Anonymous
05/22/2024 15:01
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:It actually is. Stay home if you can't handle people trying to be nice and polite to you. Please don't bring your negativity to others.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"
Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!
I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.
Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.
It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.
Consider that is much more self centered to think anyone cares about your opinion of their body. Wanting to just be left alone/unbothered is not really self centered at all.
Toxic positivity.
Can you imagine, a woman feels like crap, has PPD, everyone around her: YOU LOOK AMAAAAAAAAAAAAZING.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 15:00
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you just stay home? You sound anti-social and easily annoyed by people. I had a baby seven months ago and loved all the compliments!
You remind me of my mom when I complained about street harassment. "When you're old you'll look back fondly on it." Well I'm 40 and I'm still waiting.
Yeah street harassment by leering men and complimenting a post partum mom are totally the same thing.
It's exactly the same in that the harasser/complimenter feel their attention should be held with universal flattery.
No. I got compliments from people I chose to socialize with (and I believe them because yes I did lose the postpartum weight relatively quickly). I've been subjected to street harassment (lived in the mideast for years) and it is absolutely not the same.
Ok? And some people like random attention from strange men, like my mother. It's still not appropriate to shotgun spray uninvited comments about body appearance.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:59
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It actually is. Stay home if you can't handle people trying to be nice and polite to you. Please don't bring your negativity to others.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"
Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!
I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.
Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.
It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.
Consider that is much more self centered to think anyone cares about your opinion of their body. Wanting to just be left alone/unbothered is not really self centered at all.
+1 Not everyone needs to be social. Some people just aren't wired that way and that's why they take offense over common social norms.
Common social norms dictate you do not comment on another’s body, actually.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:59
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
You people are never happy.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:58
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It actually is. Stay home if you can't handle people trying to be nice and polite to you. Please don't bring your negativity to others.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"
Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!
I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.
Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.
It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.
Consider that is much more self centered to think anyone cares about your opinion of their body. Wanting to just be left alone/unbothered is not really self centered at all.
+1 Not everyone needs to be social. Some people just aren't wired that way and that's why they take offense over common social norms.
I re-read OP's post"
"I’m exhausted and struggling, so when you tell me I look amazing it feels weird because it doesn’t match how I feel.
It’s super awkward when people comment on my body."
Your comment is pretty gross, to be perfectly honest. "Just get over it, stop bothering me with your post-partum problems and pretend to be happy! More importantly, make *ME* feel better. If you don't you are the cause of depression."
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:53
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:It actually is. Stay home if you can't handle people trying to be nice and polite to you. Please don't bring your negativity to others.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"
Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!
I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.
Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.
It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.
Consider that is much more self centered to think anyone cares about your opinion of their body. Wanting to just be left alone/unbothered is not really self centered at all.
+1 Not everyone needs to be social. Some people just aren't wired that way and that's why they take offense over common social norms.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:51
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
It actually is. Stay home if you can't handle people trying to be nice and polite to you. Please don't bring your negativity to others.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"
Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!
I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.
Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.
It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.
Consider that is much more self centered to think anyone cares about your opinion of their body. Wanting to just be left alone/unbothered is not really self centered at all.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:50
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you just stay home? You sound anti-social and easily annoyed by people. I had a baby seven months ago and loved all the compliments!
You remind me of my mom when I complained about street harassment. "When you're old you'll look back fondly on it." Well I'm 40 and I'm still waiting.
Yeah street harassment by leering men and complimenting a post partum mom are totally the same thing.
It's exactly the same in that the harasser/complimenter feel their attention should be held with universal flattery.
No. I got compliments from people I chose to socialize with (and I believe them because yes I did lose the postpartum weight relatively quickly). I've been subjected to street harassment (lived in the mideast for years) and it is absolutely not the same.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:44
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"
Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!
I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.
Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.
It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.
Consider that is much more self centered to think anyone cares about your opinion of their body. Wanting to just be left alone/unbothered is not really self centered at all.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:35
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you just stay home? You sound anti-social and easily annoyed by people. I had a baby seven months ago and loved all the compliments!
You remind me of my mom when I complained about street harassment. "When you're old you'll look back fondly on it." Well I'm 40 and I'm still waiting.
Yeah street harassment by leering men and complimenting a post partum mom are totally the same thing.
They are symptoms of misogyny and the objectification of women, and ALSO expecting women and girls to take unwanted comments about their looks in stride and without complaint.
There's also the element of "Thank god you look superficially like you're holding to together so I won't have to: 1) offer help 2) have an uncomfortable conversation with your husband about stepping up 3) give unsolicited advice/observation that you don't look like you're coping 4) call CPS etc etc etc etc
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:32
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you just stay home? You sound anti-social and easily annoyed by people. I had a baby seven months ago and loved all the compliments!
You remind me of my mom when I complained about street harassment. "When you're old you'll look back fondly on it." Well I'm 40 and I'm still waiting.
Yeah street harassment by leering men and complimenting a post partum mom are totally the same thing.
It's exactly the same in that the harasser/complimenter feel their attention should be held with universal flattery.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:31
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you just stay home? You sound anti-social and easily annoyed by people. I had a baby seven months ago and loved all the compliments!
You remind me of my mom when I complained about street harassment. "When you're old you'll look back fondly on it." Well I'm 40 and I'm still waiting.
Yeah street harassment by leering men and complimenting a post partum mom are totally the same thing.
They are symptoms of misogyny and the objectification of women, and ALSO expecting women and girls to take unwanted comments about their looks in stride and without complaint.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:30
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"
Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!
I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.
Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.
It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.
Canned generic superficial comments are not "nice".
Why are you assuming that it is canned and generic? I would assume, if 10 people said it, that OP looks pretty good. On the other hand, I fully fully disagree with your premise. Try to bring good in the world. Compliment everyone you see. For most people, it brings a ton of joy. People like you are just there to make life harder for everyone, especially yourself. Learn to take a compliment. Then learn to give them. Frequently!
Because most people look like they got hit by a bus post partum.
I'm sorry, let me specify, a fat bus.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:30
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"
Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!
I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.
Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.
It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.
Canned generic superficial comments are not "nice".
Why are you assuming that it is canned and generic? I would assume, if 10 people said it, that OP looks pretty good. On the other hand, I fully fully disagree with your premise. Try to bring good in the world. Compliment everyone you see. For most people, it brings a ton of joy. People like you are just there to make life harder for everyone, especially yourself. Learn to take a compliment. Then learn to give them. Frequently!
Because most people look like they got hit by a bus post partum.
Anonymous
05/22/2024 14:23
Subject: Rant: “you look amazing”
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Thank you"
Then you realize that people are trying to be nice to you. You clearly don't deserve it. What a self-centered shrew!
I want to apologize. Now that I have read the other comments, I fully agree that you must be having some sort of post-partum issues and you should probably seek help. It is fully irrational to be offended by such a nice compliment. You should view your reaction as a red flag.
Perhaps you should view your knee jerk response to tell a post partum woman that she does not deserve kindness and is a "self-centered shrew" as a red flag and ALSO seek professional help.
It is a good point. I am just really upset about people who are so self-centered that they view common compliments as offensive. It not only brings negativity to the world in general, but it chills people from being nice. I hadn't considered that maybe the new mom was generally a wonderful person who appreciates people being nice to her but is currently suffering from mental illness.
Canned generic superficial comments are not "nice".
Why are you assuming that it is canned and generic? I would assume, if 10 people said it, that OP looks pretty good. On the other hand, I fully fully disagree with your premise. Try to bring good in the world. Compliment everyone you see. For most people, it brings a ton of joy. People like you are just there to make life harder for everyone, especially yourself. Learn to take a compliment. Then learn to give them. Frequently!
DP but I am very in favor of more compliments but also think it's good to steer clear of compliments about someone's body, as a rule. As this thread makes clear, some people like it and some people don't. You can be mad about this, but it won't change.
I think it's way better to pay a compliment like "aw, you are so good with him" or "I love that color on you" or something unrelated to their body or physical appearance. You are just less likely to offend. I know some people want the body compliments but to me it's not worth setting someone off or triggering some body image issues, so I just look for kind things to say that are unrelated to someone's body/physical appearance.
Okay, police the words and make the people trying to be nice the enemy. Some people are offended by everything. Ten people tried to be nice to OP. OPs response was fully negative and wanting to chill people from being nice. This constriction of communication is becoming the downfall of our society. This is exactly why there is more depression now than ever; people are being encouraged to be offended instead of complimented. It is a horrible way to live.