Anonymous wrote:Haven't read through all posts but I think it is 90% luck/genetic lottery. Both husband and I are high achieving, went to great schools blah blah and our kids did not inherit our natural abilities (one with some pretty rough LDS) and no amount of hard work on their part can overcome that.

We did all the BS stuff like no TV, no screens until later in ES, travel, enrichment, organic foods etc. It was all total BS. It really came down to genetics and their natural abilities at the end. Sure, we help with the hard work and exposure to the world, but without the innate natural ability and motivation, it doesn't matter much.

Same and I agree with this post. DH and I are the same and our elem kids so far seem to be pretty intrinsically motivated, the way we both have been (although starting our 40s, DH and I have both gotten less driven).

We’re skipping all enrichment, afterschool activities and other structured stuff for the kids, unless and until they ask for it and it’s logistically reasonable. We’ll see how it turns out, but so far the kids are great.

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read through all posts but I think it is 90% luck/genetic lottery. Both husband and I are high achieving, went to great schools blah blah and our kids did not inherit our natural abilities (one with some pretty rough LDS) and no amount of hard work on their part can overcome that.

We did all the BS stuff like no TV, no screens until later in ES, travel, enrichment, organic foods etc. It was all total BS. It really came down to genetics and their natural abilities at the end. Sure, we help with the hard work and exposure to the world, but without the innate natural ability and motivation, it doesn't matter much.

I am this poster and want to add one more thing. I truly think my parenting job is harder than that of my friends who have high-achieving kids. It is exhausting tutoring the kids every night, finding the right tutors, re-learning precalc so I can answer their questions on math problems, keeping on top of assignments.... I am envious of my friends who just say "my daughter studies all the time" but do not have to slog through every assignment with their kids. Point is, you can do everything "right" as a parent but your kids may not end up "high achievers" and it is not for lack of effort on the parents' part. I am putting in all this work just to help them maintain B grades (and lower for the one with LD).

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read through all posts but I think it is 90% luck/genetic lottery. Both husband and I are high achieving, went to great schools blah blah and our kids did not inherit our natural abilities (one with some pretty rough LDS) and no amount of hard work on their part can overcome that.

We did all the BS stuff like no TV, no screens until later in ES, travel, enrichment, organic foods etc. It was in total BS. It really came down to genetics and their natural abilities at the end. Sure, we help with the hard work and exposure to the world, but without the innate natural ability and motivation, it doesn't matter much.

At least you’re honest

Anonymous wrote:Haven't read through all posts but I think it is 90% luck/genetic lottery. Both husband and I are high achieving, went to great schools blah blah and our kids did not inherit our natural abilities (one with some pretty rough LDS) and no amount of hard work on their part can overcome that.

We did all the BS stuff like no TV, no screens until later in ES, travel, enrichment, organic foods etc. It was in total BS. It really came down to genetics and their natural abilities at the end. Sure, we help with the hard work and exposure to the world, but without the innate natural ability and motivation, it doesn't matter much.

This is us too. I go back and forth between being exasperated and just letting my kid be who they are going to be.

We all have ADHD and everyone in the family talks, all the time. I wish we were better at achieving quietness. But maybe this means we are all high achievers.

Hasn't worked for me yet, I'm a stay at home mother.

Haven't read through all posts but I think it is 90% luck/genetic lottery. Both husband and I are high achieving, went to great schools blah blah and our kids did not inherit our natural abilities (one with some pretty rough LDS) and no amount of hard work on their part can overcome that.

We did all the BS stuff like no TV, no screens until later in ES, travel, enrichment, organic foods etc. It was all total BS. It really came down to genetics and their natural abilities at the end. Sure, we help with the hard work and exposure to the world, but without the innate natural ability and motivation, it doesn't matter much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mostly genetic so try to procure the best DNA you can.

This. Procreate with a driven person and hope for the best.

What if my husband is just average and a slacker? :(

Divorce that loser

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s mostly genetic so try to procure the best DNA you can.

This. Procreate with a driven person and hope for the best.

What if my husband is just average and a slacker? :(

Anonymous wrote:Find a good mating partner.

DH and I are both high achievers in academics. Both sets of grandparents were also well educated high achievers. We do not come from a family of athletes. My son loves basketball but I just don’t think he has the genetic makeup for it. He is an average height Asian kid.

Then he won’t get the best of both worlds

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want them to be high achievers? Ask yourself sincerely. Is it an ego thing for you?

I don't care if my kids are high achievers. I want them to be happy, whatever form that takes for them. If they have the drive to get there then I'll nurture it as best I can but you can't create that from thin air.

Because we tigers

NP here. This sentiment is ridiculous (though I take your response in jest). OP, if you and your DH are bright and accomplished, then you know how to duplicate those efforts. It is not something tangible, necessarily. Unless you are into backbiting and backstabbing, I suppose (re: GPA and SAT, etc.). Allow your child to be their own person. Don't pick their school and major, that is just pathetic.

Find a good mating partner.

DH and I are both high achievers in academics. Both sets of grandparents were also well educated high achievers. We do not come from a family of athletes. My son loves basketball but I just don’t think he has the genetic makeup for it. He is an average height Asian kid.

Anonymous wrote:I am an average person and would like my child to have a chance at being a high achiever in life. How can I help or guide him?

Label them as adhd asd and diagnose them with anxiety disorder

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want them to be high achievers? Ask yourself sincerely. Is it an ego thing for you?

I don't care if my kids are high achievers. I want them to be happy, whatever form that takes for them. If they have the drive to get there then I'll nurture it as best I can but you can't create that from thin air.

Because we tigers

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not luck. It's tons of nurturing. Play lots of educational games with them. Do random math questions or spelling questions. We play jeopardy or "know your times tables" while driving in the car. Put them in extracurricular activities that they show promise in.

Whatever Jan

A well-nurtured achiever would know it's "Sure, Jan". "whatever" is anachronistic.

Why do you want them to be high achievers? Ask yourself sincerely. Is it an ego thing for you?

I don't care if my kids are high achievers. I want them to be happy, whatever form that takes for them. If they have the drive to get there then I'll nurture it as best I can but you can't create that from thin air.