Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. I spoke to a few agencies today and I was just offered applications for him. He is not under a guardianship so technically he is supposed to fill them out himself but almost certainly won’t. He refused to go to the psychologist appointment I set up for him and the psychologist informed me if he does not want to participate due to his age and being legally independent she will not see him so the appointment was canceled. She had no other suggestions as he doesn’t want to participate or voluntarily leave my home.

Things had been quiet for a few weeks and then he had his tantrum. I would say every month or 2 he has had a violent and destructive outburst for the last few months. During these outbursts he threatens me not to play with him.

He does not work and has never held any job more than 2 weeks. He is also lazy and disinterested in working or having his own money or things. He is very intelligent and capable when he wants to be but just doesn’t function.

He currently receives no financial benefits and never has. He has a drivers license but does not own a car but has taken mine without permission several times.

He has malicious destroyed many things over the years including cash, jewelry, iPhones, car keys which he microwaved to destroy, appliances, windows and interior doors etc even my work laptop. I probably spend several thousand dollars a year just replacing what he takes and I know better than to get attached to things. He feels justified when doing so. He usually asks for an apology after his tantrum believing it is my fault for “pushing him to go there” and being told “next time maybe you’ll learn”.

There is simply no good place for him due to lack of available housing for special needs adults and his disinterest in seeking help or leaving. I am going to rent an apartment and just leave my house and not return for a while. Whatever happens to it I can’t control and hopefully he leaves on his own soon.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. I spoke to a few agencies today and I was just offered applications for him. He is not under a guardianship so technically he is supposed to fill them out himself but almost certainly won’t. He refused to go to the psychologist appointment I set up for him and the psychologist informed me if he does not want to participate due to his age and being legally independent she will not see him so the appointment was canceled. She had no other suggestions as he doesn’t want to participate or voluntarily leave my home.

Things had been quiet for a few weeks and then he had his tantrum. I would say every month or 2 he has had a violent and destructive outburst for the last few months. During these outbursts he threatens me not to play with him.

He does not work and has never held any job more than 2 weeks. He is also lazy and disinterested in working or having his own money or things. He is very intelligent and capable when he wants to be but just doesn’t function.

He currently receives no financial benefits and never has. He has a drivers license but does not own a car but has taken mine without permission several times.

He has malicious destroyed many things over the years including cash, jewelry, iPhones, car keys which he microwaved to destroy, appliances, windows and interior doors etc even my work laptop. I probably spend several thousand dollars a year just replacing what he takes and I know better than to get attached to things. He feels justified when doing so. He usually asks for an apology after his tantrum believing it is my fault for “pushing him to go there” and being told “next time maybe you’ll learn”.

There is simply no good place for him due to lack of available housing for special needs adults and his disinterest in seeking help or leaving. I am going to rent an apartment and just leave my house and not return for a while. Whatever happens to it I can’t control and hopefully he leaves on his own soon.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t tell him you’re leaving. That could spark another outburst. Leave at night when he’s asleep and take only a few things with you. Your pet. Needed medications. Change of clothes. Go get a hotel if you need to tonight. Get out of there.

Anonymous wrote:He is bot high functiong despite what your late parents and you believed. He sounds fully verbal, but needing significant supports and having mental health issues on top of asd/ocd. Both he and you will be better off if he went to a group home living situation.

Since you allowed this to go on for a decade - did your parents will their estate in a way that traps you in this arrangement? Do you have a therapisr, friends, a job?

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again. I spoke to a few agencies today and I was just offered applications for him. He is not under a guardianship so technically he is supposed to fill them out himself but almost certainly won’t. He refused to go to the psychologist appointment I set up for him and the psychologist informed me if he does not want to participate due to his age and being legally independent she will not see him so the appointment was canceled. She had no other suggestions as he doesn’t want to participate or voluntarily leave my home.

Things had been quiet for a few weeks and then he had his tantrum. I would say every month or 2 he has had a violent and destructive outburst for the last few months. During these outbursts he threatens me not to play with him.

He does not work and has never held any job more than 2 weeks. He is also lazy and disinterested in working or having his own money or things. He is very intelligent and capable when he wants to be but just doesn’t function.

He currently receives no financial benefits and never has. He has a drivers license but does not own a car but has taken mine without permission several times.

He has malicious destroyed many things over the years including cash, jewelry, iPhones, car keys which he microwaved to destroy, appliances, windows and interior doors etc even my work laptop. I probably spend several thousand dollars a year just replacing what he takes and I know better than to get attached to things. He feels justified when doing so. He usually asks for an apology after his tantrum believing it is my fault for “pushing him to go there” and being told “next time maybe you’ll learn”.

There is simply no good place for him due to lack of available housing for special needs adults and his disinterest in seeking help or leaving. I am going to rent an apartment and just leave my house and not return for a while. Whatever happens to it I can’t control and hopefully he leaves on his own soon.

Anonymous wrote:I have a 30 year old adult sibling who has become increasingly violent. He began living with me after our parents died over a decade ago. He is very high functioning but does not work and chose to not attend higher education. He also has ocd, severe oppositional defiant disorder and narcissistic tendencies. He refuses to go to any therapy and when we have been able to get him to go he refuses medication. Tonight was the last straw. Because he said I was “mean” by telling him he needed to clean up the kitchen he turned to my very old dog and threw her out of the house and pushed me out of the house as well. I was wearing a robe as I had just left the shower and he pulled it off of me as he did this so I was nude outside with my dog locked out. When I got back inside after taking the hidden key outside I was irate and yelled at him so he turned the gas stove on. He then poured oil all over it. We had a small kitchen fire which destroyed my microwave and the surrounding cabinets and if I didn’t have a fire extinguisher on hand I don’t know what would have happened. He is clearly extremely dangerous to himself and others. Where do you put people like this besides jail?