Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

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There’s a difference between trash talk amongst peers and friends and cruel ridicule of kids who are weaker. They know the difference.

No they don't the difference. At all. Kids are horribly insecure at that age. They can't tell the difference. They know whey they are doing it but to the recipient of the trash talk, their feelings are easily hurt.

They should know the difference. Trash talking is directed to opponents on the other team. It’s used to try and intimidate them so they won’t be on top of their game.

Cruel bullying and trashing your own teammate is low and there’s nothing to gain except making your teammate sink into more insecurity and eventually quitting . It’s a real nasty thing to do and it serves one purpose- to push the kid over the edge.

Mkay. Now spend some time around real boys and see how they behave instead of this fantasy version you have that doesn't reflect reality.

This is true for the vast majority of boys. My kid is both a very serious STEM student and a trash talker with his friends. I understand and support you encouraging him to diversify his friends but know that most boys will be like that, even the nerds. Maybe try to help him spot the difference between banter and bullying

Anonymous wrote:I have 12 and 14yo boys. They are both smart and athletic. My boys are athletic and they have both had times where they have had others putting them down. Trash talking is common and they tune it out and move on. One of the biggest trash talkers on my son’s travel soccer team had an older brother and parents who would should and yell from the sidelines. I remember thinking that is where the kid gets it from.

My point is even the athletic kids feel bad. My younger kid seems less sensitive than my older son.

The science and chess kids can also be just as bad as the sports kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

.

There’s a difference between trash talk amongst peers and friends and cruel ridicule of kids who are weaker. They know the difference.

No they don't the difference. At all. Kids are horribly insecure at that age. They can't tell the difference. They know whey they are doing it but to the recipient of the trash talk, their feelings are easily hurt.

They should know the difference. Trash talking is directed to opponents on the other team. It’s used to try and intimidate them so they won’t be on top of their game.

Cruel bullying and trashing your own teammate is low and there’s nothing to gain except making your teammate sink into more insecurity and eventually quitting . It’s a real nasty thing to do and it serves one purpose- to push the kid over the edge.

Mkay. Now spend some time around real boys and see how they behave instead of this fantasy version you have that doesn't reflect reality.

This is true for the vast majority of boys. My kid is both a very serious STEM student and a trash talker with his friends. I understand and support you encouraging him to diversify his friends but know that most boys will be like that, even the nerds. Maybe try to help him spot the difference between banter and bullying

My friend’s son was bullied in chess.

My son tried out science Olympiad when he was in elementary. There was this Indian girl who said nasty things to my son daily basically calling him dumb and dead weight. My kid never was that interested in science but was especially turned off after the mean girl on his team.

He is very athletic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

.

There’s a difference between trash talk amongst peers and friends and cruel ridicule of kids who are weaker. They know the difference.

No they don't the difference. At all. Kids are horribly insecure at that age. They can't tell the difference. They know whey they are doing it but to the recipient of the trash talk, their feelings are easily hurt.

They should know the difference. Trash talking is directed to opponents on the other team. It’s used to try and intimidate them so they won’t be on top of their game.

Cruel bullying and trashing your own teammate is low and there’s nothing to gain except making your teammate sink into more insecurity and eventually quitting . It’s a real nasty thing to do and it serves one purpose- to push the kid over the edge.

Mkay. Now spend some time around real boys and see how they behave instead of this fantasy version you have that doesn't reflect reality.

This is true for the vast majority of boys. My kid is both a very serious STEM student and a trash talker with his friends. I understand and support you encouraging him to diversify his friends but know that most boys will be like that, even the nerds. Maybe try to help him spot the difference between banter and bullying

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

.

There’s a difference between trash talk amongst peers and friends and cruel ridicule of kids who are weaker. They know the difference.

No they don't the difference. At all. Kids are horribly insecure at that age. They can't tell the difference. They know whey they are doing it but to the recipient of the trash talk, their feelings are easily hurt.

They should know the difference. Trash talking is directed to opponents on the other team. It’s used to try and intimidate them so they won’t be on top of their game.

Cruel bullying and trashing your own teammate is low and there’s nothing to gain except making your teammate sink into more insecurity and eventually quitting . It’s a real nasty thing to do and it serves one purpose- to push the kid over the edge.

Mkay. Now spend some time around real boys and see how they behave instead of this fantasy version you have that doesn't reflect reality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

.

There’s a difference between trash talk amongst peers and friends and cruel ridicule of kids who are weaker. They know the difference.

No they don't the difference. At all. Kids are horribly insecure at that age. They can't tell the difference. They know whey they are doing it but to the recipient of the trash talk, their feelings are easily hurt.

They should know the difference. Trash talking is directed to opponents on the other team. It’s used to try and intimidate them so they won’t be on top of their game.

Cruel bullying and trashing your own teammate is low and there’s nothing to gain except making your teammate sink into more insecurity and eventually quitting . It’s a real nasty thing to do and it serves one purpose- to push the kid over the edge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

.

There’s a difference between trash talk amongst peers and friends and cruel ridicule of kids who are weaker. They know the difference.

No they don't the difference. At all. Kids are horribly insecure at that age. They can't tell the difference. They know whey they are doing it but to the recipient of the trash talk, their feelings are easily hurt.

OP here: Yup. These are his friends. I mean as I said the main kid here practically lives at our house. These are people he considers his best friends, and they consider him their best friends. It still hurts when your friends rag on you. The kids don't seem to know the line. Which I know they are learning and will figure it out one day (i hope!). Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt along the way.

I don't think he has any desire to ditch these people, but just wishes they would recognize his other accomplishments sometimes and not just care about sports.

You said in your original post that his one true friend moved. Now you’re saying they consider your son their best friend. Best friends go to each others activities.

My son was horrible at sports. One summer when he was nine years old I sent him to a local that was held at a private school that had a lake. I did not realize that the sports would be taken so seriously. His first two days the bullies were laughing at him, mimicking him, mocking him. I called to tell them the problem he was having. They apologized and the bullying stopped right away.

That was the last time I made the mistake of thinking I could just sign him up for any camp. I picked appropriate camps from then on with no problems.

The top athletes usually don’t bother tormenting the less talented team mates. It’s usually the ones who are better than their target but not that great themselves. And his sobbing makes it apparent that it wasn’t just fun trash talking.

I hope you can find a great STEM summer camp program where he will be his element and can hold his own.

Anonymous wrote:Developing more down to earth interests could be an option too

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

.

There’s a difference between trash talk amongst peers and friends and cruel ridicule of kids who are weaker. They know the difference.

No they don't the difference. At all. Kids are horribly insecure at that age. They can't tell the difference. They know whey they are doing it but to the recipient of the trash talk, their feelings are easily hurt.

OP here: Yup. These are his friends. I mean as I said the main kid here practically lives at our house. These are people he considers his best friends, and they consider him their best friends. It still hurts when your friends rag on you. The kids don't seem to know the line. Which I know they are learning and will figure it out one day (i hope!). Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt along the way.

I don't think he has any desire to ditch these people, but just wishes they would recognize his other accomplishments sometimes and not just care about sports.

You said in your original post that his one true friend moved. Now you’re saying they consider your son their best friend. Best friends go to each others activities.

My son was horrible at sports. One summer when he was nine years old I sent him to a local that was held at a private school that had a lake. I did not realize that the sports would be taken so seriously. His first two days the bullies were laughing at him, mimicking him, mocking him. I called to tell them the problem he was having. They apologized and the bullying stopped right away.

That was the last time I made the mistake of thinking I could just sign him up for any camp. I picked appropriate camps from then on with no problems.

The top athletes usually don’t bother tormenting the less talented team mates. It’s usually the ones who are better than their target but not that great themselves. And his sobbing makes it apparent that it wasn’t just fun trash talking.

I hope you can find a great STEM summer camp program where he will be his element and can hold his own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

.

There’s a difference between trash talk amongst peers and friends and cruel ridicule of kids who are weaker. They know the difference.

No they don't the difference. At all. Kids are horribly insecure at that age. They can't tell the difference. They know whey they are doing it but to the recipient of the trash talk, their feelings are easily hurt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't there for that trash talk, but sometimes I see my kids (one boy, one girl) pile on each other just to score points/try to be funny/have something to say. I discourage it and sometimes they'll tell me, "That's just how we talk!" I truly see them not knowing what to talk about sometimes, so they'll just go in on each other. I'm not proud of it and not excusing it, but maybe that's an answer to the, "Why so much trash talk?"

.

There’s a difference between trash talk amongst peers and friends and cruel ridicule of kids who are weaker. They know the difference.

No they don't the difference. At all. Kids are horribly insecure at that age. They can't tell the difference. They know whey they are doing it but to the recipient of the trash talk, their feelings are easily hurt.

OP here: Yup. These are his friends. I mean as I said the main kid here practically lives at our house. These are people he considers his best friends, and they consider him their best friends. It still hurts when your friends rag on you. The kids don't seem to know the line. Which I know they are learning and will figure it out one day (i hope!). Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt along the way.

I don't think he has any desire to ditch these people, but just wishes they would recognize his other accomplishments sometimes and not just care about sports.