*** sorry lots of typos and left out words in my post, but I think you get the gist

Hi there,

Coming onto this forum late, but I wanted give some perspective as someone who graduated from college not too long ago.

One by one I was getting accepted to all of the colleges I applied to [UCSB, UCSD, UCI, UCD UIUC, Cal Poly SLO]. I was so happy-- but there was one in particular I was waiting for.

Opened the email from UCLA admissions and was rejected. I was CRUSHED. Heartbroken would be an understatement. We all work so hard in high school and it's never a guarantee we'll get into our 'dream' school. 4.5 gpa, 33 ACT, lots of leadership ec's. And this was in 2017 where it was a little easier to get in. I thought I had a fair shot. I also saw some of my friends who had worse stats than me, and at the time I was very envious of them. However, there were other students who had similar/better stats than me who also did not get in.

I cried it out and took a few days to sulk. I ultimately decided to attend my 2nd choice, UCSB. I had the BEST 4 years there, and no it wasn't perfect, but I really enjoyed my college experience and the friends I made.

My younger sibling just went through the college admissions process last year. Similar experience-- rejected from dream school Berkeley and decided to attend USC.

I think experiencing rejection is a good thing for young adults. It'll happen in relationships, jobs, everything. Life doesn't always work out the way you expect it to.

I kind of take solace in the fact that everyone on earth gets rejected from something at some point. It's part of the human experience. Most kids will not get into all of the schools they apply to. I'm really sorry about the rejection, I know it hurts. But I hope whichever school they pick they will end up loving.

Anonymous wrote:"dream school" is such an immature, irresponsible approach

Well, these are children we're talking about, so...

Anonymous wrote:Our child was deferred and eventually rejected from their dream/target school last year. No reason why they shouldn't have gotten in based on stats, test scores, ECs, essays, etc. I will forever be angry about it.

And, child is thriving where they are. When we visited over family weekend, and I made a comment having seen a bumper sticker on car in front of us, child told me to get over it because they are happy where they are and are where they are meant to be.

Wow. So here is an example of a parent who can't seem to stop trying to cause a problem.

Anonymous wrote:That was perfect in all regards. When multiple friends got in and will go.

I’m sorry your DC is going through this. Two of DD’s friends are stuck in this awful mental/emotional space right now. A third impulsively committed to her safety because she can’t stand anymore rejection.

It’s sad for the friends who got in and will go, as well. They have to mute their happiness now and they will miss the others on the turning points of freshman year.

I don’t have any specific advice other than time.