Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 09:43     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:I work 45 hours a week and have a side gig that is another 10-12 hours a week, plus I am DIY renovating a house that is another 10 hours a week. And go to the gym three times a week. And cycle and tennis on weekends, twice a month each.

It's a lot but most people waste time surfing the internet and watching TV. I don't.


It also sounds like you don’t have kids. The physical and mental toll raising kids takes is quite different than the physical and mental toll of working out, playing sports, and doing a fun passion project that you can stop at any time with no consequences…
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 09:24     Subject: How do some people do so much?
I work 45 hours a week and have a side gig that is another 10-12 hours a week, plus I am DIY renovating a house that is another 10 hours a week. And go to the gym three times a week. And cycle and tennis on weekends, twice a month each.

It's a lot but most people waste time surfing the internet and watching TV. I don't.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 01:21     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People who are super productive, how do you do it? I have a relatively laid back job (fed government lawyer), but I have a ton of home and garden projects I would like to do as well as just spending more time with friends and family. I’m fine and happy in my career and nuclear family life but I know I could be doing so much more around the house. I need to declutter and fix my garden, do some small renovations and plan some larger ones, as well as work on personal projects like writing (just for myself, not to publish). I have the money to do it I just… don’t. All I do is my job, which is not terribly stressful, minimal exercise (about 30 mins most days, but I go through lazy periods), take care of my child who is in daycare and relatively easy, and cook. I've started to have a cleaner come one a week ever since having a child so my house is pretty clean but it could be so much nicer. I haven’t even hung pictures in the 8 years I’ve been living here! And my child’s nursery is just half done. Every night I plan on doing so many projects in the morning but then I do the bare minimum. It’s almost like I don’t have enough to do so I do nothing. How can I get out of this paralysis? My husband is very supportive and doesn’t really care and really picks up the slack for me in many ways but I feel so guilty. I’ve long suspected I have ADHD but even getting a diagnosis seems so overwhelming. How do I get out of this paralysis?



You do not have ADHD; you are simply lazy. Do not stress over what you aren’t getting done. Carry on as usual.


Correction: you do not have ADHD but neither are you lazy. You are just a normal human being who doesn’t feel a burning need to be “productive” at all times because the possibility of spending any time with your own thoughts (or lack thereof) is too much to bear…

Anonymous
Post 04/21/2024 00:25     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:People who are super productive, how do you do it? I have a relatively laid back job (fed government lawyer), but I have a ton of home and garden projects I would like to do as well as just spending more time with friends and family. I’m fine and happy in my career and nuclear family life but I know I could be doing so much more around the house. I need to declutter and fix my garden, do some small renovations and plan some larger ones, as well as work on personal projects like writing (just for myself, not to publish). I have the money to do it I just… don’t. All I do is my job, which is not terribly stressful, minimal exercise (about 30 mins most days, but I go through lazy periods), take care of my child who is in daycare and relatively easy, and cook. I've started to have a cleaner come one a week ever since having a child so my house is pretty clean but it could be so much nicer. I haven’t even hung pictures in the 8 years I’ve been living here! And my child’s nursery is just half done. Every night I plan on doing so many projects in the morning but then I do the bare minimum. It’s almost like I don’t have enough to do so I do nothing. How can I get out of this paralysis? My husband is very supportive and doesn’t really care and really picks up the slack for me in many ways but I feel so guilty. I’ve long suspected I have ADHD but even getting a diagnosis seems so overwhelming. How do I get out of this paralysis?



You do not have ADHD; you are simply lazy. Do not stress over what you aren’t getting done. Carry on as usual.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 20:42     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You have ADHD. You are my husband. So many projects he wants to do. Now that he's medicated he is starting to get to them. Slowly.


Why is everybody’s first reaction on most any issue on DCUM is either you have ADHD or need therapy?


+1. Many people (here in DMV especially) convince their therapists they have ADHD by regurgitating certain words or phrases as their symptoms; then they get the med boost they want.

However, not being 100% motivated 100% of the time is not ADHD. It is human to want to lay back and chill now and then, especially after working, rather than using every moment of spare time to "get something done." Even Marie Kondo accepted messiness in her life after having kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 15:18     Subject: How do some people do so much?
I'm a travel sports mom and I have a love hate relationship with it. I do love my kid is in it and believe ultimately it's a benefit - helps my kid in so many ways beyond just sports. With discipline, commitment, friendship in addition to actual playing of the sport. But I'll tell ta honestly - it's a toll for me in terms of the energy and time required on weekend games and tournaments and weekly practices! How people with multiple kids do it and why they happily do it like it's no big deal - now that I'm in awe of! I spend my entire weekends driving and even with carpool that's my second job during the week and I only have 1 kid in travel sports albeit another kid in other activities. If you saw me OP you would wonder how I do what I do. The real answer is there's no other way!!!
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 12:35     Subject: How do some people do so much?
I don’t see why this is a problem.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 12:28     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:Some people prioritize things differently. Is my husband thinking about decluttering the house? Hell no. Does he go to sleep thinking he wants to donate the clothes I put in bags in the truck of our car? Hell no. Does he think about signing up the kids for swimming lessons by the deadline? Hell no. Does he think about what vacation and where we will stay this summer? Hell no. You get the point. I have always been a high-energy person and still consider myself one, but kids wipe so much of your energy out. I wish I could be laid back and give less thought to organizing my house, but no one else will if I don't do the work.



Yep. All of this!
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 11:50     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Some people prioritize things differently. Is my husband thinking about decluttering the house? Hell no. Does he go to sleep thinking he wants to donate the clothes I put in bags in the truck of our car? Hell no. Does he think about signing up the kids for swimming lessons by the deadline? Hell no. Does he think about what vacation and where we will stay this summer? Hell no. You get the point. I have always been a high-energy person and still consider myself one, but kids wipe so much of your energy out. I wish I could be laid back and give less thought to organizing my house, but no one else will if I don't do the work.

Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 11:24     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:For those of you who are high energy/high productivity, how much TV do you watch?


We only have two streaming services. Maybe an hour or two once a week? Sometimes more when there’s a series we want to watch. But when I watch I’m also folding laundry or going through mail or something.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 11:05     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm super productive. I had to learn to be this way.

I realized there was never a right time or a perfect time or a time when I'd magically want to do something; you just have to do it without thinking about it.

My mental health is better when I'm busy and don't spend too much energy thinking about things. If I get working on something, I feel happier.

Do things right away before they pile up. Do the dishes, don't let them sit.

Break up projects (can apply to anything) into smaller jobs. Do things out of order if needed and do all the easy parts first.

Don't let co-workers waste your time.

Make use of down time to make phone calls for appointments and when you need to be on hold. Use drive time to make calls (Bluetooth, hands free).

Make lists of what you need to do and keep adding the activity to your list until you do it.

Get help for things you need help with.

Eliminate activities that you don't want to do. For me: gardening and yard work.

Block off time for what you need to do.
Batch errands together so you don't have to make several trips.

Accept that you won't have much time to sit around and be okay with that.

Rest when you need it too and be confident in your abilities.




This is pretty much exactly me. My husband calls it high motor.

I just don’t let myself sit still unless it’s time to relax. Otherwise my day is scheduled into chunks and I pick something off my to do list for each chunk of time.

Perhaps most important thing above - do not let others waste your time. For me, this means good meeting discipline. If a meeting is 30 minutes, I’m walking out at 31 minutes.


People who don’t know how to sit still drive me crazy.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 11:03     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:People who are super productive, how do you do it? I have a relatively laid back job (fed government lawyer), but I have a ton of home and garden projects I would like to do as well as just spending more time with friends and family. I’m fine and happy in my career and nuclear family life but I know I could be doing so much more around the house. I need to declutter and fix my garden, do some small renovations and plan some larger ones, as well as work on personal projects like writing (just for myself, not to publish). I have the money to do it I just… don’t. All I do is my job, which is not terribly stressful, minimal exercise (about 30 mins most days, but I go through lazy periods), take care of my child who is in daycare and relatively easy, and cook. I've started to have a cleaner come one a week ever since having a child so my house is pretty clean but it could be so much nicer. I haven’t even hung pictures in the 8 years I’ve been living here! And my child’s nursery is just half done. Every night I plan on doing so many projects in the morning but then I do the bare minimum. It’s almost like I don’t have enough to do so I do nothing. How can I get out of this paralysis? My husband is very supportive and doesn’t really care and really picks up the slack for me in many ways but I feel so guilty. I’ve long suspected I have ADHD but even getting a diagnosis seems so overwhelming. How do I get out of this paralysis?


Honestly, it sounds like the first step is being honest about whether you really want to be more productive, or whether it’s more that you feel you should be more productive. Obviously you know how to be productive since your life isn’t a mess. So it’s just a matter of if you really want to do these other things or not.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 10:50     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Stimulants.
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 10:06     Subject: Re:How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you physically fit? Some people have energy because they are in shape. Other people have motivation, enjoy checking things off a list and the feeling of accomplishment. The hardest part may just be getting started. Start with small tasks and work your way up.


+1. Some people act 20 years older than they are. Maybe they spend a lot of time around old people, I don't know. Life is better when you are healthy, and act healthy. I was quite sick in my younger years, and would have done anything to be all in at the time. I went above and beyond, and it made me more sick, unfortunately.

Essentially, some people are high energy, and some people are low energy. The latter tend to claim that they are "introverts", which is not the case, and completely separate. High energy people see low energy people as lazy.


Lol what?! Energy level and introversion are unrelated. And no, I don’t think low energy people are lazy. Sometimes I’m envious of their chill.

- high energy introvert who loves to spend the weekend doing a lot of the things on OP’s list (At home. Alone. With no one talking at me. It’s glorious.)


I did state that introversion and laziness are not related and "completely separate".

Separately, I do not understand people who act much older than they are. Get out and enjoy life!
Anonymous
Post 04/20/2024 09:58     Subject: How do some people do so much?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: I’ve long suspected I have ADHD but even getting a diagnosis seems so overwhelming. How do I get out of this paralysis?


Ha, OP... I read the title of this thread and thought "They have the opposite of ADHD"!

I finally got diagnosed, and got medication, and it's been so awesome. I remember before medication - I could basically do ONE thing on each weekend day. If I went grocery shopping, I really didn't have energy to do another thing that day. I admired my friends who could do something in the morning, then squeeze in something at 2, then do something else, PLUS do some chores, and THEN go out to the theater or whatever.

Now, doing one thing just doesn't wear me out.

Gosh - even small jobs like cleaning and setting up the coffee pot the night before, were too hard for me to do.


I feel the same. How does ADHD medication change things? Does it just give you more energy or is it something else? I'm just very confused because I just feel lazy but I don't quite think that's it.


I'm the PP you are responding to. As someone pointed out, ADHD medication (I take Concerta) is a stimulant, and stimulants will give anyone energy, so of course that's a part of it.

But for me, it was the long, never ending to do list that just wore me down. Being able to focus and get things done has helped energize mebecause each small task is no longer so intimidating.

Also, I wrote about this earlier on DCUM, I'll try to find it. When I take the meds, I now feel a little "click" of positve reinforcement when I complete even a small task. It's a small reward, for things like brushing my teeth, making the bed, paying a bill, picking a piece of garbage off the floor. I don't get that feeling when I'm off meds. I do things just because I have to do them but don't get a sense of accomplishment from doing them; it's more I am avoiding the pain I'll eventually feel if I don't do them. There's a big difference!