Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here -- one more thing I forgot -- I told her I was headed out for a walk today on my lunch break. She flipped out and said, "no no no no! You can't do that! This is a retirement community. Only 65+ can use the walking paths or I get in trouble"

jfc.

omg. Also this can't be true. I'm sure guests are allowed on the walking paths.

Np. You're probably right but my mom gets weird about her family in their retirement community too. She acts like she's embarrassed about us. But it's true that she will hear about it if we do anything out of the ordinary. I've been there when another resident shushed us more than once. It's not the admin though, it's the overly fussy residents.

But I don't think it's fair for you to tell your mil she needs to be quiet in her own home all day so you can work. Life just doesn't work like that. You need a hotel.

No chance I would have agreed to this for starters. I wouldn't care about sleeping in the same bed as my DH but no way I would accept that my options were a pull out couch or an air mattress. Is a hotel really out of your budget? My ILs also keep their house so warm we refuse to stay overnight. My FIL tries to turn the thermostat down to 78 when we visit but MIL has dementia and is always cold and go bananas if anyone turns it down (from 80).

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think any of this sounds like a troll. Both my mother and my MIL are very easily chilled and they both keep their houses in the 80s. It is BRUTAL for longer than a few hours. Sleeping at either is just not an option anymore.

Same. I remember visiting my grandma when I was pregnant. I'd get so lightheaded and once I passed out from the heat. She'd keep it over 90 in the house, but she was also using actual heat, so it was very drying. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

OMG I would never let someone tell me I can't sleep in the same bed as my husband. Even the most conservative person on earth would say it's okay- you're married!

I would fly home and skip the weeding. Your husband can stay.

Anonymous wrote:I did ask Jeff to check if OP is a troll. As thread is still here, I guess she is not, or Jeff is away and not checking.

Nothing about this says “troll” to me. Count yourself lucky if you don’t have overly controlling/anxious older relatives! Because that’s like … all of my older relatives on both my and my husband’s sides … Any little weirdness you had about yourself gets magnified 100x in older age. The thing about the walking paths - she is an extreme rule follower - and therefore she takes the most restrictive views possible on any rules. Possibly also because it gives her an “out” not to think for herself about what her guests can do.

OMG just get a hotel

I don’t think any of this sounds like a troll. Both my mother and my MIL are very easily chilled and they both keep their houses in the 80s. It is BRUTAL for longer than a few hours. Sleeping at either is just not an option anymore.