Anonymous wrote:While some of you may "feel" like 3+ kid families are becoming more common, this is almost certainly self-selection bias, with people who have 3+ kids, or want 3+ kids, gravitating to the same communities. The birth rate is the lowest it's been in years, with fewer people having kids and those that are having kids, having fewer. 3+ child families definitely are not more common than they used to be.

Though interestingly, larger families are more desirable according to stated preferences than they were a few years ago: https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-larger-families-highest-1971.aspx#:~:text=In%20all%2C%2031%25%20of%20U.S.,having%20two%20children%20as%20ideal.

But the preference for larger families is not actually translating to having larger families, likely because American culture does not support it, especially financially. So while more people say they want 3 or more kids, fewer people are actually having this many.

Also, people with 4+ kids are most likely to state that their own family size is less desirable than smaller families, strongly backing up the idea that many people with larger families had "oops" babies.

Where did you get this from? I know lots of people with 4+ kids (including myself) and have never heard anyone say this.

While some of you may "feel" like 3+ kid families are becoming more common, this is almost certainly self-selection bias, with people who have 3+ kids, or want 3+ kids, gravitating to the same communities. The birth rate is the lowest it's been in years, with fewer people having kids and those that are having kids, having fewer. 3+ child families definitely are not more common than they used to be.

Though interestingly, larger families are more desirable according to stated preferences than they were a few years ago: https://news.gallup.com/poll/511238/americans-preference-larger-families-highest-1971.aspx#:~:text=In%20all%2C%2031%25%20of%20U.S.,having%20two%20children%20as%20ideal.

But the preference for larger families is not actually translating to having larger families, likely because American culture does not support it, especially financially. So while more people say they want 3 or more kids, fewer people are actually having this many.

Also, people with 4+ kids are most likely to state that their own family size is less desirable than smaller families, strongly backing up the idea that many people with larger families had "oops" babies.

I guess we aren’t as rich as some of you because in our neighborhood/school, 3 kid families are probably tied with 2 kid families. Then 4+ kids and onlies take a small percentage. But I bet we have more only children than 4+. ALL of the 4+ are religious in some way.

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Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.

Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.

You're real gullible if you think this.

Why? She could be talking about me. I have oops triplets.

You're the unicorn. Every single person I know with twins, and there are a lot of them, used fertility treatments.

Do you ask? Or assume?
I know several people (including my husband before IVF times) that are twins not from IVF. Grew up with several sets in my high school. I know some from fertility treatments but it’s probably about half and half so I find it hard to believe it’s “every single person I know with twins”.

I’m a twin and I feel like I see way more twins now. Also a lot more boy-girl twins where you know the egg didn’t split. When I see older parents (35+) with boy-girl twins I assume IVF.

But women at the end of their reproductive years are also more likely to conceive fraternal twins naturally.

But much more likely the result of reproductive assistance.

OK, but twins are more likely to be born to older parents either way. Seems weird to assume.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m in a wealthy neighborhood and almost every family here has 3-4 in rapid succession. I grew up lower middle class and most families were 2 so I’d say it’s less of a “sign of the times” and more a sign of wealth.

Both DH and I grew up in wralthy 3 kid families. We only ever wanted 2 kids.

I grew up in a 2 kid family and desperately wanted more siblings. I would’ve gladly given away much of what I’ll inherit for a sister or more cousins for my kids.

+1

+1. I secretly held out hope that my parents would have another kid (a third kid) until I was 16. At that point it became obvious that they were not going to have another child. I still wish I had another sibling.

Sure you did

Np, but as a kid I wished for tons of siblings (had one brother) and was so sure I'd have lots of kids of my own. Cut to actually being an adult, any I'm perfectly happy with two kids. I'll also perfectly happy with just one sibling now. Big families in adulthood can be a lot to manage.

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Anonymous wrote:If I wasn't totally infertile that would be me. 9 babies, 2 living. Sucks.

Justonemore??

I miss justonemore! I hope she’s doing well.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.

Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.

You're real gullible if you think this.

Why? She could be talking about me. I have oops triplets.

You're the unicorn. Every single person I know with twins, and there are a lot of them, used fertility treatments.

Do you ask? Or assume?
I know several people (including my husband before IVF times) that are twins not from IVF. Grew up with several sets in my high school. I know some from fertility treatments but it’s probably about half and half so I find it hard to believe it’s “every single person I know with twins”.

I’m a twin and I feel like I see way more twins now. Also a lot more boy-girl twins where you know the egg didn’t split. When I see older parents (35+) with boy-girl twins I assume IVF.

But women at the end of their reproductive years are also more likely to conceive fraternal twins naturally.

But much more likely the result of reproductive assistance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.

Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.

You're real gullible if you think this.

Why? She could be talking about me. I have oops triplets.

You're the unicorn. Every single person I know with twins, and there are a lot of them, used fertility treatments.

Do you ask? Or assume?
I know several people (including my husband before IVF times) that are twins not from IVF. Grew up with several sets in my high school. I know some from fertility treatments but it’s probably about half and half so I find it hard to believe it’s “every single person I know with twins”.

I’m a twin and I feel like I see way more twins now. Also a lot more boy-girl twins where you know the egg didn’t split. When I see older parents (35+) with boy-girl twins I assume IVF.

But women at the end of their reproductive years are also more likely to conceive fraternal twins naturally.

[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a wealthy neighborhood and almost every family here has 3-4 in rapid succession. I grew up lower middle class and most families were 2 so I’d say it’s less of a “sign of the times” and more a sign of wealth.

Both DH and I grew up in wralthy 3 kid families. We only ever wanted 2 kids.

I grew up in a 2 kid family and desperately wanted more siblings. I would’ve gladly given away much of what I’ll inherit for a sister or more cousins for my kids.

+1

+1. I secretly held out hope that my parents would have another kid (a third kid) until I was 16. At that point it became obvious that they were not going to have another child. I still wish I had another sibling.

Sure you did

Anonymous wrote:If I wasn't totally infertile that would be me. 9 babies, 2 living. Sucks.

Justonemore??

I'm 46. I think I had one friend as a kid who was an only child, and one had three siblings. Every other close friend I can think of had one sibling.

I see a lot more three-kid families now and exponentially more one-kid families. I can't even count the number of people we know who have one child.

Anonymous wrote:We had 3, as do a lot of our friends. My neighborhood has almost every house full of 3 kids, but this is likely self selecting because families of 5 move to the suburbs and buy 5/6 bedroom homes so each kid can have a room.

Growing up I didn’t know many people who had more than 2 kids. Dh also came from a family of 2 and didn’t know many people with over two. I feel like most Boomers who had millennials had 2 kids only.

All 4 of our parents came from larger families of 4 or 5 kids. I grew up with dozens of cousins with massive Christmases but my kids will never have a cousin. Holidays are tiny for them. That was a big reason why I had 3, so I can have that big family feeling.

Same on all counts. 3 seems extremely common where I live. For us it felt like a happy medium between a small family and a big family.

With the two 3-kid families near me, the moms confessed their youngest were oops babies. Most of my friends are still planning for their second child, and claim to want to stop at 2.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking at everyone I know, I’d guess it is like this:

50% 2 DC
25% 3 DC
20% 1 DC
5% 4+ DC

I also know an absolute ton of couples that are childless by choice, or single people who never married or want to marry.

Most of the families I know with one DC didn’t plan on just one (for those who have said)…more commonly fertility issues or divorce/single parent.

A lot of the families with 3+ are due to an “oops”. I had a friend who had an oops #3 that turned into 3 & 4! twins. LOL.

I’d still say 2 seems to be the default.

Agree that a LOT Of the 3+ kid families are oops babies, or include multiples. I know two families that had oops triplets.

You're real gullible if you think this.

Why? She could be talking about me. I have oops triplets.

You're the unicorn. Every single person I know with twins, and there are a lot of them, used fertility treatments.

Do you ask? Or assume?
I know several people (including my husband before IVF times) that are twins not from IVF. Grew up with several sets in my high school. I know some from fertility treatments but it’s probably about half and half so I find it hard to believe it’s “every single person I know with twins”.

My mom did Clomid in the early 1980s. I would say that most twins are clomid or IUI twins and not from IVF.

We had 3, as do a lot of our friends. My neighborhood has almost every house full of 3 kids, but this is likely self selecting because families of 5 move to the suburbs and buy 5/6 bedroom homes so each kid can have a room.

Growing up I didn’t know many people who had more than 2 kids. Dh also came from a family of 2 and didn’t know many people with over two. I feel like most Boomers who had millennials had 2 kids only.

All 4 of our parents came from larger families of 4 or 5 kids. I grew up with dozens of cousins with massive Christmases but my kids will never have a cousin. Holidays are tiny for them. That was a big reason why I had 3, so I can have that big family feeling.