Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not sure why posters are missing the point that OP is saying her daughter feels slighted for never being invited over to friends house.
Frankly, I wonder if the bff hasn't already confided in daughter, but told the daughter you can't tell anyone, and she has honored that.
OP, is your daughter upset, or is it just you who are tired of always hosting. And you seem to do a lot of work for it. That is great, except for the fact that you resent it. Let the girls figure out what to do on their own.
Yes, she often asks why can’t I go to their house or sleep over there? I feel she is missing out on learning how to be a gracious guest, how to interact with others in their home, and manage herself without one of her parents for a night. These are milestones IMO she should get to experience as well.
-OP
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not sure why posters are missing the point that OP is saying her daughter feels slighted for never being invited over to friends house.
Frankly, I wonder if the bff hasn't already confided in daughter, but told the daughter you can't tell anyone, and she has honored that.
OP, is your daughter upset, or is it just you who are tired of always hosting. And you seem to do a lot of work for it. That is great, except for the fact that you resent it. Let the girls figure out what to do on their own.
Yes, she often asks why can’t I go to their house or sleep over there? I feel she is missing out on learning how to be a gracious guest, how to interact with others in their home, and manage herself without one of her parents for a night. These are milestones IMO she should get to experience as well.
-OP
Well, in light of this important update, I think you should tell your DD that her Bestie is not a suitable friend because she is not fulfilling the obligations laid out above, and she should move on to other friends.
If OP’s kid only has one friend perhaps they should work on making a second before they torch this relationship.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not sure why posters are missing the point that OP is saying her daughter feels slighted for never being invited over to friends house.
Frankly, I wonder if the bff hasn't already confided in daughter, but told the daughter you can't tell anyone, and she has honored that.
OP, is your daughter upset, or is it just you who are tired of always hosting. And you seem to do a lot of work for it. That is great, except for the fact that you resent it. Let the girls figure out what to do on their own.
Yes, she often asks why can’t I go to their house or sleep over there? I feel she is missing out on learning how to be a gracious guest, how to interact with others in their home, and manage herself without one of her parents for a night. These are milestones IMO she should get to experience as well.
-OP
Anonymous wrote:DD has had same bestie since kindergarten- they are now tweens. Besties mom was diagnosed with early stage cancer a few years ago. She is in remission and doing well. Problem is ever since she has used her diagnosis as an excuse to never host, like ever. She has always said she has to “prioritize herself and lower her stress.” Totally get it but it’s now been YEARS….its been years of never inviting my child to anything, never has her over, no sleepovers at their house, nothing. So for the past two years, I have picked up her child, taking her places paid for everything, had her for countless sleepovers, I’m the one always suggesting fun things they can do, facilitating activities or the meeting somewhere neutral. I adore her child and I don’t want my daughter to suffer from not seeing her best friend because of the mom’s lack of effort. To make matters worse, she does not want me to tell my daughter her diagnosis, which I have always honored. So I can’t even give my daughter a reason why there is no reciprocation from her best friend’s family to invite her to anything. I feel like I’ve waited it out long enough, and I think I need to say something for the sake of my child just feeling straight up slighted at this point.
I’m close with the mom but have become less close to her through this process while I’m just giving her space to “prioritize herself and lower her stress.”
How would you all proceed?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not sure why posters are missing the point that OP is saying her daughter feels slighted for never being invited over to friends house.
Frankly, I wonder if the bff hasn't already confided in daughter, but told the daughter you can't tell anyone, and she has honored that.
OP, is your daughter upset, or is it just you who are tired of always hosting. And you seem to do a lot of work for it. That is great, except for the fact that you resent it. Let the girls figure out what to do on their own.
Yes, she often asks why can’t I go to their house or sleep over there? I feel she is missing out on learning how to be a gracious guest, how to interact with others in their home, and manage herself without one of her parents for a night. These are milestones IMO she should get to experience as well.
-OP
Well, in light of this important update, I think you should tell your DD that her Bestie is not a suitable friend because she is not fulfilling the obligations laid out above, and she should move on to other friends.
Anonymous wrote:I don’t bean count. Maybe that’s part of why my kids have lots of friends. We have lots of fun. It’s not fun having a mom who goes through life with a face that looks like she’s sucking on lemons, whining about life not being “fair.”
Imagine a healthy person complaining about someone who went through cancer, playing the “it’s not FAIR” card. FFS. Grow up, OP. You sound like a nightmare.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not sure why posters are missing the point that OP is saying her daughter feels slighted for never being invited over to friends house.
Frankly, I wonder if the bff hasn't already confided in daughter, but told the daughter you can't tell anyone, and she has honored that.
OP, is your daughter upset, or is it just you who are tired of always hosting. And you seem to do a lot of work for it. That is great, except for the fact that you resent it. Let the girls figure out what to do on their own.
Yes, she often asks why can’t I go to their house or sleep over there? I feel she is missing out on learning how to be a gracious guest, how to interact with others in their home, and manage herself without one of her parents for a night. These are milestones IMO she should get to experience as well.
-OP
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You decide how much you are willing to host. You do that. You tell your daughter that not everyone is the same and some families just do not have the energy to host.
How is that fair? Hosting can be as simple as picking up my child and having her Accompany them to Chick-fil-A dinner one night. Or drop them off at a movie and then pick them up and bring my child home. That is not exerting energy “hosting” - that’s just being polite to reciprocate.
-OP
What gave you the impression that life was going to be fair?