Anonymous
Post 02/05/2024 10:10     Subject: Re:Would you seperate/divorce if your spouse treated you like this?
I advise you to leave this man as soon as you possibly can due to the mere fact that your children are being negatively affected which may cause self-esteem issues later on.

Also for them to see their Father treat their Mother so disrespectful is also setting up a negative model of marriage for them.
Anonymous
Post 02/04/2024 16:41     Subject: Would you seperate/divorce if your spouse treated you like this?
Anonymous wrote:You and your kids deserve better. I’d divorce him.


100%
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2024 19:13     Subject: Would you seperate/divorce if your spouse treated you like this?
Anonymous wrote:We are in the process of getting divorce over something far less serious. His behavior is a shame! Wow shushing you, barking at you, leaving you behind in restaurants wow…My wife is leaving me because she said I have gotten complacent in our marriage and I don’t want to spend time with her which is true. However I have never disrespected her like your husband is disrespecting you. This guy needs therapy.


You are severely minimizing the effect that your spouse doesn’t want to spend time with you has on someone. Severely.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2024 17:02     Subject: Re:Would you seperate/divorce if your spouse treated you like this?
[youtube]What is the two business cards talk?


Not PP but I imagine this is handing 2 business cards to your spouse; one for a therapist, and one for an attorney, and asking them to choose.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2024 13:45     Subject: Would you seperate/divorce if your spouse treated you like this?
Is he really hot?

Is he really rich?

Why are you still there? Also, something to consider: If you divorce, your kids would experience a peaceful supportive home environment at least 50% of the time. Right now, they have that 0% of the time because even when they’re with you there’s always the looming threat of your husband walking in.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2024 13:39     Subject: Would you seperate/divorce if your spouse treated you like this?
Anonymous wrote:You have been married and living with the same person for 16 years. What you are describing is common. This is also around the time people get really annoyed with their spouse. Tons of events happen at year~ 15

I vote that this is totally normal. You choose your strategy and your reaction now. You can only control yourself, your tolerance and your happiness.


Is it though? Many of my friends have dissatisfaction in their marriages but don't seem to have similar issues to me.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2024 13:36     Subject: Would you seperate/divorce if your spouse treated you like this?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have been married for 16 years and have 3 kids, ranging in age from 9 to 15. I recently started going to therapy to deal with ongoing issues in my marriage. DH will only go to couple's counseling if I drag him so I decided to go on my own. My therapist calls DH's behavior toward the kids and particularly me, emotionally and verbally abusive. I have been processing it all and am trying to determine how I've put up with it for so long, is it really emotional abuse, are my kids going to be ok, and should I leave now or try to wait until the kids are out of the hodcuse.

Here are some examples of DH's behavior- mocks/mimics the kids; if I bring up a serious topic he doesn't want to discuss, he'll accuse me of 'liking drama', or he'll accuse me of trying to ruin his night, or he'll get up and leave the room. He has also left me at restaurants multiple times, has shushed me if I bring up an emotional issue, and does a barking sound (in front of the kids) if he thinks I'm nagging. He's also emotionally shut off in general and takes his work stress out on us. We walk on eggshells. After reading other's experiences on here, I do think he has ASD but that is another topic. Right now I would just appreciate feedback from others who have been in a similar situation with a spouse who was emotionally/verbally abusive and what did you do?




Do you think you are more drama than most people? Did you marry him because you thought he was stoic? I just think it's hard to figure this stuff out if you haven't made any changes yourself. How would we know if you should divorce? It's a huge decision. Especially with children. This seems small potatoes compared to other people's issues. I'd work on the issues first. Both of you.

I have a friend I love dearly but she is full of drama naturally and the husband bears a lot of her anxiety. Luckily, they both want to make it work and have worked hard on the marriage together.


I have been told by many people I'm low-drama. That is definitely not the issue here. I'm not saying I'm perfect but I'm at least willing to go to counseling and work on things. I've been trying to drag DH there for several years to no avail.

Do you feel DH is immature?


Extremely
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2024 13:35     Subject: Would you seperate/divorce if your spouse treated you like this?
Anonymous wrote:The people on about 50/50 didn’t read that their oldest is 15. That is old enough that the court will take their experience and preferences into account when assigning custody.

OP in your shoes I would give the two business cards talk, and a specific time window.


What is the two business cards talk? It will be interesting to see how my kids respond. My 15 yr old has said to me, "why don't you divorce him already?" My 12 year old has a friend whose parents have recently been going through a messy divorce and she said, "I'm so glad my parents aren't divorced." It's tough all around.
Anonymous
Post 02/03/2024 09:27     Subject: Would you seperate/divorce if your spouse treated you like this?
The people on about 50/50 didn’t read that their oldest is 15. That is old enough that the court will take their experience and preferences into account when assigning custody.

OP in your shoes I would give the two business cards talk, and a specific time window.