Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 18:37     Subject: Re:They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:I was in a FWB relationship for a couple of years in my mid 20's. We lived in different cities and we both had insanely time intensive jobs that required a lot of travel. We'd see each other once a month or so and take vacations together but in between there wasn't a lot of contact maybe once a week or so. We never got to the point of wanting more because I think we both knew we weren't a really compatible couple for many reasons but we had fun, met each others sexual needs - he was really good! - and it stopped when I met someone and he wished me well. He was at my wedding and we still exchange Christmas cards over 20 years later.


I’m a happily married woman and I think the above is actually very sweet. Why does every relationship have to follow the same script to be valid? Why do we have to completely possess a person in order for the relationship to be respectable or respectful? Why can’t we appreciate some people for their good qualities while not needing to be married to them?
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 18:36     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:Why do I keep attracting women who want a serious relationship? I am 47, divorced, 2 kids and so far I have had to end 3 relationships that started as friend with benefits on OLD. They were 33, 39 and 48 and each relationship ended about 6 months after it started. I make it very clear from the start that I don’t want any more kids, I don’t want to remarry, I don’t want to live together, I just want us to hookup as needed. Yet each one was okay with this but slowly starting asking for more.

The only thing I can see is the issue is that while they were FWB relationships I nevertheless treated them with respect. I call them, text them, etc. To me that’s basic human relationship. Yes I am passionate person, I hate interesting hobbies, I am a people person so perhaps I could be sending the wrong vibe…

Is there some kind of “algorithm” to find those women who don’t end up wanting more after initially agreeing to a purely sexual relationship?


Date women that have already gone through menopause
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 18:26     Subject: Re:They say they are okay with FWB then want more
I was in a FWB relationship for a couple of years in my mid 20's. We lived in different cities and we both had insanely time intensive jobs that required a lot of travel. We'd see each other once a month or so and take vacations together but in between there wasn't a lot of contact maybe once a week or so. We never got to the point of wanting more because I think we both knew we weren't a really compatible couple for many reasons but we had fun, met each others sexual needs - he was really good! - and it stopped when I met someone and he wished me well. He was at my wedding and we still exchange Christmas cards over 20 years later.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 18:22     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:LOL, what a stupid phrase…”catch feelings”.


I agree - no doubt coined by toxic men to describe a normal human phenomenon and to shame women into accepting no strings attached arrangements. So they have an easy out when that person ends up wanting more and can justify it with "well they knew the situation from the beginning", blaming them for having normal human emotions as if that's a bad thing. These men just want to sleep with multiple women with low to no effort. They seriously should just get escorts.


Why? They don’t have to pay these women that say they want no-strings. It’s not their fault they are lying to them or reneging on the agreement/arrangement.

If you say you are okay being a Ho, don’t get mad later when he treats you like one.

Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 17:30     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:LOL, what a stupid phrase…”catch feelings”.


I agree - no doubt coined by toxic men to describe a normal human phenomenon and to shame women into accepting no strings attached arrangements. So they have an easy out when that person ends up wanting more and can justify it with "well they knew the situation from the beginning", blaming them for having normal human emotions as if that's a bad thing. These men just want to sleep with multiple women with low to no effort. They seriously should just get escorts.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 13:47     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:FWB situations only work if both people are actively seeing other people at the same time.

Once it becomes exclusive on either side - by intention or by happenstance - the person who isn't seeing anyone else starts to see it as more of a relationship.

If you're around frequently enough that she doesn't need anyone else, she will stop seeking out other dates. Limit your fwb hookups to once a month or so, and everyone is more likely to keep carrying on with others.

Not true in married affairs. These women get attached if you stay long enough and pin all these hopes of an exit affair on you.


I don’t get guys to have an affair with a married woman, then complain about the behavior of the AP. “We were gonna be FWB but she changed the script - what a lair!” Dude, you yourself are lying and carrying on cheating on your wife, yet you’re deflecting and complaining about the AP’s behavior. Have some insight.


If she lied about truly being no strings with those ulterior motives…but- yeah— these married people blow up two families and leave a trail of destruction for nothing, somebody that means nothing to them.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 13:31     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:Why do I keep attracting women who want a serious relationship? I am 47, divorced, 2 kids and so far I have had to end 3 relationships that started as friend with benefits on OLD. They were 33, 39 and 48 and each relationship ended about 6 months after it started. I make it very clear from the start that I don’t want any more kids, I don’t want to remarry, I don’t want to live together, I just want us to hookup as needed. Yet each one was okay with this but slowly starting asking for more.

The only thing I can see is the issue is that while they were FWB relationships I nevertheless treated them with respect. I call them, text them, etc. To me that’s basic human relationship. Yes I am passionate person, I hate interesting hobbies, I am a people person so perhaps I could be sending the wrong vibe…

Is there some kind of “algorithm” to find those women who don’t end up wanting more after initially agreeing to a purely sexual relationship?


Sex robots since you don't want a living being for anything but sex.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 13:20     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:I will date you, OP! I am in the same boat.

I am a M looking for a FWB... Currently I can find a unicorn
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 13:18     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:LOL, what a stupid phrase…”catch feelings”.

The phrase has a negative connotation. Like catching the flu or the clap, sometimes it happens despite your best efforts.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 12:56     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:Why do I keep attracting women who want a serious relationship? I am 47, divorced, 2 kids and so far I have had to end 3 relationships that started as friend with benefits on OLD. They were 33, 39 and 48 and each relationship ended about 6 months after it started. I make it very clear from the start that I don’t want any more kids, I don’t want to remarry, I don’t want to live together, I just want us to hookup as needed. Yet each one was okay with this but slowly starting asking for more.

The only thing I can see is the issue is that while they were FWB relationships I nevertheless treated them with respect. I call them, text them, etc. To me that’s basic human relationship. Yes I am passionate person, I hate interesting hobbies, I am a people person so perhaps I could be sending the wrong vibe…

Is there some kind of “algorithm” to find those women who don’t end up wanting more after initially agreeing to a purely sexual relationship?


OP I am curious which OLD app is this where you are having so much success
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 12:51     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
LOL, what a stupid phrase…”catch feelings”.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 12:44     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:get a sugar baby instead.

what woman wants to be used like that?


Nobody is getting used, unless you consider sex to be degrading to women.

FWB is actually degrading, no matter your gender. No relationship - and fwb IS a relationship- is clean cut and easy. Humans are complex, especially the ones who believe they have no emotional connections forming to people they bang on a regular basis for months.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 12:06     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:FWB situations only work if both people are actively seeing other people at the same time.

Once it becomes exclusive on either side - by intention or by happenstance - the person who isn't seeing anyone else starts to see it as more of a relationship.

If you're around frequently enough that she doesn't need anyone else, she will stop seeking out other dates. Limit your fwb hookups to once a month or so, and everyone is more likely to keep carrying on with others.

Not true in married affairs. These women get attached if you stay long enough and pin all these hopes of an exit affair on you.


I don’t get guys to have an affair with a married woman, then complain about the behavior of the AP. “We were gonna be FWB but she changed the script - what a lair!” Dude, you yourself are lying and carrying on cheating on your wife, yet you’re deflecting and complaining about the AP’s behavior. Have some insight.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 11:03     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
Anonymous wrote:FWB situations only work if both people are actively seeing other people at the same time.

Once it becomes exclusive on either side - by intention or by happenstance - the person who isn't seeing anyone else starts to see it as more of a relationship.

If you're around frequently enough that she doesn't need anyone else, she will stop seeking out other dates. Limit your fwb hookups to once a month or so, and everyone is more likely to keep carrying on with others.

Not true in married affairs. These women get attached if you stay long enough and pin all these hopes of an exit affair on you.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2024 10:24     Subject: They say they are okay with FWB then want more
FWB situations only work if both people are actively seeing other people at the same time.

Once it becomes exclusive on either side - by intention or by happenstance - the person who isn't seeing anyone else starts to see it as more of a relationship.

If you're around frequently enough that she doesn't need anyone else, she will stop seeking out other dates. Limit your fwb hookups to once a month or so, and everyone is more likely to keep carrying on with others.