boys, which she told me they did have some guidelines for beards for the boys). Of course, it's her choice, but I do think as her mom I should prepare her for what people might think, and what type of dress or grooming might be appropriate for different settings. She's a pretty naive young adult who thinks most people are as progressive as her friends are, and that anyone who's not is in the minority or is "wrong". As she transitions into the adult world and leaves her bubble, I am nervous she is in for a rude awakening.

Ick - you were wrong

If no one in middle school or high school are nothing her, do you think adults are going to frown on it. Like WTF cares.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you might have to just accept something I love, which is that your DD just doesn't care what other people think. The idea of shaving everything, wearing nylons and slips, etc. is very dated. I'm very happy that girls today don't feel bound by these societal expectations. All of these things were promoted by men to make women more attractive to men. It's dumb and has no bearing on anything. Who cares if her legs aren't shaved? Whatever you've done raising her has made her independent and confident. Congrats.

Anonymous wrote:The board room is already mostly a thing of the past. My youngest DD shaves, my oldest college-aged DD can't be bothered, although I told her I thought she should shave for her summer job outdoors in customer service (her hair is very dark), so she shaves once a week. I know I probably shouldn't have told her my thoughts, but lots of the general public, and possibly even her supervisors, could look at hairy legs on a girl as not a clean look (same thing as beards on the boys, which she told me they did have some guidelines for beards for the boys). Of course, it's her choice, but I do think as her mom I should prepare her for what people might think, and what type of dress or grooming might be appropriate for different settings. She's a pretty naive young adult who thinks most people are as progressive as her friends are, and that anyone who's not is in the minority or is "wrong". As she transitions into the adult world and leaves her bubble, I am nervous she is in for a rude awakening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15yr old is blonde and only shaved her armpits and bikini area. Never the legs. She said today on the beach “you can really see my leg hair now that I am so tan” and then shrugged and went back to reading her book. She’s had a boyfriend for 7 months and it pretty girly girl.

It just doesn’t seem to be a thing she cares about and I love it

Curious - if she doesn't care about the leg hair, why does she care so much about the bikini line? That's the worst place to shave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It common. Shave when you feel like it, or not. It's not a "must-do" part of a shower routine like in the old days

Speak for yourself. It’s a choice but I don’t see too many teens in tank tops with hairy armpits. My niece identifies as non-binary and she doesn’t shave but I don’t think it’s common. It’s so simple to shave underarms in the shower. Legs can be annoying.

Are you bad at math and statistics? Teens who choose to wear tanks are also the ones who choose to shave. Often teens who do not shave do not wear tanks. Though some do. I'm going to take a shave break and let my pits free as an act of resistance.

Why wouldn’t teens who don’t shave not wear tanks?

Because they don't shave but are still self-conscious about it? And by not wearing tanks, they can still avoid the need to shave, something they just don't want to do for some reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It common. Shave when you feel like it, or not. It's not a "must-do" part of a shower routine like in the old days

Speak for yourself. It’s a choice but I don’t see too many teens in tank tops with hairy armpits. My niece identifies as non-binary and she doesn’t shave but I don’t think it’s common. It’s so simple to shave underarms in the shower. Legs can be annoying.

Are you bad at math and statistics? Teens who choose to wear tanks are also the ones who choose to shave. Often teens who do not shave do not wear tanks. Though some do. I'm going to take a shave break and let my pits free as an act of resistance.

Why wouldn’t teens who don’t shave not wear tanks?

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter shouldn't have to shave her legs and armpits if she doesn't want to. Women do too much to themselves to appease men and standards set by men. Meanwhile men walk around looking like hairy wildebeests and have stomachs that make them look 37 months pregnant but will still throw on a pair of swim trunks and splash like a whale into the pool. I would leave her alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:....among teen girls today? Mine is 16 and just doesn't want or see the need to. I think this may partially contribute to not wanting to wear skirts or dresses anymore, too? If that's just because she doesn't like dresses and skirts, or even shorts, anymore, fine; but if it's because of embarrassment about hairy legs, I'd like to know why/how to help address it.

If she were embarrassed wouldn’t she shave or whatever? My oldest and only girl just graduated from college. She very rarely shaves legs or underarms and was never into it. She’s very into fashion and sometimes wears elaborate makeup. Like me, she is fair and doesn’t have much hair, but she has said she wouldn’t change habits if she did. The only times she shaves or uses nair are if she’s going somewhere that she feels it would be upsetting to someone important to her. So for example, she will shave legs for a wedding, or if she’s doing something fancier with one set of grandparents. She generally DGAF what anyone thinks and does as she pleases.

I don’t think it’s about caring what other people think. I think it’s about basic grooming. I think it’s unattractive so I shave. I’m fair with no real hair on my legs but I shave under arms and it’s easy. You can dress fashionably with the best makeup but if you have hair coming out from under your arms it immediately downgrades the look. Same with grown men in tank tops. Nobody wants to see their underarms at a nice restaurant when you’re eating.

DP. I think what you say is reasonable, but I don't think this is about "basic grooming" but about what you find attractive, and what you find attractive is somewhat determined by when you grew up and what you saw around you. I also find it unattractive to have underarm hair so I shave. But norms change and the kids today see different standards. Heck, women used to find bare, unstockinged legs gross and inappropriate in the 1950s. Standards change.

So when these 15-year olds get office jobs will they care about hairy legs? How would the boardroom look like in 10-15 years?

Who knows. But surely standards will change and some will clutch pearls, because both change and pearl clutching has been going on since the dawn of time!