Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?
This.
I’m Black and am not here to fix your problems.
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So don't post. No one's making you do anything. OP is asking for help. You don't have to give it.
It’s not difficult to read and educate yourself. It’s not the job of black or old to educate white people. It’s exhausting, they’d literally be educating 24x7.
We have enough resources that we can’t expect black peoples to constantly educate.
I'm sorry, this "it's not my job to educate you" business is such crap. What exactly is your theory of change?
We're all in this together. This country. If your attitude towards well-meaning people asking for help understanding oppression is "f* off, it's not my job to educate you," guess what? Things ain't gonna change. Things change when people show empathy and share experiences and perspectives. Going off in a huff just reinforces stereotypes and fosters ill will. It may make you feel better, but it makes the world worse.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?
This.
I’m Black and am not here to fix your problems.
![]()
So don't post. No one's making you do anything. OP is asking for help. You don't have to give it.
It’s not difficult to read and educate yourself. It’s not the job of black or old to educate white people. It’s exhausting, they’d literally be educating 24x7.
We have enough resources that we can’t expect black peoples to constantly educate.
I'm sorry, this "it's not my job to educate you" business is such crap. What exactly is your theory of change?
We're all in this together. This country. If your attitude towards well-meaning people asking for help understanding oppression is "f* off, it's not my job to educate you," guess what? Things ain't gonna change. Things change when people show empathy and share experiences and perspectives. Going off in a huff just reinforces stereotypes and fosters ill will. It may make you feel better, but it makes the world worse.
You can’t just sit in your ignorance and ask for a free education.
Have you read books on the subject, watch documentaries? And have question. What are they?
Asking for a full ass education because you are too lazy to learn on your own shows me you don’t really GAF so why waste my time if it’s gonna slide off your back.
We’re doing this to make things better for Black people. If you’re antagonistic about it, why bother? You’re doing me no favors.
Start with White Fragility (to understand your current feelings), check out the 13th that’s a fun one.
Anonymous wrote:I find bias is sometimes created by the people afraid of bias. My last hire a lovely African American women literally her family in country since slave days spun out of control so quickly our black CEO, black head of HR and her black supervisor had her fired after 8 weeks. Everything was racist and we were all out to get her.
My company is at least 30-40 percent black and 50 percent of senior mgt is black but did not stop her with racist card
Move on she is cray cray
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Any black folks out here on this board with suggestions?
This.
I’m Black and am not here to fix your problems.
![]()
So don't post. No one's making you do anything. OP is asking for help. You don't have to give it.
It’s not difficult to read and educate yourself. It’s not the job of black or old to educate white people. It’s exhausting, they’d literally be educating 24x7.
We have enough resources that we can’t expect black peoples to constantly educate.
I'm sorry, this "it's not my job to educate you" business is such crap. What exactly is your theory of change?
We're all in this together. This country. If your attitude towards well-meaning people asking for help understanding oppression is "f* off, it's not my job to educate you," guess what? Things ain't gonna change. Things change when people show empathy and share experiences and perspectives. Going off in a huff just reinforces stereotypes and fosters ill will. It may make you feel better, but it makes the world worse.
You can’t just sit in your ignorance and ask for a free education.
Have you read books on the subject, watch documentaries? And have question. What are they?
Asking for a full ass education because you are too lazy to learn on your own shows me you don’t really GAF so why waste my time if it’s gonna slide off your back.
Start with White Fragility (to understand your current feelings), check out the 13th that’s a fun one.
Anonymous wrote:The reality is if she was a white man she would be considered assertive.
We do judge women, especially black women, differently when they are assertive.
Men use direct language and women use collaborative language. When a woman uses direct language they are called aggressive.
She is right, your feedback is based on unconscious bias. So now what do you do?
Also listing the thing she does to support your unconscious bias is called confirmation bias.
Everybody has bias. It’s fine, relax.
This article may help.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-women-called-aggressive-while-men-assertive-limor-bergman-nfmfc#:~:text=Stereotypes%20and%20Gender%20Norms%3A&text=Meanwhile%2C%20men%20are%20expected%20to,being%20labeled%20as%20%22aggressive.%22
She needs to be aware that her communication has intention and impact and because of unconscious bias people don’t receive her message as she intends. Her intention and impact do not line up. Sure it’s not fair that people are emotionally traumatized when women are assertive but you can’t change that.
As for the staff. They sound like they are simply going through storming and norming process. This happens to every new team. She is making changes and people are acting like babies. Obviously you can’t say that.
If you are unaware of what storming forming norming performing is this explains it.
https://www.mindtools.com/abyj5fi/forming-storming-norming-and-performing
Take the emotion out of the conversation.
She wants them to do X they want to do Y. Unless they can show value at not doing it her way they need to suck it up.
You also need to manage the storming stage better I’m sure you can google it.
Anonymous wrote:Hi, I’m looking for some advice about handling a tricky workplace situation. We recently hired a new senior manager, who is a black woman. She is supervising a diverse team, and has been breaking a lot china in her first few months on the job, leading to a lot of unhappiness and complaints from her staff. She has also been ignoring various institutional processes. She is very smart and very capable, but she tends to spend a lot of time telling everyone else how important and smart she is, and not a lot of time listening.
As her supervisor, I finally had to have a hard conversation with her, a very similar conversation to one I have had over the years with many others, in which I told her she’s great, and has a wonderful ideas, but that we need her to do a little bit more listening and checking in with people before she charges ahead on things. She did not take this well, and responded with a long email saying that she thinks the pushback she is getting, both from her staff, and from me, is due to the implicit bias people have about working with a black woman in a leadership position. (I am a white woman.)
I don’t for a moment dispute the fact that black women face all kinds of micro aggression and bias that white men or women would not. And, of course, telling someone their behavior is affected by implicit unconscious bias is a non-rebuttable proposition. However, this woman is doing what I have seen many other people, black, white, male, and female, do over the years, which is alienating everyone around her by grandstanding and being heavy-handed, instead of turning her staff into her allies and supporters.
Any thoughts on how to respond to her? On the one hand, I don’t want to do anything that further convinces her that all criticism is coming out of unconscious racial bias on the other hand, I don’t think the existence of racism in the world should be a free pass for anyone to be a jerk in the workplace, which is frankly what she is doing. Advice?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There are good leaders and bad leaders.
There are qualities and behaviors that both objectively exhibit.
Is the work getting done? Is the leader inspiring confidence and trust? Are their employees happy?
No?
Then it’s the leaders job to fix it. Why should your company suffer because you hired an inflexible leader with no humility? That is what it sounds like at least. You don’t storm the castle and then get to say everyone’s just mad at you because of how you look.
Isn't OP the leader and the employee a manager?