Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

.

Its not that people are trying to berate others, more like recommending one option over other for those who have a choice. Infertility isn't an easy struggle, neither is raising special need kids, specially if you are getting older yourself. Medical science has evolved but we are still slaves of biological limitations. A lot of people are like JLo in their 50's but a lot also starts health struggles and those struggles aren't always caused by bad choices but also genetic or environmental.

This is disingenuous BS. Everyone has seen the nasty posts calling older moms granny moms and saying their kids must have special needs. This is even in response to the many women who have stated they had kids late and they were perfectly healthy and neurotypical. Older moms are not even allowed to own or state their experience without triggered posters jumping on them and telling them they’re wrong. FYI plenty of young people also struggle with infertility and special needs kids.

+1

Student debt (yours or your childs) housing instability and career stagnation aren’t “easy struggles” either.

That’s why they’re called struggles.

Posting as though a child at 40 is doomed to a life of incurable disability serves exactly one purpose: to try to convince women to ignore the (probably excellent) reason they have for not reproducing before 40.

Because you’re not standing up and applauding the 29 y/o mother who gets mommy tracked and then can’t afford tutoring for her neurodivergent child.

You’re not high-fiving the parents who can’t send their kids to college without huge loans.

You’re certainly not helping the single mother of three whose abusive boyfriend became her abusive husband but AT LEAST she didn’t leave him and find someone suitable before having children!

Anonymous wrote:29-33

+1

Was going to say 28-32, even if you have to have five kids in a row. Always sooner, never later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

.

Its not that people are trying to berate others, more like recommending one option over other for those who have a choice. Infertility isn't an easy struggle, neither is raising special need kids, specially if you are getting older yourself. Medical science has evolved but we are still slaves of biological limitations. A lot of people are like JLo in their 50's but a lot also starts health struggles and those struggles aren't always caused by bad choices but also genetic or environmental.

This is disingenuous BS. Everyone has seen the nasty posts calling older moms granny moms and saying their kids must have special needs. This is even in response to the many women who have stated they had kids late and they were perfectly healthy and neurotypical. Older moms are not even allowed to own or state their experience without triggered posters jumping on them and telling them they’re wrong. FYI plenty of young people also struggle with infertility and special needs kids.

It would be only fair if people making these choices get pros and cons of both choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

.

Its not that people are trying to berate others, more like recommending one option over other for those who have a choice. Infertility isn't an easy struggle, neither is raising special need kids, specially if you are getting older yourself. Medical science has evolved but we are still slaves of biological limitations. A lot of people are like JLo in their 50's but a lot also starts health struggles and those struggles aren't always caused by bad choices but also genetic or environmental.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

That's about accurate. I can't remember a post from a "young mom" that has been anything other than sunshine and roses berating 30 plus moms as grandmas who cant wven play with their kids. Your post is a welcome perspective.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:40. It was perfect.

no its not

DP. I had my kids in my 30s, but I know several men and women who became parents in their 40s, some planned and some surprises. They are invariably good parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are all bad, but somewhere between 23 and 45 are the best years.

Why are they all "bad?"

Not PP but I agree — every age has its challenges. When younger, the parents have less money and might still have some growing up off their own to do; when older, parents might have more health challenges and less flexibility; middle years are really bad for parents (especially mom’s) career. So 23-45 is the best range, no specific age within that range is ideal imo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

Because ignoring all those annoying details lets you ignore the misogyny and structural issues and just place the blame for a declining birth rate and later maternity FIRMLY where it belongs: on women. Just like all the other problems in the world.

Want women to have children younger? Write your Congressional representatives and advocate for a fully funded federal maternity leave of no less than one year. Write your Congressional representative in support of forgiving student debt for pregnant people.

Otherwise just be quiet and live in the sad misogynistic world you’ve created.

And don't complain about "equal pay" if you are advocating for unequal treatment.

Thank you for being Exhibition A of sad misogyny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

Obviously money plays a role.

Right, so it’s obviously nasty and disingenuous of people to unfairly target older mothers who may have wanted to wait until they were financially stable to have kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:40. It was perfect.

no its not

We don’t know each other, I believe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

Because ignoring all those annoying details lets you ignore the misogyny and structural issues and just place the blame for a declining birth rate and later maternity FIRMLY where it belongs: on women. Just like all the other problems in the world.

Want women to have children younger? Write your Congressional representatives and advocate for a fully funded federal maternity leave of no less than one year. Write your Congressional representative in support of forgiving student debt for pregnant people.

Otherwise just be quiet and live in the sad misogynistic world you’ve created.

And don't complain about "equal pay" if you are advocating for unequal treatment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

Obviously money plays a role.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.

Because ignoring all those annoying details lets you ignore the misogyny and structural issues and just place the blame for a declining birth rate and later maternity FIRMLY where it belongs: on women. Just like all the other problems in the world.

Want women to have children younger? Write your Congressional representatives and advocate for a fully funded federal maternity leave of no less than one year. Write your Congressional representative in support of forgiving student debt for pregnant people.

Otherwise just be quiet and live in the sad misogynistic world you’ve created.

Anonymous wrote:When you want and can care properly for them.

That will vary enormously by person. The right age for my first was 34 when I had achieved a career level that gave me six months of maternity leave and on-site childcare, as well as a plan to fully fund college.

I’m sure your kid will be thrilled to have student loan repayments hang over them for life so their mom could avoid being an “old mom”.

+1. I had my kids in my mid 20’s and early 30’s and and while it may have been physically easier, the detrimental effect it had on our finances and my career progression was so significant, I would not recommend this path to anyone, unless you have a very wealthy family that’s willing to help. I feel like this isn’t talked about enough here and instead there’s pages of posters berating people for being granny moms and having kids past 40.