Anonymous
Post 12/07/2024 10:13     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Anonymous wrote:Was she white, you POC?


Give me a break - white middle aged woman who is often asked if I work in places. She was embarrassed and lashed out in response.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2024 09:25     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Was she white, you POC?


Obviously, because only POC get asked if they are store employees, and the white woman must be racist.



Agree, though you forgot the eyeroll or /s to clue in the idiot, woke PP.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2024 09:04     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
I've found that if I wear red in Target or blue in Walmart I get asked for help a lot.

People looking for an employee usually have been for some time and are desperate to find help.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2024 09:00     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?


Op are you brown? I’m AA when people do this to me I tell them they are being racist .


Pray tell how is that racist.


Are you really this dense that you don't know why this is racist??
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2024 08:59     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
You aren't rude, she is
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2024 08:52     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?


Op are you brown? I’m AA when people do this to me I tell them they are being racist .


Pray tell how is that racist.
It’s a fairly common experience for people with brown skin to be perceived as service employees, no matter the context. If you don’t have brown skin it’s probably just an invisible phenomenon to you.
Anonymous
Post 12/07/2024 08:40     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?


Op are you brown? I’m AA when people do this to me I tell them they are being racist .


This all day.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2024 13:22     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
OP, it’s tapering off now that I allow my RBF to do its thing, but I’ve always been very approachable. That happened to me all the time and people would also say I know you don’t work here, but do you happen to know where XYZ is? Making the mistake isn’t rude, but the way she responded to you afterwards certainly was!
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2024 13:17     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Today I was in Sephora browsing. I had a bunch of stuff in my hands and I had a handbag. A woman said to me “excuse me, do you have this in ____ color”. I looked up, realized she was talking to me and said “Sorry, I don’t work here”. She replied, “you don’t have to rude, can you just point me in the direction of someone who does work here?”

I told her that I haven’t seen anyone who isn’t already helping someone and then I walked away.

I’m not exactly sure why/how I was rude but I’m also on the spectrum and have issues with understanding social cues at times. Advice?


Op are you brown? I’m AA when people do this to me I tell them they are being racist .


Pray tell how is that racist.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2024 13:14     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Need to know ethnicity of all involved.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2024 12:34     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
I don't have dementia yet and I have done this to people wearing red at Target. I think I have some version of face blindness for shirts. I do apologize and feel duly embarrassed.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2024 12:29     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This only happens to me rarely, and it does seem to be older people like the PP mentioned. I don't think they really think I work at Target, but it's clear they need help from someone, and I happen to be nearby. I try to help if I can by reaching an item from a shelf or pointing them in the right direction. I'm secure enough in myself to not get offended that someone might gasp! think I work at Target. Do people think they are too good for these jobs? Why take offense?


I’m in my early 60s. I try to figure out if the person works there before asking. The Target Red helps, but that’s only for Target. Sometimes I will ask, “do you work here?,” at a store where I have no clue. Sometimes I ask, “do you shop here and, if so, do you know where X is?”

And I try to be mindful because there are a lot of white folks who assume every person of color is a service worker when there can be some obvious clues that this is not the case, e.g., they are browsing clothing racks, pushing a grocery shopping cart and comparing prices, etc. The Amazon personal shoppers at WF are pretty obvious - they’re harried and working hard to be efficient. I don’t ask them where stuff is as they have a job to do.


I have an orange polo shirt. I stopped wearing it in Home Depot. As a middle aged white guy, I would get asked for help all the time.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2024 12:02     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
She was rude. Likely because she was embarrassed by her mistake.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2024 11:50     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Anonymous wrote:Look OP, you started this post to get advice. And you really don't want to hear that maybe the problem is you. So what are you looking for? Everyone just to agree that she was the problem? Is that helpful?


How is the problem her? the only correct response to mistaking someone for an employee is a mortified “I’m so sorry.” not asking them to point you to an employee!!!
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2024 11:42     Subject: “I don’t work here” rude?
Nope, you were not rude. You were stating a fact.