Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's very hard to raise a child as a single parent. Have you many relatvies nearby who can and want to help? Otherwise wouldn't advise to keep.

No it isn’t. It’s 1/2 the work of having a baby and a man in your life.

Now it expensive I’ll give you that.

Only for certain types of women. For the vast majority, a father is a huge help and is also inherently better for the child. It's simple math -- two caregivers are better than one.

Now, granted, there's a subset of control freak women who think men are incapable and so they basically nitpick and complain and micromanage and feel put-out that he's not "helping her" even though she's discounting his efforts and contributions and acting like she's in charge. Those ones tend to think it's half as easier without a partner.

NP. No, for the vast majority of women, the father is not a huge help. Childcare and parenting usually relies mostly on the mother as a default parent even if they’re married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get pregnant very easily, easy pregnancies . Pregnant first time trying at 32, 35 and 38

And still!!!! I never got pregnant with a prior boyfriend or had an unwanted pregnancy:

I learned about prevention in middle school sex Ed. I was on the Pill and took it religiously (pre-Mirena,etc).

It’s weird to read so many woman getting pregnant while dating or hooking up with randos. If you are too dumb to use birth control, the child isn’t going to care well …

Some are just immature and shouldnt be having sex.

Nature disagrees!

That is very true nature dont care if we are immature.

We are supposed to have evolved. Humans can control their biological destinies and prevent procreation.

"supposed to have evolved" according to who? Believing that you have complete control over your biology is just hubris. I would expect people like you to have more unwanted pregnancies, not fewer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No birth control option is 100% effective and ~40% of pregnancies in the US are unintended. So PPs who are blaming the OP without knowing details should get off their high horses. I suspect there are more unintended pregnancies among your friends and families than you suspect- people just don’t tell to avoid judgement.

OP- good luck with whatever decision you make. As a parent of a kid with a slew of diagnoses, also given some thought to how you would handle a kid with special needs.

Well, the vasectomy is 100% effective. More guys should get those.

None of my educated friends have had unexpected pregnancies while dating. And this is a large group. Very educated, feminists that know how to prevent and not leave it up to a man to control the BC. In fact, many were using BC before they decided to have sex for the first time because they didn't want to derail their future plans.

A lot of the women I know that got pregnant unexpectedly ...it wasn't so unexpected. They are just surprised it happened. Some even subconsciously?? wanted to force a guy's hand.

There are IUDs that are non-hormonal that people that have stroke risk can have inserted. Its 2024, if you don't want a baby and want to have sex---things are pretty ironclad for prevention of conception. Then there is the morning after pill for the careless.

You should improve your knowledge of the risks of IUD, even the non-hormonal ones. Risk of infertitlity is way too high to risk using one. I have advised my 20-year-old DD not to use one. She can't take BC for a variety of reasons. Condoms it is. There really aren't great solutions out there.

IUDs are safe and effective. Your poor daughter is going to have a lot of wanted pregnancies.

Condoms work just fine! IUDs weren’t really a thing when I was younger and I had a bad reaction to the pill, so I used condoms for many, many years. I never got pregnant until I was ready to have a baby at 35. The condom broke a few times and I ended up having to get the morning after pill, but overall, it did the job. The key is you have to be consistent. They’re also much safer, if you’re not in a long term relationship. Now that I’m old and married, we use natural family planning and that works, too, or more likely, I’m too old to get pregnant…either way, I’m okay with a whoopsie. Also, I never had a single long term partner complain about using them or try to push me to go on the pill, etc.

I am on my 3rd pregnancy from not using birth control.

Did you figure out what keeps causing it?

The cause is us not being responsible when i give birth they are tying my tubes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

There are open adoptions now.

PP, you really do not get it, do you? It would be worse for me if I knew who the adoptive parents were. I think the jealousy and worry would swallow me whole. I would care that I had handed over custody of my child to someone else. I would care about what sorts of things that occurred in their home that I might disagree with, not illegal things, just differences in opinions about how to raise a child and on life philosophy in general. I would care that they and not I would have authority over the person that I had brought into the world genetically and physiologically. I am not a dog to be bred.

Again, I stand firmly by my original statement that I would much, much rather terminate the growth of an embryo than to hand my child over into someone else’s hands. I couldn’t live with that. It would break my heart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No birth control option is 100% effective and ~40% of pregnancies in the US are unintended. So PPs who are blaming the OP without knowing details should get off their high horses. I suspect there are more unintended pregnancies among your friends and families than you suspect- people just don’t tell to avoid judgement.

OP- good luck with whatever decision you make. As a parent of a kid with a slew of diagnoses, also given some thought to how you would handle a kid with special needs.

Well, the vasectomy is 100% effective. More guys should get those.

None of my educated friends have had unexpected pregnancies while dating. And this is a large group. Very educated, feminists that know how to prevent and not leave it up to a man to control the BC. In fact, many were using BC before they decided to have sex for the first time because they didn't want to derail their future plans.

A lot of the women I know that got pregnant unexpectedly ...it wasn't so unexpected. They are just surprised it happened. Some even subconsciously?? wanted to force a guy's hand.

There are IUDs that are non-hormonal that people that have stroke risk can have inserted. Its 2024, if you don't want a baby and want to have sex---things are pretty ironclad for prevention of conception. Then there is the morning after pill for the careless.

You should improve your knowledge of the risks of IUD, even the non-hormonal ones. Risk of infertitlity is way too high to risk using one. I have advised my 20-year-old DD not to use one. She can't take BC for a variety of reasons. Condoms it is. There really aren't great solutions out there.

IUDs are safe and effective. Your poor daughter is going to have a lot of wanted pregnancies.

Condoms work just fine! IUDs weren’t really a thing when I was younger and I had a bad reaction to the pill, so I used condoms for many, many years. I never got pregnant until I was ready to have a baby at 35. The condom broke a few times and I ended up having to get the morning after pill, but overall, it did the job. The key is you have to be consistent. They’re also much safer, if you’re not in a long term relationship. Now that I’m old and married, we use natural family planning and that works, too, or more likely, I’m too old to get pregnant…either way, I’m okay with a whoopsie. Also, I never had a single long term partner complain about using them or try to push me to go on the pill, etc.

I am on my 3rd pregnancy from not using birth control.

Did you figure out what keeps causing it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

NP, I would so much rather have an abortion than know my child is somewhere out there in the world in the care of strangers. I have no problem terminating the growth of a few cells, but it would kill me to carry a pregnancy to term and then hand over my baby. Call me selfish. I don’t care. You have to be very cold to just hand over your living, breathing baby and go on like nothing happened.

I agree, I would think about them and imagine what it would’ve been like frequently.

There are open adoptions now.

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to spend the rest of you life intertwined with this person?

When I found myself in a similar situation at age 23 (pregnant after 1-2 months of a hot fling), the above statement was one of the main reasons I chose abortion. I knew I had my entire life ahead of me and didn't want all of my life decisions to have to revolve around what worked for this other guy. Even just as simple as not wanting to have to be tied to living in the same area as him so my child would know her father.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

What a cruel response to OP’s post — and completely irrelevant to her decision making process.

I mean thats extreme she would have to carry to term give birth then recover.

Anonymous wrote:I could never abort in that situation, but many people obviously would. Your child could also be extremely easily placed via adoption — this is literally most adoptive parents dream scenario (stable, non addict mother who genuinely voluntarily chooses not to parent despite having the means to), if you wanted to go that route. It’s really ultimately how you personally feel about it.

What a cruel response to OP’s post — and completely irrelevant to her decision making process.

Yeetus the fetus.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No birth control option is 100% effective and ~40% of pregnancies in the US are unintended. So PPs who are blaming the OP without knowing details should get off their high horses. I suspect there are more unintended pregnancies among your friends and families than you suspect- people just don’t tell to avoid judgement.

OP- good luck with whatever decision you make. As a parent of a kid with a slew of diagnoses, also given some thought to how you would handle a kid with special needs.

Well, the vasectomy is 100% effective. More guys should get those.

None of my educated friends have had unexpected pregnancies while dating. And this is a large group. Very educated, feminists that know how to prevent and not leave it up to a man to control the BC. In fact, many were using BC before they decided to have sex for the first time because they didn't want to derail their future plans.

A lot of the women I know that got pregnant unexpectedly ...it wasn't so unexpected. They are just surprised it happened. Some even subconsciously?? wanted to force a guy's hand.

There are IUDs that are non-hormonal that people that have stroke risk can have inserted. Its 2024, if you don't want a baby and want to have sex---things are pretty ironclad for prevention of conception. Then there is the morning after pill for the careless.

You should improve your knowledge of the risks of IUD, even the non-hormonal ones. Risk of infertitlity is way too high to risk using one. I have advised my 20-year-old DD not to use one. She can't take BC for a variety of reasons. Condoms it is. There really aren't great solutions out there.

IUDs are safe and effective. Your poor daughter is going to have a lot of wanted pregnancies.

Condoms work just fine! IUDs weren’t really a thing when I was younger and I had a bad reaction to the pill, so I used condoms for many, many years. I never got pregnant until I was ready to have a baby at 35. The condom broke a few times and I ended up having to get the morning after pill, but overall, it did the job. The key is you have to be consistent. They’re also much safer, if you’re not in a long term relationship. Now that I’m old and married, we use natural family planning and that works, too, or more likely, I’m too old to get pregnant…either way, I’m okay with a whoopsie. Also, I never had a single long term partner complain about using them or try to push me to go on the pill, etc.

I am on my 3rd pregnancy from not using birth control.

Do you think the two of you can be co-parents?
If you are the woman is he even interested in co parenting?
Are you wiling to be a single parent with possibly no support from the other person?

Next time you sleep with someone, double up on the protection.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No birth control option is 100% effective and ~40% of pregnancies in the US are unintended. So PPs who are blaming the OP without knowing details should get off their high horses. I suspect there are more unintended pregnancies among your friends and families than you suspect- people just don’t tell to avoid judgement.

OP- good luck with whatever decision you make. As a parent of a kid with a slew of diagnoses, also given some thought to how you would handle a kid with special needs.

Well, the vasectomy is 100% effective. More guys should get those.

None of my educated friends have had unexpected pregnancies while dating. And this is a large group. Very educated, feminists that know how to prevent and not leave it up to a man to control the BC. In fact, many were using BC before they decided to have sex for the first time because they didn't want to derail their future plans.

A lot of the women I know that got pregnant unexpectedly ...it wasn't so unexpected. They are just surprised it happened. Some even subconsciously?? wanted to force a guy's hand.

There are IUDs that are non-hormonal that people that have stroke risk can have inserted. Its 2024, if you don't want a baby and want to have sex---things are pretty ironclad for prevention of conception. Then there is the morning after pill for the careless.

You should improve your knowledge of the risks of IUD, even the non-hormonal ones. Risk of infertitlity is way too high to risk using one. I have advised my 20-year-old DD not to use one. She can't take BC for a variety of reasons. Condoms it is. There really aren't great solutions out there.

IUDs are safe and effective. Your poor daughter is going to have a lot of wanted pregnancies.

Do you feel this is a parent to child behavior pattern?

Or, like her mother before her, she could make good choices. At the age of 20, she certainly has so far. Sleeping around isn't worth the risk of blood clots, stroke, infection and infertility, or unwanted pregnancy. We do not preach abstinence or anything like that, just smart, good choices. Her health and future is too important to her.

Yes i wonder if this behavior is a pattern?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No birth control option is 100% effective and ~40% of pregnancies in the US are unintended. So PPs who are blaming the OP without knowing details should get off their high horses. I suspect there are more unintended pregnancies among your friends and families than you suspect- people just don’t tell to avoid judgement.

OP- good luck with whatever decision you make. As a parent of a kid with a slew of diagnoses, also given some thought to how you would handle a kid with special needs.

Well, the vasectomy is 100% effective. More guys should get those.

None of my educated friends have had unexpected pregnancies while dating. And this is a large group. Very educated, feminists that know how to prevent and not leave it up to a man to control the BC. In fact, many were using BC before they decided to have sex for the first time because they didn't want to derail their future plans.

A lot of the women I know that got pregnant unexpectedly ...it wasn't so unexpected. They are just surprised it happened. Some even subconsciously?? wanted to force a guy's hand.

There are IUDs that are non-hormonal that people that have stroke risk can have inserted. Its 2024, if you don't want a baby and want to have sex---things are pretty ironclad for prevention of conception. Then there is the morning after pill for the careless.

You should improve your knowledge of the risks of IUD, even the non-hormonal ones. Risk of infertitlity is way too high to risk using one. I have advised my 20-year-old DD not to use one. She can't take BC for a variety of reasons. Condoms it is. There really aren't great solutions out there.

IUDs are safe and effective. Your poor daughter is going to have a lot of wanted pregnancies.

Condoms work just fine! IUDs weren’t really a thing when I was younger and I had a bad reaction to the pill, so I used condoms for many, many years. I never got pregnant until I was ready to have a baby at 35. The condom broke a few times and I ended up having to get the morning after pill, but overall, it did the job. The key is you have to be consistent. They’re also much safer, if you’re not in a long term relationship. Now that I’m old and married, we use natural family planning and that works, too, or more likely, I’m too old to get pregnant…either way, I’m okay with a whoopsie. Also, I never had a single long term partner complain about using them or try to push me to go on the pill, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No birth control option is 100% effective and ~40% of pregnancies in the US are unintended. So PPs who are blaming the OP without knowing details should get off their high horses. I suspect there are more unintended pregnancies among your friends and families than you suspect- people just don’t tell to avoid judgement.

OP- good luck with whatever decision you make. As a parent of a kid with a slew of diagnoses, also given some thought to how you would handle a kid with special needs.

Well, the vasectomy is 100% effective. More guys should get those.

None of my educated friends have had unexpected pregnancies while dating. And this is a large group. Very educated, feminists that know how to prevent and not leave it up to a man to control the BC. In fact, many were using BC before they decided to have sex for the first time because they didn't want to derail their future plans.

A lot of the women I know that got pregnant unexpectedly ...it wasn't so unexpected. They are just surprised it happened. Some even subconsciously?? wanted to force a guy's hand.

There are IUDs that are non-hormonal that people that have stroke risk can have inserted. Its 2024, if you don't want a baby and want to have sex---things are pretty ironclad for prevention of conception. Then there is the morning after pill for the careless.

You should improve your knowledge of the risks of IUD, even the non-hormonal ones. Risk of infertitlity is way too high to risk using one. I have advised my 20-year-old DD not to use one. She can't take BC for a variety of reasons. Condoms it is. There really aren't great solutions out there.

IUDs are safe and effective. Your poor daughter is going to have a lot of wanted pregnancies.

I just can't believe that putting your uterus into a chronic state of inflammation can be healthy in the long run. Are we not preached at daily to avoid chronic states of inflammation? Did you even know that's how the copper IUDs work? They put the uterus into a chronic state of inflammation to make a hostile environment. Why would I work hard to be healthy in every way then do this to myself?