Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I have friends from all walks of life. Various ages, religions, races, ethnicities, gender identification, blue collar, white collar. Poor/ MC/ rich.., various politics. I like to mix it up and find people interesting regardless of who they are and where they're coming from. (I am a boomer). How about you OP?

How do you find these friends?

Do you include people you just have a passing acquaintanceship and talk to periodically when they come to fix your plumbing as a friend?

I don’t know about PP who is just touting the diversity of her friend group but I think most people have pointed out that their friends usually have some commonality with them — eg the queer poster who has mostly queer friends, the posters living in neighborhoods where the minority race are friends with the other moms, etc. Presumably people meet people who are different from them in some aspect by the dimensions that they have in common.

For example: I have Chinese and black friends from my college dorm assignment (points commonality: same age, university). I have friends ages 10-80 from my church (points of commonality: same religion). I have Jewish friends from my kid’s school (points of commonality: same age kids). Etc.

Mostly socialize with your own kind? That sounds kind of racist and intolerant. That would be like if black people mostly hung out with other black people and hispanics mostly hung out with other hispanics and gay people mostly hung out with other gay people and old people mostly hung out with other old people. Oh...wait. Hmmmm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I have friends from all walks of life. Various ages, religions, races, ethnicities, gender identification, blue collar, white collar. Poor/ MC/ rich.., various politics. I like to mix it up and find people interesting regardless of who they are and where they're coming from. (I am a boomer). How about you OP?

How do you find these friends?

Do you include people you just have a passing acquaintanceship and talk to periodically when they come to fix your plumbing as a friend?

DP with a diverse and varied social circle. I try not to say no. I’m open to people. I’m approachable. I extend invitations. I join groups. I take classes. I don’t let my kids dominate my social life. I don’t count service providers as friends, but if we get on well I don’t hesitate to invite someone along to an event or to grab coffee. I don’t try to find friends in a social climbing kind of way, so I’m not picky about choosing friends from a particlar background or income level. I don’t bean count, so I’m not worried if I invite someone more often than they invite me-assuming we get along and have a good time when we hang out. I don’t waste my free time on people I don’t like (unless it’s absolutely necessary) so I have more free time to spend with people whose company I enjoy.

Since Covid, I see my friends less frequently on an individual basis. I hope to see most of them quarterly, some more, some less. I’m not needy, so staying in touch by responding when someone reaches out or reaching out when it’s relevant along with doing something together in person every few months is enough for me.

Everyone’s time is precious so don’t be demanding. A lot of people are lonely, so don’t be afraid to reach out. When you find someone you like to be around, someone you click with, or someone with whom you share an interest, hit them up and see if they want to get to know you better too. It works more often than not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a white woman in my 40s. I socialize with white women in their 40s and 50s and their significant others who are men in their 40s and 50s for the most part. Professional class and all have college degrees and beyond. 95% are parents.

So, yes.

^ Also I live in Texas and Hispanic people are "white" here.

Hispanic is not a race. White Hispanic people are as white in DC or Minnesota as they are in Texas.

You are both employing transphobic hate-terms.

The correct and respectful terminology is LatinX. Do better!

I thought the punchline was that Texas is a transphobic hate term, but now I get that you’re just trying to be annoying. You’re doing great!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most people think they have diverse groups of friends but in reality they don’t. We live in a mostly Indian community and I’m not Indian. Would I like to be friends with them? Sure but it’s not worth the effort when they clearly would rather stay with their own race. People are not open to having other types of friends unless they HAVE to. If there were only a few Indian families in our community then I’m sure the other people would make an effort to include them but I can’t say the same when it’s reversed.

You will never be their friend. Ever. They only socialize with other Indians and even then discriminate.

Op here. I have noticed this but I can be friends with Bengali women! My husband is Bangladeshi and I do have Bengali women friends and I didn’t meet them through him. Since there are a lot of Indians that immigrant here I think they don’t have to put a lot of effort into making friends outside of their caste / state etc etc. even in my community they don’t all speak to each other. I thought it was South Indian vs North Indian but that’s not always the case. Even through all of this I don’t care too much because I don’t have a lot in common with them. They are polite to me and we do chat from time to time. It could be worse. I will say I have had Indian friends in other places we have lived but there wasn’t a large Indian community so they were more open to trying. Also I have friends who are south Asian and divorced. I no longer live in those cities but they were really sweet environment is everything .

Anonymous wrote:No I have friends from all walks of life. Various ages, religions, races, ethnicities, gender identification, blue collar, white collar. Poor/ MC/ rich.., various politics. I like to mix it up and find people interesting regardless of who they are and where they're coming from. (I am a boomer). How about you OP?

How do you find these friends?

Do you include people you just have a passing acquaintanceship and talk to periodically when they come to fix your plumbing as a friend?

Anonymous wrote:I think most people think they have diverse groups of friends but in reality they don’t. We live in a mostly Indian community and I’m not Indian. Would I like to be friends with them? Sure but it’s not worth the effort when they clearly would rather stay with their own race. People are not open to having other types of friends unless they HAVE to. If there were only a few Indian families in our community then I’m sure the other people would make an effort to include them but I can’t say the same when it’s reversed.

You will never be their friend. Ever. They only socialize with other Indians and even then discriminate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most people think they have diverse groups of friends but in reality they don’t. We live in a mostly Indian community and I’m not Indian. Would I like to be friends with them? Sure but it’s not worth the effort when they clearly would rather stay with their own race. People are not open to having other types of friends unless they HAVE to. If there were only a few Indian families in our community then I’m sure the other people would make an effort to include them but I can’t say the same when it’s reversed.

Look, it's not because you aren't Indian that they don't include you. They wouldn't include me either and I am Indian though one generation from when their families immigrated. I'm not their kind either and I'm speaking from experience.

Nah. All the Indians hang together. If that’s the case they would have a more diverse group. The dads are exactly the same. Anyway I don’t care anymore. I found Ukrainian mom and Korean mom. There aren’t any white moms in the neighborhood with kids around the same age. I’m the only white mom besides the Ukrainian mom that’s white. We make the best of it but still find it weird because what happens is our kids aren’t included in stuff since their parents are so buddy buddy.

I can say yes but it’s because I am a Muslim covert. Most of the time I hang with people who grew up in a totally different way from me.

No, I work at an organization that is predominantly POC, my best friend is Asian, I have three BILs who are Black, Latino and one from the ME. I am white as is my DH. I grew up in a diverse area.

Anonymous wrote:I think most people think they have diverse groups of friends but in reality they don’t. We live in a mostly Indian community and I’m not Indian. Would I like to be friends with them? Sure but it’s not worth the effort when they clearly would rather stay with their own race. People are not open to having other types of friends unless they HAVE to. If there were only a few Indian families in our community then I’m sure the other people would make an effort to include them but I can’t say the same when it’s reversed.

Look, it's not because you aren't Indian that they don't include you. They wouldn't include me either and I am Indian though one generation from when their families immigrated. I'm not their kind either and I'm speaking from experience.

I think most people think they have diverse groups of friends but in reality they don’t. We live in a mostly Indian community and I’m not Indian. Would I like to be friends with them? Sure but it’s not worth the effort when they clearly would rather stay with their own race. People are not open to having other types of friends unless they HAVE to. If there were only a few Indian families in our community then I’m sure the other people would make an effort to include them but I can’t say the same when it’s reversed.

I only socialize with my family and the people I grew up with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a white woman in my 40s. I socialize with white women in their 40s and 50s and their significant others who are men in their 40s and 50s for the most part. Professional class and all have college degrees and beyond. 95% are parents.

So, yes.

^ Also I live in Texas and Hispanic people are "white" here.

Hispanic is not a race. White Hispanic people are as white in DC or Minnesota as they are in Texas.

You are both employing transphobic hate-terms.

The correct and respectful terminology is LatinX. Do better!

Latinx is a made-up term that a certain segment is trying to impose on Hispanic/Latino people. Most actually Hispanic/Latino people do not prefer the term
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/05/who-is-hispanic/
53% prefer Hispanic
26% prefer Latino
2% prefer Latinx

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a white woman in my 40s. I socialize with white women in their 40s and 50s and their significant others who are men in their 40s and 50s for the most part. Professional class and all have college degrees and beyond. 95% are parents.

So, yes.

^ Also I live in Texas and Hispanic people are "white" here.

Hispanic is not a race. White Hispanic people are as white in DC or Minnesota as they are in Texas.

You are both employing transphobic hate-terms.

The correct and respectful terminology is LatinX. Do better!

Transphobic hate-terms?