I feel pretty good now in my 40s but I look awful. I’ve always been very thin, and starting around 40 it was like all the volume in my face just disappeared. I look like a walking skull. I’m hoping to get a fat transfer to face procedure to look a little less corpse-like.

I don’t know that anyone is more likely to be diagnosed with cancer in their 40s than in their 30s, or 20s…none are typical ages for diagnoses. It’s more likely to happen 50+.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 52 and feel great. I quit alcohol 2 years ago, I consistently exercise, I eat mostly healthy and sleep well most nights. I think the alcohol thing was key for me.

Have you gone through menopause yet?

I was the same, but just hit 54 and missed my first two periods…exhausted from waking up so many times are night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just physical.
It’s the flip from being an age where getting sick and dying would be a shocking thing and being the age where it happens. And it does happen to everyone around you your age and older.
Very hard transition

Death is still uncommon (and shocking) at that age. Are you kidding me?

not really - check out the 'endless parade of tragedy' thread in 'midlife concerns and eldercare'

I got cancer in my early 40s and have multiple friends who had the same. All dx incidentally and asymptomatic with zero risk factors.

Sorry, this is not normal.

I feel great physically (44), but totally agree with you on the change in the way I look at mortality. For the first time in my life, I know multiple people around my age that have already died of cancer, my parents (72) are showing signs of major slowing down even while they are incredibly healthy and active, and the onslaught of recommended health screenings make me aware of how much can go wrong!

But! On the plus side, I have more money and ability to do fun things than ever before, and I'm much more inclined now to just go for it, knowing that time is short.

I’m 52 and feel great. I quit alcohol 2 years ago, I consistently exercise, I eat mostly healthy and sleep well most nights. I think the alcohol thing was key for me.

Anonymous wrote:I think the health anxiety is hard to tamp down, when more and more people you know start experiencing awful diagnoses!

I almost am questioning a lot of scans altogether. Less so preventative but more so symptomatic. I’d rather live and enjoy and not be afraid than find out I have something too late to do anything about it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a way that forced me to realize I could die at any moment for no reason at all. I had to become ok with it at like 14. I am now 45 and only hope to see my child grow up to be successful and happy. Beyond that I don't really care. I'm not suicifial nor do I wish to die. I eat healthy, I exercise, I am happy and content. I just know that one day we will all die and being scared and worried all the time is pointless.

how is hoping to see your child grow up and be successful and happy and different from what anyone wants? that's living to old age. i would dispute that given that statement, you would be ok with dying at any moment.

I guess you don’t get it. I’m at peace with being dead whenever that happens. I’m not going to hasten it but it will happen and I’m not going to spend the last few decades of my life being downtrodden about death and getting old.

Well you posted that you ‘don’t care’
Not that you’re at peace with it.
Those are very different feelings

I think the health anxiety is hard to tamp down, when more and more people you know start experiencing awful diagnoses!