Anonymous
03/02/2024 07:21
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
For us, as much as we hated it, we told her that not going to church was not usually an option but that we were making as exception in this case.
We made sure she understood how much it meant to us. We gave up what we loved for a season. Next season, she was ok with missing Sunday morning games.
You may need to show you are willing to let go of your rigidness for the time being while showing your firmness in your belief
We made sure she understood how much it meant to us. We gave up what we loved for a season. Next season, she was ok with missing Sunday morning games.
You may need to show you are willing to let go of your rigidness for the time being while showing your firmness in your belief
Anonymous
03/01/2024 23:09
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Forced religion is insane to me.
Organizing a whole family’s life around sports is insane to me.
It's not one or the other. Forcing kids to do something only you believe is strange
Yeah, I mean my five year old hates baths. Why would I ever bathe him?
Anonymous
02/29/2024 15:54
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
Insisting kids attend church for any other reason than to be polite to grandparents on occasion, be at funerals, etc. is worthless. Do you really need to make the whole family pretend to believe in a cartoon man in the sky and beyond that nonsense, devote actual time to publicly acting out the pretending? Come on. Let it go.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 12:02
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
Anonymous wrote:We are Catholic and said kids should go through Confirmation and after that, it is up to them. As a sponsor, I had to attend a Confirmation 'retreat" last weekend. The speaker had some good messages but I had a hard time getting over her focus on sins and telling a room of 8th graders that maturation is a sin. She wasn't even an old speaker. Sorry to go off topic but I find the Catholic church harder to defend to my kids everyday.
Anyway, with our approach our older kid who is 16 no longer attends unless it is a family event. Our kid who is currently getting confirmed says he will definitely still attend but not miss travel tournaments for mass. Some our all day Sat and Sun.
I would probably encourage my teens to attend more if we had a more liberal parish nearby or perhaps we need to find a different Christian religion. Our local Catholic churches have made a point to say that lgbtq people are "sinning" and any non-procreative sex is a sin. One is sending emails about the "evils" of yoga and meditation. I can't see how the church still exists in a few decades.
Using "immediately after confirmation" was the point where they get to decide seems to strange to me.
Confirmation should be the point, and if they don't want to continue, there should be no pressure to go through the confirmation process. it's the very nature of the ceremony.
I get that there may be consequences, if as adults, they return to the church, but it feels like they already have a built-in point in the process where we say "okay, you were baptized by your parents, put in CCD by your parents, brought every sunday to church by your parents, but now, we are going to confirm that you really want to do this going forward"
That seems like the right place to let them stop, not right after!
Anonymous
02/29/2024 11:51
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
Anonymous wrote:We are Catholic and said kids should go through Confirmation and after that, it is up to them. As a sponsor, I had to attend a Confirmation 'retreat" last weekend. The speaker had some good messages but I had a hard time getting over her focus on sins and telling a room of 8th graders that maturation is a sin. She wasn't even an old speaker. Sorry to go off topic but I find the Catholic church harder to defend to my kids everyday.
Anyway, with our approach our older kid who is 16 no longer attends unless it is a family event. Our kid who is currently getting confirmed says he will definitely still attend but not miss travel tournaments for mass. Some our all day Sat and Sun.
I would probably encourage my teens to attend more if we had a more liberal parish nearby or perhaps we need to find a different Christian religion. Our local Catholic churches have made a point to say that lgbtq people are "sinning" and any non-procreative sex is a sin. One is sending emails about the "evils" of yoga and meditation. I can't see how the church still exists in a few decades.
Try an Episcopal church, you might feel more comfortable there, and no chance they would be telling a confirmation class that masturbation is a sin.
Anonymous
02/29/2024 11:04
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
^^ masturbation not maturation
Anonymous
02/29/2024 11:03
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
We are Catholic and said kids should go through Confirmation and after that, it is up to them. As a sponsor, I had to attend a Confirmation 'retreat" last weekend. The speaker had some good messages but I had a hard time getting over her focus on sins and telling a room of 8th graders that maturation is a sin. She wasn't even an old speaker. Sorry to go off topic but I find the Catholic church harder to defend to my kids everyday.
Anyway, with our approach our older kid who is 16 no longer attends unless it is a family event. Our kid who is currently getting confirmed says he will definitely still attend but not miss travel tournaments for mass. Some our all day Sat and Sun.
I would probably encourage my teens to attend more if we had a more liberal parish nearby or perhaps we need to find a different Christian religion. Our local Catholic churches have made a point to say that lgbtq people are "sinning" and any non-procreative sex is a sin. One is sending emails about the "evils" of yoga and meditation. I can't see how the church still exists in a few decades.
Anyway, with our approach our older kid who is 16 no longer attends unless it is a family event. Our kid who is currently getting confirmed says he will definitely still attend but not miss travel tournaments for mass. Some our all day Sat and Sun.
I would probably encourage my teens to attend more if we had a more liberal parish nearby or perhaps we need to find a different Christian religion. Our local Catholic churches have made a point to say that lgbtq people are "sinning" and any non-procreative sex is a sin. One is sending emails about the "evils" of yoga and meditation. I can't see how the church still exists in a few decades.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 11:42
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
When you decide you prefer to let people be themselves and have a preference for world peace.
Anonymous
02/28/2024 08:36
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
15
Anonymous
02/28/2024 01:27
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
OP here and my last update. Thank you everyone!
I was already feeling like sports was going to take priority for DC and we were already losing that fight with him. DH and I sat down with DC about a compromise on how to make Sunday services work and DC admitted that he needed a break from services beyond sports. We agreed to reevaluate Sunday services after his sports season is over.
He still enjoys his evening youth group and agreed to continue for now. From this conversation, it was clear he's wrestling with some feelings of doubt and I think remaining good examples as a family without forcing is the best guide for him at the moment. Many more conversations to have, but I came out of this feeling like we were in a better place and that we can figure it out.
I was already feeling like sports was going to take priority for DC and we were already losing that fight with him. DH and I sat down with DC about a compromise on how to make Sunday services work and DC admitted that he needed a break from services beyond sports. We agreed to reevaluate Sunday services after his sports season is over.
He still enjoys his evening youth group and agreed to continue for now. From this conversation, it was clear he's wrestling with some feelings of doubt and I think remaining good examples as a family without forcing is the best guide for him at the moment. Many more conversations to have, but I came out of this feeling like we were in a better place and that we can figure it out.
Anonymous
02/27/2024 17:51
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm not threatened by those who hate Christians and the comments intended to insult me dont bother me. All Christians are accustomed to some level of persecution. This question was not for you and I respect that you choose to raise your family is different from mine.
I think I have a way forward so DC may continue sports. I'll discuss with DH and DC. Thank you everyone.
Oh wow, really? The good ole victim mentality again?
No wonder there's so many "haters" when christians say sh*t like this
Why are you in this thread? OP is asking church attending families for balancing sports conflicts. This isnt the thread for religion bashing.
I found the “persecution of Christian’s” thing to be both off topic and off outing too.
OP - my suggestion is to drop the rope with DS and work with DH on coming to a common parenting view. This will continue to be an issue in your family over the next few years. May be about religion, or could very well be about something else. Point is that you should try to get on the same page as your DH about how to resolve how much choice/freedom to give your kid and what the signs of maturity are that will let you guys give him more of a voice. Goal obviously is to slowly substitute his judgement for yours over all aspects of his life over the next 5-10 years.
Anonymous
02/26/2024 21:55
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm not threatened by those who hate Christians and the comments intended to insult me dont bother me. All Christians are accustomed to some level of persecution. This question was not for you and I respect that you choose to raise your family is different from mine.
I think I have a way forward so DC may continue sports. I'll discuss with DH and DC. Thank you everyone.
Oh wow, really? The good ole victim mentality again?
No wonder there's so many "haters" when christians say sh*t like this
Why are you in this thread? OP is asking church attending families for balancing sports conflicts. This isnt the thread for religion bashing.
All these so called christians are really just Christian nationalists, which are the same as MAGAs.
Anonymous
02/26/2024 19:22
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Forced religion is insane to me.
Organizing a whole family’s life around sports is insane to me.
It's not one or the other. Forcing kids to do something only you believe is strange
Anonymous
02/26/2024 19:22
Subject: What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm not threatened by those who hate Christians and the comments intended to insult me dont bother me. All Christians are accustomed to some level of persecution. This question was not for you and I respect that you choose to raise your family is different from mine.
I think I have a way forward so DC may continue sports. I'll discuss with DH and DC. Thank you everyone.
Oh wow, really? The good ole victim mentality again?
No wonder there's so many "haters" when christians say sh*t like this
Why are you in this thread? OP is asking church attending families for balancing sports conflicts. This isnt the thread for religion bashing.
Anonymous
02/26/2024 18:30
Subject: Re:What age to stop forcing teens to attend church?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You don't have to go to church to have a relationship with God. God is everywhere. You can talk to God from anywhere in the world you may be.
It’s this. My parents forced us to go until we left for college but the times were flexible. There was a Saturday mass and many on Sunday to pick from so I don’t ever remember missing anything. None of us went during college. As adults 2/3 of us do not belong to a church or go to services of any kind. I have one sister who goes weekly with her entire family but switched religions and is no longer Catholic.
Do you think you would belong to a church now if your parents didn't force you when you were young?
No. We are a huge sports family and sports dominate the weekends. We enjoy this. I never got anything out of going to services and never felt the need to belong to a specific church. Maybe I would have tried joining one if I didn’t have my upbringing but wouldn’t have stayed. Organized religion isn’t for me.
I’m not anti religion at all. We believe in God and one of my children attends a Christian college.
Quoting myself here. Sometimes when I’m watching tv the videos from He gets us come up. They summarize how I feel about religion now. It’s not about going to church or the rituals or belonging to a specific religion. I am not affiliated with this group at all but just googled one. It’s just basically saying God and Jesus are everywhere and understand where we are at. https://youtu.be/YOcglZFlFM8