Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're doing the same exact thing OP. Judging this woman because her lifestyle and choices don't align with yours. Also why kind of misogynistic family did you grow up in that your saintly brother has no say or fault in any of this? You don't agree with how she's raising her kids. Are they not your brothers kids too?

This isn't true. SIL isn't talking about her opinions. She's talking about others. It's one thing to say you are raising your kids in the faith because it's important to you. It's another thing to say that people who don't are raising kids that are headed towards evil or are neglectful parents or something. Own your own choices, but stop judging others.

But the items listed in the OP are the SILs values and opinions. They are how she leads her life. So what if she thinks public school is "woke" as the reason her kids are in private school. She doesn't need to justify her opinions or lifestyle to OP. OP just doesn't have much in common with SIL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're doing the same exact thing OP. Judging this woman because her lifestyle and choices don't align with yours. Also why kind of misogynistic family did you grow up in that your saintly brother has no say or fault in any of this? You don't agree with how she's raising her kids. Are they not your brothers kids too?

This isn't true. SIL isn't talking about her opinions. She's talking about others. It's one thing to say you are raising your kids in the faith because it's important to you. It's another thing to say that people who don't are raising kids that are headed towards evil or are neglectful parents or something. Own your own choices, but stop judging others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're doing the same exact thing OP. Judging this woman because her lifestyle and choices don't align with yours. Also why kind of misogynistic family did you grow up in that your saintly brother has no say or fault in any of this? You don't agree with how she's raising her kids. Are they not your brothers kids too?

This isn't true. SIL isn't talking about her opinions. She's talking about others. It's one thing to say you are raising your kids in the faith because it's important to you. It's another thing to say that people who don't are raising kids that are headed towards evil or are neglectful parents or something. Own your own choices, but stop judging others.

Anonymous wrote:You're doing the same exact thing OP. Judging this woman because her lifestyle and choices don't align with yours. Also why kind of misogynistic family did you grow up in that your saintly brother has no say or fault in any of this? You don't agree with how she's raising her kids. Are they not your brothers kids too?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hm. It sounds like she is speaking generally about her personal values. I didn’t see any overt criticism of you in what you posted.

Maybe try not to take everyone’s personal opinions so seriously.

And I say this as someone whose older cousin told her, “I had a breast reduction and it really improved my quality of life. Do you want my doctor’s information?”

That was one of the least offensive things she’s ever said to me, but that’s an example of a passive aggressive offensive opinion sharing.

Well, I believe that when she says- over and over- that working moms aren't good moms (when she KNOW I work) she is being more than passive aggressive. No offence, but something like that for most would be a little more inflammatory than the comment you gave as an example.

Why does this bother you?

The topic of mothers working or not working is so tired. Just drop the rope and move onto something less charged. Why do you care what other people think?

If someone says "working moms aren't good moms" then that person isn't being passive aggressive, that person is being a jerk and is, quite frankly, wrong. For that statement to be true there would have to be zero working moms that are good moms in the world. The immediate PP is right- just ignore and move on. Stop giving credence to worthless opinions.

I bet she's not saying those words. That's what OP is hearing because she's insecure, but the SIL is saying something else. It's probably more along the lines of "I could never work because I'd miss out on too much" and OP is taking that personally.

No, that's not what she says. I know what she says, you know why? I am there when she she says it.

Then I guess she thinks you're a shit mom. Are you?

Nope. Not at all

You have options. Two are: go to dinner with some of your working mom friends and have some good eye rolls about this and move on or next time she says something, say “SIL, you know I am a working mom, so what you are saying hurts me,” but don’t say with expectation you will convince her your truth is her truth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a woman who I'd only say things like "oh I'm so glad that works well for you" or "I'm so glad you've found what works for your family" or "wow" or "huh" or some other random surface level platitude. If she made a dig at a working mother I might say "I'm not sure why you'd say that to me" but probably not.

If you don't engage in the conversation it will stop. You aren't ever going to WIN with her.

I agree with this, but I also understand the urge sometimes to come back at them because sometimes their behavior is so over the top rude and obnoxious that it would be very easy to just hold up a mirror and embarrass them in front of other people.

Like once a woman I know like this said just the absolute rudest possible thing about my child's school, which she knows is my child's school. And she said it in front of our kids. It was unreal, I couldn't believe an adult would be so lacking in social graces or self-awareness. It took all my inner strength to just smile and say "Oh I guess we all have different educational priorities" and then change the subject. It would have felt amazing for one minute to just absolutely destroy her and her ridiculous hyper-competitive attitude in front of her kid. But it also would have lowered me to her level. Plus likely led her to say even ruder things to me in front of my kid. Better to smile and offer a platitude, and then talk to my kid later about how to disregard that kind of garbage "insight" from other people. But it does require self control to be around people like this. They make it as hard as possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hm. It sounds like she is speaking generally about her personal values. I didn’t see any overt criticism of you in what you posted.

Maybe try not to take everyone’s personal opinions so seriously.

And I say this as someone whose older cousin told her, “I had a breast reduction and it really improved my quality of life. Do you want my doctor’s information?”

That was one of the least offensive things she’s ever said to me, but that’s an example of a passive aggressive offensive opinion sharing.

Well, I believe that when she says- over and over- that working moms aren't good moms (when she KNOW I work) she is being more than passive aggressive. No offence, but something like that for most would be a little more inflammatory than the comment you gave as an example.

Why does this bother you?

The topic of mothers working or not working is so tired. Just drop the rope and move onto something less charged. Why do you care what other people think?

If someone says "working moms aren't good moms" then that person isn't being passive aggressive, that person is being a jerk and is, quite frankly, wrong. For that statement to be true there would have to be zero working moms that are good moms in the world. The immediate PP is right- just ignore and move on. Stop giving credence to worthless opinions.

I bet she's not saying those words. That's what OP is hearing because she's insecure, but the SIL is saying something else. It's probably more along the lines of "I could never work because I'd miss out on too much" and OP is taking that personally.

No, that's not what she says. I know what she says, you know why? I am there when she she says it.

Then I guess she thinks you're a shit mom. Are you?

Nope. Not at all

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hm. It sounds like she is speaking generally about her personal values. I didn’t see any overt criticism of you in what you posted.

Maybe try not to take everyone’s personal opinions so seriously.

And I say this as someone whose older cousin told her, “I had a breast reduction and it really improved my quality of life. Do you want my doctor’s information?”

That was one of the least offensive things she’s ever said to me, but that’s an example of a passive aggressive offensive opinion sharing.

Well, I believe that when she says- over and over- that working moms aren't good moms (when she KNOW I work) she is being more than passive aggressive. No offence, but something like that for most would be a little more inflammatory than the comment you gave as an example.

Why does this bother you?

The topic of mothers working or not working is so tired. Just drop the rope and move onto something less charged. Why do you care what other people think?

If someone says "working moms aren't good moms" then that person isn't being passive aggressive, that person is being a jerk and is, quite frankly, wrong. For that statement to be true there would have to be zero working moms that are good moms in the world. The immediate PP is right- just ignore and move on. Stop giving credence to worthless opinions.

I bet she's not saying those words. That's what OP is hearing because she's insecure, but the SIL is saying something else. It's probably more along the lines of "I could never work because I'd miss out on too much" and OP is taking that personally.

No, that's not what she says. I know what she says, you know why? I am there when she she says it.

Then I guess she thinks you're a shit mom. Are you?

Nope. Not at all

Anonymous wrote:She sucks. Fell free to come here and vent about her whenever you want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hm. It sounds like she is speaking generally about her personal values. I didn’t see any overt criticism of you in what you posted.

Maybe try not to take everyone’s personal opinions so seriously.

And I say this as someone whose older cousin told her, “I had a breast reduction and it really improved my quality of life. Do you want my doctor’s information?”

That was one of the least offensive things she’s ever said to me, but that’s an example of a passive aggressive offensive opinion sharing.

Well, I believe that when she says- over and over- that working moms aren't good moms (when she KNOW I work) she is being more than passive aggressive. No offence, but something like that for most would be a little more inflammatory than the comment you gave as an example.

Why does this bother you?

The topic of mothers working or not working is so tired. Just drop the rope and move onto something less charged. Why do you care what other people think?

If someone says "working moms aren't good moms" then that person isn't being passive aggressive, that person is being a jerk and is, quite frankly, wrong. For that statement to be true there would have to be zero working moms that are good moms in the world. The immediate PP is right- just ignore and move on. Stop giving credence to worthless opinions.

I bet she's not saying those words. That's what OP is hearing because she's insecure, but the SIL is saying something else. It's probably more along the lines of "I could never work because I'd miss out on too much" and OP is taking that personally.

No, that's not what she says. I know what she says, you know why? I am there when she she says it.

Then I guess she thinks you're a shit mom. Are you?

Anonymous wrote:shes 100% right on everything but few are able to find a high earning husband to live this lifestyle

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hm. It sounds like she is speaking generally about her personal values. I didn’t see any overt criticism of you in what you posted.

Maybe try not to take everyone’s personal opinions so seriously.

And I say this as someone whose older cousin told her, “I had a breast reduction and it really improved my quality of life. Do you want my doctor’s information?”

That was one of the least offensive things she’s ever said to me, but that’s an example of a passive aggressive offensive opinion sharing.

Well, I believe that when she says- over and over- that working moms aren't good moms (when she KNOW I work) she is being more than passive aggressive. No offence, but something like that for most would be a little more inflammatory than the comment you gave as an example.

Why does this bother you?

The topic of mothers working or not working is so tired. Just drop the rope and move onto something less charged. Why do you care what other people think?

If someone says "working moms aren't good moms" then that person isn't being passive aggressive, that person is being a jerk and is, quite frankly, wrong. For that statement to be true there would have to be zero working moms that are good moms in the world. The immediate PP is right- just ignore and move on. Stop giving credence to worthless opinions.

I bet she's not saying those words. That's what OP is hearing because she's insecure, but the SIL is saying something else. It's probably more along the lines of "I could never work because I'd miss out on too much" and OP is taking that personally.

No, that's not what she says. I know what she says, you know why? I am there when she she says it.