Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think any of the top schools qualifies for this description any more. Stanford, for instance, has crushed undergraduate fun. Some students and alumni have even started a website about it:

https://stanfordhatesfun.com/

But it’s not just Stanford. Essentially, the top campuses are filled with polarized groups of ambitious hoop-jumpers. That leads to misery. Not to be too grim, but there has been a rise in student deaths in all these schools, and the terrible mental health issues on many of these campuses are well-known.

Sounds legit.

If you know Stanford and its ethos, that website name is right on target.

Anonymous wrote:Bucknell is a good choice.

For what?

How about Macalaster? Less prestige but all the rest

Bucknell is a good choice.

Summer camp?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So no schools in the top 25 or so that are NOT pressure cookers? Really?

By nature of being the top 25, of course they are pressure cookers.

And the mindset of the kids that make it in are not related Ed.

You are looking for a unicorn.
Consider seeking healthy balance instead of prestige for your child. One leads to a more solid foundation.

Hi I would like a universally recognized elite college attracting the highest achievers in the world, and you need perfect grades/scores to even enter the lottery to get in but NO PRESSURE and also NO COMPETITION once there.

Next up, find me a house in perfect condition in a great neighborhood that’s super safe with great schools and short commutes, but UNDER MARKET PRICE.

OP here, and I hear you. Does it hurt to ask?
I don't think it's an inherently insane idea that a good school might also be prestigious, and also not a pressure cooker.

Curious what you think “prestige” is and what it’s based on?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are living in the 80s, OP. Prestigious schools are now filled with grinders. No one else is getting in. Grinders don’t suddenly become laid back partiers once they arrive at college. Go take a walk around campuses. It is grim.

Of the selective campuses I visited, toured with multiple kids over the last 3 years, these seemed quite fun/social:
UCLA
Rice
Vanderbilt
Dartmouth
Michigan
Emory
UVA
USC
UIUC
Wisco
Wake
Santa Clara
UMiami
Tulane

Think this is a pretty good list.

Have kids at two of these. It's definitely not pressure free. Anyone going to Rice, Vanderbilt, Emory, and USC is grinding. As are the OOS students at UCLA, Michigan, and UIUC.

But they seem to maintain a healthy balance.

Would add Notre Dame and McGill in Montreal.

Why only the OOS students?

Because it's much harder to get into those schools - add Berkeley, UNC, and Texas - as an OOS. And the cost is much, much higher

So more pressure generally. Whether due to cost or personal expectations. Anyone going to Berkeley from the DMV is an extremely competitive person

The top privates tend to be great with financial aid. But the publics are generally awful for out of state students. So a family spending $80,000 on Michigan or Texas when they could have UMD or UVA for $35,000... well, that creates expectations for most students from most families.

So, pressure.

Harvard

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, I am concerned about prestige, but we also want a school that is nice, friendly.
Do they exist? When I Google I find things about the best special services but that clearly doesn't mean it's a healthy environment

Wash. U. Very chill.

Most of the SLACs just outside of the top. And agree with ND and BC

Anonymous wrote:yes, I am concerned about prestige, but we also want a school that is nice, friendly.
Do they exist? When I Google I find things about the best special services but that clearly doesn't mean it's a healthy environment

Wash. U. Very chill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So no schools in the top 25 or so that are NOT pressure cookers? Really?

By nature of being the top 25, of course they are pressure cookers.

And the mindset of the kids that make it in are not related Ed.

You are looking for a unicorn.
Consider seeking healthy balance instead of prestige for your child. One leads to a more solid foundation.

Hi I would like a universally recognized elite college attracting the highest achievers in the world, and you need perfect grades/scores to even enter the lottery to get in but NO PRESSURE and also NO COMPETITION once there.

Next up, find me a house in perfect condition in a great neighborhood that’s super safe with great schools and short commutes, but UNDER MARKET PRICE.

OP here, and I hear you. Does it hurt to ask?
I don't think it's an inherently insane idea that a good school might also be prestigious, and also not a pressure cooker.

Beware of the opposite: Mid schools that are packed with unhappy, competitive students rejected from T10s.

Yikes which schools are those?

Columbia, Michigan, etc.

Curious why you're interested in prestige. Exploring the "why" there might help any college to feel less pressured for the whole family...lots of good thoughts on this journey!

Anonymous wrote:I hate it when someone says well adjusted. It's so pretentious and cringe.

You suck

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So no schools in the top 25 or so that are NOT pressure cookers? Really?

By nature of being the top 25, of course they are pressure cookers.

And the mindset of the kids that make it in are not related Ed.

You are looking for a unicorn.
Consider seeking healthy balance instead of prestige for your child. One leads to a more solid foundation.

Hi I would like a universally recognized elite college attracting the highest achievers in the world, and you need perfect grades/scores to even enter the lottery to get in but NO PRESSURE and also NO COMPETITION once there.

Next up, find me a house in perfect condition in a great neighborhood that’s super safe with great schools and short commutes, but UNDER MARKET PRICE.

OP here, and I hear you. Does it hurt to ask?
I don't think it's an inherently insane idea that a good school might also be prestigious, and also not a pressure cooker.

Beware of the opposite: Mid schools that are packed with unhappy, competitive students rejected from T10s.

While BC & Notre Dame have some Ivy rejects, they have the Catholic thing going for them, which gives them a certain distinctive cachet for Catholic students. So there are a lot of Catholic applicants who aren’t going to pout if they end up at them instead of Cornell, Dartmouth, or other T15 schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are living in the 80s, OP. Prestigious schools are now filled with grinders. No one else is getting in. Grinders don’t suddenly become laid back partiers once they arrive at college. Go take a walk around campuses. It is grim.

Of the selective campuses I visited, toured with multiple kids over the last 3 years, these seemed quite fun/social:
UCLA
Rice
Vanderbilt
Dartmouth
Michigan
Emory
UVA
USC
UIUC
Wisco
Wake
Santa Clara
UMiami
Tulane

Think this is a pretty good list.

Have kids at two of these. It's definitely not pressure free. Anyone going to Rice, Vanderbilt, Emory, and USC is grinding. As are the OOS students at UCLA, Michigan, and UIUC.

But they seem to maintain a healthy balance.

Would add Notre Dame and McGill in Montreal.

Why only the OOS students?