Anonymous wrote:I really thought this thread was going to be about a 2yo -- having a sick toddler at home with nonstop daycare illnesses and trying to work amidst their endless needs.

I was expecting something like cancer, a severe disability, or something truly disabling/life-limiting.

This is unhinged.

Given you work from home, the idea that you have to take the day off so you can sit and talk with a 12 year old who has cold symptoms or allergies or a bit of a virus is ridiculous.

It sounds like there is a real codependency here. Likely if you weren't giving her 100% undivided attention any day she is off, she wouldn't need to stay home so often.

Likely your husband is aware of this unhealthy dynamic and not supportive of you taking days off to hand her tissues when she sniffles or to sit with her all day when there is no clear need to do so. A pre-teen does not need someone sitting beside them all day because they have a cold. You are martyring yourself for no reason, and this all sounds very unhealth.

Your husband may also have assessed your daughter to be much healthier than the sick role you have given her that allows you this level of codependency.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She has really been sick yesterday and today, not just the sore throat, but cauching, sneezing, nose congestion, etc.

I used to pretend to do this to get out of school when I was facing some mean girl bullies. If she’s watching Tv or Tiktok all day, she’s not really sick

Mistake #1 spending too much for a house with too little a down payment and not enough income. Just sell the house and move in to something smaller or cheaper. Rent if you need to. Problem solved. You're welcome.

Anonymous wrote:OP. Unfortunately I cannot reduce my workload, because we need my income. We recently bought a house, and our mortgage is very high.

I really thought this thread was going to be about a 2yo -- having a sick toddler at home with nonstop daycare illnesses and trying to work amidst their endless needs.

A child missing that much school would be investigated by CPS for truancy.

What are these virus symptoms that require so much nursing care in a 12yr old? My 7 yr old can lay on the couch with a book and a bucket and let me get work done when he is puking.

Does she have anxiety? Do you two have some weird codependent dynamic where she can’t separate from you and/or you let her stay home at the smallest sniffle because you are subconsciously sabotaging your work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She has really been sick yesterday and today, not just the sore throat, but cauching, sneezing, nose congestion, etc.

She can go to school with these symptoms

I think we've determined that OP is a dramatic idiot.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She has really been sick yesterday and today, not just the sore throat, but cauching, sneezing, nose congestion, etc.

She can go to school with these symptoms

Have her wear a mask, and send her to school. The mask will protect the other kids from catching her cold, and it will protect her from catching so many viruses, plus shield her from allergies. And if she is home with a cold, let her entertain herself.

Anonymous wrote:I do not think you have to stay home every time with a 12:year old with cold/allergies. A high fever and vomiting is a different story. Go to work,be sure she knows how to contact you, check in with her on breaks..

Seriously OP. You are being quite dramatic. If you have work to do and your only choice is work or let her have screens - let her have the damn screens. You could also take her phone/device and tell her to read a book and not to interrupt you.

I still don't get why you can't work. She has a cold and she's a teen.

No fever? No vomit? No home.

It’s really that easy.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She has really been sick yesterday and today, not just the sore throat, but cauching, sneezing, nose congestion, etc.

We get it. You coddle her to the extreme. Again, why couldn't you work while she stayed home with a cold? You are doing her NO favors. She's going to be severely stunted by your coddling.

OP here. She has really been sick yesterday and today, not just the sore throat, but cauching, sneezing, nose congestion, etc.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had to establish a hard no fever no staying home rule. I will test for Covid, but a sore throat only is not enough. I’ll give cough drops and ibuprofen and allergy meds if it the right time of year. If they are home the do school work or read, I will allow some screens, but I have plenty of time to work.

I haven’t had to per se, but this is how we roll too. Either you have a fever or produce vomit if you want to stay home.