Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 15:20     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
I have the same problem with my son. The phone is too tempting for most adults let alone teens. We ended up taking away the phone for long periods of time and that helped. But unfortunately there is not a really great solution. The truth is that some kids are just not mature enough handle highschool and technology. He got into a good college with a good scholarship but it was a major pain to deal with the tech issues - it put a major strain on my relationship with him and my wife. One tip I wish I had followed is that the parents really need to make the ultimate decisions regarding classes. We let my son choose his classes and he always chose the hardest APs . This was a terrible mistake for him it made the end of every quarter a mad dash to get him to turn in all of his assignments. You know your kids better than anyone else including themselves- if he can’t handle it it’s got to go. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 12:36     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's amazing how parents these days can twist any situation to place the blame on the teachers. Good luck in college!


Are college professors going to call parents about a college student’s behavior?


Here is a pro tip: teachers DO NOT want to call you. If we are calling it is because your kid is doing something that ultimately negatively impacts their own academics and if it looks like your kid might fail because of it, we are required to contact you. If it gets to the point we are calling, when we do not want to have to do that, it means we have exhausted all the interventions, redirections, strategies available to us as the teacher and it’s now at a level where YOU, the parent, who has more available interventions and strategies to use with your child that we do not, need to be aware and taking action.

Don’t get annoyed that we’re calling you. Understand that it means we have absolutely done what we can on our end and it’s now time for you to pick up the baton. Or, failing that, at least you have been made aware so that when your kid ultimately does get that F, you can’t claim “nobody told me” and blame us for not telling you so you could help.


+1. Is this public or private school? If it’s public and the teacher is calling you whatever they are telling you about his behavior is probably a thousand times worse. Not to mention that his behavior is disruptive to other students who actually want to learn. I have a teen and tween and they both have phones. I’ve never had an issue with behavior. In fact, I have had teachers reach out to me tell me that they enjoy having my kids in their classes. The difference? My kids would have lost all phone privileges for a month after the first phone call. They know very well that if their grades drop or if they cause any kind of disruption in the classroom the phones are gone. I use parental controls consistently. I monitor screen time consistently. I review grades consistently. I review homework consistently. Do your job and parent.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 12:26     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The calls we received were from 3 separate teachers over 1.5 years. They all had the same theme- messing around, not paying attention, ignoring directions, talking, distracted. He is also not failing, he is a B/C student and got a D in chemistry. I don't think the situation is as dire as some PP's interpreted it to be.

We have since installed an app that allows us to lock down his phone and monitor everything.

I agree with everyone about possible ADHD or depression.


If he has a VPN installed already, that means he know how to work any apps that allows you to "locK and monitor everything" on the phone. VPNs pretty much bypass that. Believe me I learned that while trying to "supervise" our teens activity online.

Also, if I had 3 calls from 3 different teachers I would not only take away the phone completely but I would be calling the school and requesting a meeting with the counselor and my kid.

Unless your kid has had a history of not following directions and being disruptive, do not confuse plain bad behavior with ADHD or depression.



Do they even have meeting? I wanted to have a meeting with all my teachers kid at the end of the semester, and they asked me for the reason. Since my DC had all A and Bs, and no behavior issues, they told me they didn't have time for a meeting...
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 12:18     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Anonymous wrote:The calls we received were from 3 separate teachers over 1.5 years. They all had the same theme- messing around, not paying attention, ignoring directions, talking, distracted. He is also not failing, he is a B/C student and got a D in chemistry. I don't think the situation is as dire as some PP's interpreted it to be.

We have since installed an app that allows us to lock down his phone and monitor everything.

I agree with everyone about possible ADHD or depression.


If he has a VPN installed already, that means he know how to work any apps that allows you to "locK and monitor everything" on the phone. VPNs pretty much bypass that. Believe me I learned that while trying to "supervise" our teens activity online.

Also, if I had 3 calls from 3 different teachers I would not only take away the phone completely but I would be calling the school and requesting a meeting with the counselor and my kid.

Unless your kid has had a history of not following directions and being disruptive, do not confuse plain bad behavior with ADHD or depression.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 11:50     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Take the phone away, what is the issue here?
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 11:48     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Give him a flip phone only for emergencies. Problem solved.

And read advice from Jonathan Haidt:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/23/business/jonathan-haidt-smartphones-coddling.html

Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 11:45     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Anonymous wrote:I am baffled by the parents who think the teacher should come up with an idea to redirect their child. This is lazy-a$$ parenting. In an earlier post, I recommended you spend a few days in school with your child. If they act like a 3 year old, treat them that way.


+10000
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 11:45     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Anonymous wrote:The calls we received were from 3 separate teachers over 1.5 years. They all had the same theme- messing around, not paying attention, ignoring directions, talking, distracted. He is also not failing, he is a B/C student and got a D in chemistry. I don't think the situation is as dire as some PP's interpreted it to be.

We have since installed an app that allows us to lock down his phone and monitor everything.

I agree with everyone about possible ADHD or depression.


If he is in public school with those grades he is essentially failing....WAKE UP!
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 11:32     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We are in public and not MCPS. Our school allows phones, but they need to be put away.

I wouldn't want to take the phone because if there is a school shooting, I don't want to be in that position. The unfortunate mindset of a public school parent, unfortunately.

Thank you to everyone who suggested a dummy phone or a text/call phone only. I think we're going to start here.

How do we get him to understand how rude this behavior is? Grades are grades, he will pass or fail, but we want to make sure he is a good human.


You know the phone is a problem. And yet you refuse to remove the phone from the equation because of a highly unlikely scenario. Nevermind that if that happened, your son would be the last to know since he’d be so distracted by his earbuds and phone to notice right away.

You’re contributing to the problem, not addressing it. The phone cannot be more important than your child’s mental health and wellbeing, which he is showing you through his poor grades and disconnection is impacting him greatly.


AMEN!!!! Parents, stop using highly unlikely scenarios as a reason your kid should have a phone. So dumb!!!
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 11:31     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Anonymous wrote:To the mad parent that said teachers need to take it. We are not allowed to take a students property and hold on to it. This is legally not allowed. This has nothing to do with the teacher, admin or county. Now back to OP… your child is disrespectful and a freaking brat. Your child does not need a phone, he needs to be put in his place. He does not need air buds. Take it all away. He should not use it at home either. Be authoritative. Be a parent. His little disrespectful self needs you, his momma, to sit in on his classes until he can demonstrate that he is human enough to interact with adults in a respectful way.


+10000

i am reading all of these responses and cannot believe how many parents are being so soft. I would be livid to receive one phone call let alone three. No phone, no ear buds. I have a 10th 9th and 6th and they beg for ear buds. I say no exactly for this reason. They only want them because so many kids have them in their ears trying to be cute. No sir, not today!
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 11:21     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
I am baffled by the parents who think the teacher should come up with an idea to redirect their child. This is lazy-a$$ parenting. In an earlier post, I recommended you spend a few days in school with your child. If they act like a 3 year old, treat them that way.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 11:11     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
The calls we received were from 3 separate teachers over 1.5 years. They all had the same theme- messing around, not paying attention, ignoring directions, talking, distracted. He is also not failing, he is a B/C student and got a D in chemistry. I don't think the situation is as dire as some PP's interpreted it to be.

We have since installed an app that allows us to lock down his phone and monitor everything.

I agree with everyone about possible ADHD or depression.
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 10:19     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It might not be his fault, School were closed for two years, and they want kids to act like nothing happened. It might have something to do with the school closer, and he might still think he is the same grade it was when they decided to closed down for two years. The kids are acting out because they don't know how to act or if they are going to be shut down again.


This post is "reaching!"


That post is just plain ignorant!
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 10:11     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
I am honestly, scared for the future. My DS X girlfriend was suspended for fighting this girl because he was talking to her... ( I am not sure what happened.) but it somewhat crazy what's going on in schools now..
Anonymous
Post 04/03/2024 09:28     Subject: Teacher called...for a third time
Anonymous wrote:It might not be his fault, School were closed for two years, and they want kids to act like nothing happened. It might have something to do with the school closer, and he might still think he is the same grade it was when they decided to closed down for two years. The kids are acting out because they don't know how to act or if they are going to be shut down again.


This post is "reaching!"