Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love hosting and do it often.

I’m annoyed that people reciprocate by “hosting” at a restaurant where we all go Dutch. It’s actually a lot of work and expense to host and the non hosters don’t see that.

So you host only because you hope to be hosted? That’s sort of stupid.

She didn't say that at all.
She puts in the work why shouldn't others.

Maybe some people like to meet up at restaurants bc their friends are bad cooks. Nothing worse than spending an evening eating mediocre food at someone’s house.

Anonymous wrote:Woof. Ok well while I personally don't like hosting because I don't like people in my space in general, I want to give a huge shoutout to the wonderful, generous, and happy hostesses in this thread and in my real life. I think it's an art and a gift and I appreciate all that you do!! Some people don't deserve y'all.

Thank you!

We don't host much but I agree with the previous poster that it's good for kids to socialize and mix with kids and hear adults engage in conversation and laughter and friendly debate etc For those reasons, we try to have people come over.

We host a lot. I actually love hosting and people are always accepting invitations, so presumably they like coming over. We have a big house with a pool and fire pit and secluded back yard and we love to share it. None of our things is too precious that we have to worry about someone spilling.

The ironic thing is - I'm introverted and shy. My husband and two of my kids are very social. When we host, (a) it gives dh and the extrovert kids people to "play" with; (b) it makes conversation easy because I am never just standing around wondering what to do or say - if I'm not engaged in a conversation, I can just go refill the ice or something; and (c) it is on our terms. I also just enjoy seeing my friends and I think it's important for my kids to learn how to host and engage in mixed age groups. Sometimes we host kid-free events and I think that's OK for them too - past generations did that all the time, and it was exciting as a kid to get a glimpse into "adult" life.

Restaurants involve loud noise, parking headaches, commuting headaches (in some instances), expensive bills, being stuck to whoever you are seated next to etc etc. It's just unpleasant.

Anonymous wrote:I enjoy being hosted a lot more than meeting at restaurants. I don't mind meeting in a neutral place like a brewery or winery after a physical activity or such but that's not really what we are discussing. Going out to dinner is not the same social vibe and I tend to avoid those get togethers.
I don't mind having people come over as long as they're ok with casual.

I will definitely avoid a larger group invitation because you end up having to talk to whoever you happen to sit near. I don't like that part of it. Restaurants are just a much less fluid situation to socialize in. It's very surface level socializing to me. Which is clearly what some people want.

Woof. Ok well while I personally don't like hosting because I don't like people in my space in general, I want to give a huge shoutout to the wonderful, generous, and happy hostesses in this thread and in my real life. I think it's an art and a gift and I appreciate all that you do!! Some people don't deserve y'all.

Anonymous wrote:I enjoy being hosted a lot more than meeting at restaurants. I don't mind meeting in a neutral place like a brewery or winery after a physical activity or such but that's not really what we are discussing. Going out to dinner is not the same social vibe and I tend to avoid those get togethers.
I don't mind having people come over as long as they're ok with casual.

Interesting. We do a mix of both in our friend group. I'm not sure I have a preference either way, although I guess if I had to pick I'd choose someone's house but that's because our friend group is all in our neighborhood so we don't have to drive anywhere if we go to someone's house (although we end up going to restaurants that are really close by if we do go out unless it's before a show or something).

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised people saying they like meeting in a neutral location. I do not want to go to a restaurant. Bad food, expensive service, snotty waiters, no thanks. I host often, but decline most restaurant invites. Inviting me to a restaurant is not reciprocating, but I'm also not looking for anything in return when I host. I'm hosting because I enjoy my friends' company. Luckily they all like to host as well. It's so nice after dinner to leave the table and then just go chat in another room with drinks and dessert.

Because you aren’t there for the food, you’re there for the company. Ignore the snooty waiters, pay your bill and be glad you got to spend time with friends, didn’t have to cook and don’t have to clean. You’re looking at it completely wrong.

I enjoy being hosted a lot more than meeting at restaurants. I don't mind meeting in a neutral place like a brewery or winery after a physical activity or such but that's not really what we are discussing. Going out to dinner is not the same social vibe and I tend to avoid those get togethers.
I don't mind having people come over as long as they're ok with casual.

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised people saying they like meeting in a neutral location. I do not want to go to a restaurant. Bad food, expensive service, snotty waiters, no thanks. I host often, but decline most restaurant invites. Inviting me to a restaurant is not reciprocating, but I'm also not looking for anything in return when I host. I'm hosting because I enjoy my friends' company. Luckily they all like to host as well. It's so nice after dinner to leave the table and then just go chat in another room with drinks and dessert.

I go to restaurants with great food, good waiters, and am happy to pay for that. Especially since I can’t host in my home.

Anonymous wrote:All the people who say they hate being hosted is surprising to me. You hate being invited to someone’s home? I hope you all decline the invitations. The thought I would invite someone over and they would come and hate it is pretty appalling. People go to effort please just say no.

Yes, this is a surprise.

Anonymous wrote:Core Gen X.

I had one dinner party for 3 colleagues in my early 30s.

1 bailed same day because she did a blood drive at work.

1 revealed she was pregnant at the meal so couldn't eat half of the menu. Also she and her husband left early because of tiredness.

Last guest bowed out early because she was the last/only.

Restaurants seem to be the only thing Gen X can handle.

I've never used any of the three sets of formal china that I inherited. Or most of my wedding presents (crystal candlesticks, champagne bucket).

You haven’t hosted a dinner party in 20 years? (Yes, I see this post is old.) I’m solidly GenX, but grew up poor and so didn’t have or get china or crystal. That’s not my style anyway, but I love hosting.

I'm surprised people saying they like meeting in a neutral location. I do not want to go to a restaurant. Bad food, expensive service, snotty waiters, no thanks. I host often, but decline most restaurant invites. Inviting me to a restaurant is not reciprocating, but I'm also not looking for anything in return when I host. I'm hosting because I enjoy my friends' company. Luckily they all like to host as well. It's so nice after dinner to leave the table and then just go chat in another room with drinks and dessert.