Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP - I'm in a very similar situation (a lot worse in private than what OP described) and couples counseling did not help a bit. While I agree this kind of dynamic is detrimental to the kids, what happens in a divorce? Doesn't the man get the kids equally? If it was just me, I would have been out the door already but it's scary to think he will have the kids 50% and treat them with the same verbal abuse. For all those suggesting divorce, how do you handle the custody part?

All I can tell you, as the kid who grew up in this kind of home, I wished everyday that it would stop and they could find happier lives elsewhere.

I’m a PP who was in a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage, and this is what my teenage DD told me she wished for years. I stayed in the marriage because I thought it would be better for the kids, and after things got so bad we split up, my oldest told me about it all from her perspective. I really, really wish I’d known then what I know now. Get out, OP and PP.

OP, split up. He is not treating you with basic human courtesy, much less love and respect. Doesn’t matter if you have two young kids. I know from personal experience that you will regret having them grow up in an environment like what you describe. It doesn’t model healthy relationships, and they will experience a lot of stress from being around a bad marriage. You deserve better. Even if what you do annoys him, it doesn’t give him the right to treat you that way. And now that he’s got into the habit of seeing you that way and treating you that way, it’ll be extremely hard for him to feel it back and reprogram.

By any chance does he make significantly more than you? I have seen this with some of my friends sadly
Some us men tend to be ass***s when we make significantly more than our spouses. And you see that same nasty behavior at work among such types of men as well.

Oh wait. I just figured out why none of the 20-4O year olds I know are getting married. They are all looking for “happiness.” ah. Understood.