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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Judging engagement ring size is very petty on the sliding scale of female pettiness.

When someone has a small stone, I assume they married young or had other priorities.

The larger rings used to be more indicative of something about the finances of the couple, but the advent of lab-grown diamonds makes it impossible to know. So now I just think those larger rings suggest a need to show off. But don't actually convey anything financial about the owner.

My local CVS has some decent-looking large diamond engagement ring knockoffs (odd that they sell them there...isn't it?).

Hmm. There is that smugness OP's mom referenced. I just think those larger rings suggest the wearer thinks gems are pretty and that they enjoy sparkling jewelry.

PP. There are lots of pretty sparkles that cost less than $10-20K. Which is the price point of the real rings in that category. I figured somebody would call me out for my comments but I'm pretty sure this size of ring, like driving a luxury car, is intended to be noticed/assessed by others. The people I know like this, the bride tells the groom what to buy. These are not spontaneously presented rings.

My ring was about 11k. The diamond isn't huge at all, but it isn't small either -- it has a 1.5 carat center stone. It isn't "intended to be noticed/assessed by others" at all. I like rocks, I always have, my grandfather was a geologist and my first science fair project in early elementary school was about geodes. Diamonds are beautiful to look at, as are rubies, sapphires, amethysts, opals, whatever. Your post? Well -- there is that judgment with smugness OP is asking about...

You got an 11K ring because you like rocks and geodes? And it had to be a diamond? You know they actually sell quartz engagement rings, right? I'm not smug. I just don't believe your reasoning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Judging engagement ring size is very petty on the sliding scale of female pettiness.

When someone has a small stone, I assume they married young or had other priorities.

The larger rings used to be more indicative of something about the finances of the couple, but the advent of lab-grown diamonds makes it impossible to know. So now I just think those larger rings suggest a need to show off. But don't actually convey anything financial about the owner.

My local CVS has some decent-looking large diamond engagement ring knockoffs (odd that they sell them there...isn't it?).

I know unmarried women in certain industries who buy those rings before they travel to conferences etc. in order to avoid being bothered.

An engagement or wedding ring is NOT a deterrent on business travel. They actually attract more men because they are looking for casual sex with others already in a relationship.

Yeah. Travel for work and sit at the bar in a hotel restaurant trying to eat a quiet dinner and gross men desperate for casual fun will come out of the woodwork -- wedding ring or not.

Go into the restaurant and eat there. People are not likely to visit you from another table to talk. But a bar is where a lot of lonely people strike up conversations, it's not a place for a "quiet dinner".

Sure it is. It’s for whatever PP wants it to be. She’s under no obligation to entertain anyone else. When men talk to me at the bar, I respond kindly but briefly. They get the picture.

Anonymous wrote:I judge women who don't keep up their appearance then cry that their husbands are disinterested or cheating. I empathize that we're all very busy and men shouldn't be so shallow but... Men are visual creatures - the solution is simple. You won't catch me at the grocery store looking disheveled, fat, or unmoisturized.

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Anonymous wrote:I only judge the women who have those big, honkin’ rocks on their fingers. Too showy for me.

Ok, so then maybe you're being smug because you think you're so cool that you don't need a big ring to show off.

Or maybe you're actually jealous because you want one. Be real with yourself here. It's anonymous.

DP - I judge the women who get moissanite or CZ giant honkers. They can't afford the price of a 4ct diamond but want people to think they can, so they get the fake one.

That said, I'd take a 4ct real diamond in a heartbeat! Get your sunglasses ready because I'd be blinding everyone

One of my friends has both real and fake "giant honkers". I can not tell the difference, nor can most people (queue the poster who claims they can here). She and her husband are both accomplished, yet quite down to earth. She really doesn't care if anyone has an opinion on what she wears or not, that is what I love about her, and that is one of the main reasons she is my friend. Y'all need to get your priorities straight and stop caring what the miserable harpies think.

If she doesnt care, why do you?

So you are mansplaining how women feel to other women? Wow what a loser lol. You do seem triggered.

No, I'm not going to carefully curate and edit posts on an anon forum, get over it. I will no longer be responding to you, you clearly don't even care what I have to say about the exact topic you asked me about.

Anonymous wrote:Calling "bullshit" and using personal insults certainly looks like it was triggering, apologies if that offended you.

Are you a certified psychiatrist or psychologist? If not, you do not have any idea what is triggering. I accept your apology.

No, I've never been in a physical fight. Not sure what that has to do with terms having a sexist connotation. I actually try not to use gendered insults (p***y, c**t, etc) as they are generally demeaning to women specifically. Nerd is not gendered. I'm sorry if you had a rough time growing up as a nerd, many wear it as a badge of honor these days but it wasnt always so easy.


Men are often called p***ies, and it is demeaning to apply this term to a man. Yes, nerd is gendered when used as an insult. I had a great childhood. My point was that you are not a man and cannot understand the dynamic of one man (or boy) insulting another such that it starts a fight. As men cannot understand specific themes that apply only to women, women (like you) should not explain to men what it feels like to be a man.

3 daughters is a lot! Too bad you didnt teach them to be girls girls, and instead perpetuated these sexist stereotypes and harmful reductive terminology.


You have no idea what I taught my daughters, and it is awful that you think you can tell me what I taught them. I did teach them to use the rules of English grammar when they right (a lesson you should have learned.)


I don't care much what you think of my writing. Your overuse of trite is perhaps trite in itself!

Anonymous wrote:

Calling "bullshit" and using personal insults certainly looks like it was triggering, apologies if that offended you.

Are you a certified psychiatrist or psychologist? If not, you do not have any idea what is triggering. I accept your apology.

No, I've never been in a physical fight. Not sure what that has to do with terms having a sexist connotation. I actually try not to use gendered insults (p***y, c**t, etc) as they are generally demeaning to women specifically. Nerd is not gendered. I'm sorry if you had a rough time growing up as a nerd, many wear it as a badge of honor these days but it wasnt always so easy.

Men are often called p***ies, and it is demeaning to apply this term to a man. Yes, nerd is gendered when used as an insult. I had a great childhood. My point was that you are not a man and cannot understand the dynamic of one man (or boy) insulting another such that it starts a fight. As men cannot understand specific themes that apply only to women, women (like you) should not explain to men what it feels like to be a man.

3 daughters is a lot! Too bad you didnt teach them to be girls girls, and instead perpetuated these sexist stereotypes and harmful reductive terminology.

You have no idea what I taught my daughters, and it is awful that you think you can tell me what I taught them. I did teach them to use the rules of English grammar when they right (a lesson you should have learned.)

I don't care much what you think of my writing. Your overuse of trite is perhaps trite in itself!

Writing poorly is a sign that the writer does not care what they are doing when writing. You seem to let your anger outweigh the need to edit your work.

I responded to you in good faith and tried to explain the sexist trope you asked about and why I try not to do the same thing. I didn't realize you were a man, going to mansplain my feelings and insult my children, writing and general life outlook.

Nerd is not a gendered insult. P***y is a gendered insult, and you only find it demeaning to men because it's a female term.

L-o-fucking-L to the bolded. Do you not see the irony of mansplaining my entire post about how I dont like putting women in boxes because of my experience as a woman and my girls' experience but yet saying I cant possibly grasp the experience of men? Are you this tone deaf? You have tried to say many times that I am wrong, that my own lived experiences are wrong, and that you know better.

No, I'm not going to carefully curate and edit posts on an anon forum, get over it. I will no longer be responding to you, you clearly don't even care what I have to say about the exact topic you asked me about.