Anonymous wrote:I came from a lower-income community and went to Princeton. I know how tough that transition is, and I had a high-school friend who never recovered from the Ivy she attended. My daughter attends a super-selective school and has a roommate from such a background who is clearly clinically depressed.

Plus, Princeton unlike Harvard and Yale doesn’t grade inflate as much, particularly in STEM, and kids who are super stressed about getting high paying jobs pack into those majors (rather than thinking that maybe attending Princeton is enough).

I don’t have a clear answer. On average Ivies benefit the lives of low-income kids. For sure attending Princeton changed my life for the better. But they can also destroy some kids, too. And I think this preprofessional obsession that has consumed so many kids and parents is horrible for this generation’s mental health.

Anonymous wrote:The problem with QB and colleges with low income kids is nobody gives them a crash course in social dynamics when you throw $65k kids into a pool where the majority are wealthy and super wealthy.

Lots of focus on academics and traditional college life, but nobody gives the “scared straight” talk about how jarring the different socio-economic strata may be.

There was an article several years back about how one Ivy school (it may have been Princeton) would give FA kids free tickets to student events and what not (that required an entry fee), but you had to wait in a separate line that basically “outed” you as poor. Well, the poor kids just stopped going until someone in the administration asked.

Also, it was only recently that many of these schools decided that they wouldn’t have students do work study in the dining halls, because it just created a terrible dynamic betweeen rich and poor.

Maybe they are starting to wake up to this…don’t know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anybody want to summarize what he said?

You have to watch it because he’s quite genuine and that doesn’t translate.

But basically- Princeton is a a really unhappy unhealthy place. People are manipulative, extremely competitive, and stressed. Do your research before you choose you college. Don’t just listen to the tour guides. Watch how students interact. Then he gave really good advice on choosing friends wisely!

Sounds blah big listening to it gives it credibility

Anonymous wrote:Lots of effort here to discount what he's saying.

But it is true that some of the top ivies are pressure cookers. Why deny that? You're taking uber competitive kids and putting them all in a new environment where all of a sudden everyone else is just as smart as them. It's rough. Why try and claim it's because of this kid's personal circumstances? Lots of folks say what he's saying. And he's just trying to remind you of this as you're navigating college choices. I don't think it was poor judgment. I think it was brave. He's trying to advocate for his values in a way that helps others. He's trying to say that maybe "elite" isn't worth the toxic environment. Good for him - I'd hire him.

This kid has some wisdom and you all are so entrenched in the idea of elite that you can't take it in. He's asking you to try and see things differently for your kids' sake. I honestly feel badly for the kids who are trained to chase status.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do know you can transfer - right? I do not feel bad for anyone who just whines and doesn't try to do anything about it.

If you watch this kid’s YouTube video on where he got in, you will see he is the child of immigrants with a very low income. I don’t think transferring is easy for kids that are on large amounts of financial aid. He was a questbridge finalist or something, so under $65,000 HHI

Wonder if part of his problem is meeting kids there who have immense family wealth and he’s being eaten up with jealousy. It’s one thing to know that billionaires exist, it’s another to meet one and think “why him and not me?”

This is probably the most unlikely theory.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anybody want to summarize what he said?

You have to watch it because he’s quite genuine and that doesn’t translate.

But basically- Princeton is a a really unhappy unhealthy place. People are manipulative, extremely competitive, and stressed. Do your research before you choose you college. Don’t just listen to the tour guides. Watch how students interact. Then he gave really good advice on choosing friends wisely!

Sounds blah big listening to it gives it credibility

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Ivies and other selective colleges have always had challenging academics, but not the grind, cutthroat mentality more typically found today. The grind factor is new and has become more typical over the past 15 years. I think this reflects the increase in STEM majors and students from families/cultures that accept/promote grind culture.

I think you are exactly right.

Princeton has been rigorous for many years, but in the past I think more of the kids who were there really wanted to be there, and overall had a better experience. Now there seem to be more kids who are there because it's what their parents want for them, and then they gravitate towards grueling STEM majors like CS and EE because they think it's the only path to a high-paying job and a successful life.

I graduated decades ago. I have no doubt that the vast majority of my classmates had a good experience and that even some of the students who found it exhausting at the time now look back on it more fondly. I looked at our senior yearbook and found a few quotes from students that were the versions of the You Tube video, but they were in the minority:

"Princeton, to say the least, has been a trying experience for me. I think it was just the case of attempting to place a square peg in a round hole or vice versa. Princeton was simply not for me."

"Princeton is like a mop. You come here to soak up everything it has to offer and leave totally wrung out, only to realize the job can never be finished."

"On an individual level, the people I have met at Princeton are as nice as any I've come across anywhere. But on the whole, since coming to Princeton, I now know what it feels like to hate myself, to feel vastly inferior to anyone else I encounter, and simply to be unhappy. These lessons will be hard to unlearn, but I'm going to try."

Of course there were then hundreds of quotes from graduates looking back on all the fun they had, or all they learned, or what other famous quotes inspired them, but these quotes seem more poignant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anybody want to summarize what he said?

You have to watch it because he’s quite genuine and that doesn’t translate.

But basically- Princeton is a a really unhappy unhealthy place. People are manipulative, extremely competitive, and stressed. Do your research before you choose you college. Don’t just listen to the tour guides. Watch how students interact. Then he gave really good advice on choosing friends wisely!

Sounds blah big listening to it gives it credibility

Anonymous wrote:Does anybody want to summarize what he said?

Anonymous wrote:The Ivies and other selective colleges have always had challenging academics, but not the grind, cutthroat mentality more typically found today. The grind factor is new and has become more typical over the past 15 years. I think this reflects the increase in STEM majors and students from families/cultures that accept/promote grind culture.