Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 18:38     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Anonymous wrote:OP, please get medical attention. You may need a sleep aid. But get carefully checked out physically. The feeling like you are dying and inability to sleep could have a serious physical cause.


Agreed. Feeling really, really awful and having trouble coping due to sleep deprivation are unfortunately common experiences. Feeling like you are dying is NOT. Be specific about this feeling, use those words, be persistent that you need to be evaluated physically.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 18:34     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
OP, please get medical attention. You may need a sleep aid. But get carefully checked out physically. The feeling like you are dying and inability to sleep could have a serious physical cause.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 18:26     Subject: Re:Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Anonymous wrote:OP you are at a tipping point if not already past it. Something physiological is occurring inside your body and you need a detailed exam and bloodwork to determine what is wrong. Your body is in a negative feedback loop and you need something to break it.

I agree with the ER and/or you need to call your OB and say I am feeling x y and z. It is not resolving. It is increasing. I am requesting evaluation immediately and he/she will most likely refer you to the ER. Be very clear that you are having physical symptoms. Because you are already on anxiety meds it will likely be viewed through psychiatric lens but I need you to be adamant about the doctors also looking for a physical reason and running a wide range of tests to err on the side of caution. It could very well be a mismatch on anxiety meds that can happen but you need to demand a full sweep.

Infection, low iron, thyroid issue- rule them out. Say you cannot continue like this - REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING OR NOT. DMER is a possibility, but it sounds like you are experiencing it all day/continuously and I dont know if DMER can manifest as such.

If your mother and wife are resistant please let them know that you are asking for help and feel as if rest/sleep are not sufficient for regaining function. If they refuse to help, you need to take yourself. Dont let your OB say give it 1-2 more days.





Op, please listen to this post and do what it advises. Don't worry about bottle feeding.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 18:25     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
PS. also - despite PPs saying this is not normal, it's actually incredibly common for new moms to have feelings and symptoms like this. I remember feeling like I had never felt so terrible in my entire life as I felt about a week into being a new mom. I felt physically terrible from the birth, I was exhausted and stressed about breastfeeding and experiencing major anxiety. I think PPs are saying instead that it's important that you get help from your doctor and also a therapist/psychiatrist. Also more moms feel this way than you might think. It's a hard transformation into motherhood. You're just at the hardest part right now - hang in there.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 18:18     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My wife and mom are helping me but I cannot sleep even when given the opportunity. Both also need sleep and night is when it’s the worst with cluster feeding. Mt wife is pushing me not to try the bottle till 2 weeks per our LCs advice.


So much of this advice is so overblown. Give a bottle if you need to! I'm saying this as someone who breastfed for two years.


+1 and I breastfed 5 kids. Screw your LC that is total BS.


And there's actually good evidence that some bottle feeding early on doesn't make a difference in breastfeeding long term. And in your case, it might actually help you breastfeed longer. Your wife really needs to support you better. Could she find a night nurse or help? Call in a friend or family member to do the night shift if you can't find paid help?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6547125/
https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2013/05/105831/early-formula-use-helps-some-mothers-breastfeed-longer
"But in the first randomized trial of its kind, researchers at UC San Francisco have found that giving small amounts of formula in the first few days of life to infants experiencing high levels of early weight loss actually can increase the length of time their mothers end up breastfeeding."
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 18:16     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
OP, please call the Postpartum Support International hotline and talk to someone who can get you connected to get some help. They may be able to help you sort through what are physical symptoms that need to get checked out vs. what might be the sleep deprivation and anxiety. There are counselors in the DC area that are active in this group.

I had PPD as well as extreme anxiety and insomnia with my first so I've been there. Hang in there and I hope you feel some relief soon.

https://www.postpartum.net/
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 15:25     Subject: Re:Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Formula feed. Now. Sleep. Get some kind of sleep aid. Your wife can take care of the baby.

Get labs to rule out anything that might imminently kill you. Insist on them.

But yes, my body reacted in a similar way to a misrepaired tear and a broken tailbone (nausea, no sleep, heart palpitations, swelling everywhere). Once you’ve ruled out anything that could put you in imminent danger, It’s going to be a long road back. Even with pelvic floor PT, unfortunately. Have you booked in with a urogyn to see if you have a missed 3rd or 4th degree tear? The bowel incontinence could indicate that.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 14:56     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My wife and mom are helping me but I cannot sleep even when given the opportunity. Both also need sleep and night is when it’s the worst with cluster feeding. Mt wife is pushing me not to try the bottle till 2 weeks per our LCs advice.


So much of this advice is so overblown. Give a bottle if you need to! I'm saying this as someone who breastfed for two years.


+1 and I breastfed 5 kids. Screw your LC that is total BS.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 14:52     Subject: Re:Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you are at a tipping point if not already past it. Something physiological is occurring inside your body and you need a detailed exam and bloodwork to determine what is wrong. Your body is in a negative feedback loop and you need something to break it.

I agree with the ER and/or you need to call your OB and say I am feeling x y and z. It is not resolving. It is increasing. I am requesting evaluation immediately and he/she will most likely refer you to the ER. Be very clear that you are having physical symptoms. Because you are already on anxiety meds it will likely be viewed through psychiatric lens but I need you to be adamant about the doctors also looking for a physical reason and running a wide range of tests to err on the side of caution. It could very well be a mismatch on anxiety meds that can happen but you need to demand a full sweep.

Infection, low iron, thyroid issue- rule them out. Say you cannot continue like this - REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING OR NOT. DMER is a possibility, but it sounds like you are experiencing it all day/continuously and I dont know if DMER can manifest as such.

If your mother and wife are resistant please let them know that you are asking for help and feel as if rest/sleep are not sufficient for regaining function. If they refuse to help, you need to take yourself. Dont let your OB say give it 1-2 more days.




Even if it is anxiety, if she is getting literally 1 hour a sleep at a time she could kick into post partum psychosis


Correct, which is why I added the part about the mom/wife/OB. She needs to be checked out today. So that the cascade does not further go into PPP.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 14:12     Subject: Re:Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP you are at a tipping point if not already past it. Something physiological is occurring inside your body and you need a detailed exam and bloodwork to determine what is wrong. Your body is in a negative feedback loop and you need something to break it.

I agree with the ER and/or you need to call your OB and say I am feeling x y and z. It is not resolving. It is increasing. I am requesting evaluation immediately and he/she will most likely refer you to the ER. Be very clear that you are having physical symptoms. Because you are already on anxiety meds it will likely be viewed through psychiatric lens but I need you to be adamant about the doctors also looking for a physical reason and running a wide range of tests to err on the side of caution. It could very well be a mismatch on anxiety meds that can happen but you need to demand a full sweep.

Infection, low iron, thyroid issue- rule them out. Say you cannot continue like this - REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING OR NOT. DMER is a possibility, but it sounds like you are experiencing it all day/continuously and I dont know if DMER can manifest as such.

If your mother and wife are resistant please let them know that you are asking for help and feel as if rest/sleep are not sufficient for regaining function. If they refuse to help, you need to take yourself. Dont let your OB say give it 1-2 more days.




Even if it is anxiety, if she is getting literally 1 hour a sleep at a time she could kick into post partum psychosis


Can and WILL. This happened to me after 3 months of surviving on 1-2 broken hours of sleep per night. Almost went Lindsay Clancy on myself and baby and tried to take my husband into surrendering baby at a fire station.

Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 13:17     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Hope you are ok, OP. Just wanted to chime in to say that this is not a normal experience. Postpartum does come with pain but not like what you are experiencing.

It is absolutely ok to use formula to preserve your health. 100%, a-ok. That is what is for!

For what it's worth, my mother used formula for all three of her kids. We're totally fine, well adjusted professionals with families and careers.

Take care of yourself.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 13:06     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Anonymous wrote:My wife and mom are helping me but I cannot sleep even when given the opportunity. Both also need sleep and night is when it’s the worst with cluster feeding. Mt wife is pushing me not to try the bottle till 2 weeks per our LCs advice.


I don’t think this is really based on anything. You can pump those feeds if you’re worried about your supply but it doesn’t have to be at the exact same time as nursing, you can shift things a bit to try and get a longer stretch of rest. Anecdotally I supplemented with both in the first few weeks and they both ended up being great nursers on 100% breastmilk. I know more babies that refused bottles when they were never given one until they were a lot older (like starting daycare at 3-4 months). Good luck op. Agreed that further checkout/work up would be a good idea.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 12:42     Subject: Re:Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Anonymous wrote:OP you are at a tipping point if not already past it. Something physiological is occurring inside your body and you need a detailed exam and bloodwork to determine what is wrong. Your body is in a negative feedback loop and you need something to break it.

I agree with the ER and/or you need to call your OB and say I am feeling x y and z. It is not resolving. It is increasing. I am requesting evaluation immediately and he/she will most likely refer you to the ER. Be very clear that you are having physical symptoms. Because you are already on anxiety meds it will likely be viewed through psychiatric lens but I need you to be adamant about the doctors also looking for a physical reason and running a wide range of tests to err on the side of caution. It could very well be a mismatch on anxiety meds that can happen but you need to demand a full sweep.

Infection, low iron, thyroid issue- rule them out. Say you cannot continue like this - REGARDLESS OF WHETHER YOU ARE BREASTFEEDING OR NOT. DMER is a possibility, but it sounds like you are experiencing it all day/continuously and I dont know if DMER can manifest as such.

If your mother and wife are resistant please let them know that you are asking for help and feel as if rest/sleep are not sufficient for regaining function. If they refuse to help, you need to take yourself. Dont let your OB say give it 1-2 more days.




Even if it is anxiety, if she is getting literally 1 hour a sleep at a time she could kick into post partum psychosis
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 11:38     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
Anonymous wrote:How is your heart rate? Are you retaining a lot of water? Does your breathing feel OK ? I felt exactly like this and ended up back in the hospital with bradycardia, elevated liver enzymes and edema. I will never forget the certainty that there was something really wrong and I was going to die. The doctor thought I was going to fight against being admitted but I thanked her, because I was so frightened.

Fk breast-feeding. Protect your health.


+1

There seems to be two different tracks of opinion on this thread. It may be nothing more than common things some of the posters who keep saying you just need more sleep are saying, but there is no harm in making sure something worse is not happening within your body.

Once you've checked on that, it will give you some peace of mind.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2024 10:58     Subject: Normal to feel like you’re dying after birth?
How is your heart rate? Are you retaining a lot of water? Does your breathing feel OK ? I felt exactly like this and ended up back in the hospital with bradycardia, elevated liver enzymes and edema. I will never forget the certainty that there was something really wrong and I was going to die. The doctor thought I was going to fight against being admitted but I thanked her, because I was so frightened.

Fk breast-feeding. Protect your health.