I hadn’t thought about my first love in several years and one day in the middle of a work day in 2019 he came to mind, so I looked at his Facebook page, and he had died of cancer. He was not my first boyfriend or the only one before I met my husband, but it was my most significant relationship. I broke up with him and regretted it for years and longed for something I didn’t have. I got over it and it was very good that we did not end up together but I felt like when I thought of him out of the blue and he had died, it was like there was still enough of a connection for me to get this message.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, a few times a year, I feel very sad that I am no longer in touch with my college boyfriend. I loved him, but not in a romantic way. He was a great friend, though, and I really cared about him. We stayed friends for 13 years after we broke up, but for some reason, even though it was 100 percent not physical or romantic at that point, his wife suddenly said she did not want him in contact with me, so now we no longer speak at all. We had such a good friendship for years after the breakup, and then he was gone from my life, for no clear reason.

Team wife here. Smart woman.

haha. l love what wives like this—They can’t compete so they want to control the field. I am not a guy, but I imagine this does not feel good. Isn’t that like a rigged game or unfair ref?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have one that has lived rent-free in my head for the last 25 years. I check out what she's doing from time to time, but I'll never reach out to her. That would spoil the romantic aspects of my daydreaming, and that's where the thoughts will stay.

Dude, that is sad.

Spoken like a cynic. This sounds like me. I grew up reading a lot of literature and poetry. It’s romantic and hopeful. Nothing wrong with a daydream!

I go through long periods of not thinking about him, which is a huge improvement, but then a post like this comes up and cuts me. I’ll never forget him. Never.

Anonymous wrote:I have one that has lived rent-free in my head for the last 25 years. I check out what she's doing from time to time, but I'll never reach out to her. That would spoil the romantic aspects of my daydreaming, and that's where the thoughts will stay.

Dude, that is sad.

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends how old you were, how long the relationship lasted, and who ended it it. Tougher to forget formative year relationships in teens and early 20s and especially hard to forget if you were the one who was broken up with.

So true. I dated a lot before finding my spouse, but one in particular sticks out because he was so close to being Mr. Right, except for major life goals. I let him go and I married a more compatible version. Sometimes it makes me sad that we dated, because I think he and DH could have been amazing friends. DH is just slightly more MY person, if that makes sense. It’s eerie to have a miss that could have been such a close match.

Anonymous wrote:I have one that has lived rent-free in my head for the last 25 years. I check out what she's doing from time to time, but I'll never reach out to her. That would spoil the romantic aspects of my daydreaming, and that's where the thoughts will stay.

Why that specific one?

Anonymous wrote:No if it was real love. I am happily married but think of my college love very often.

What was it about them v. other exes?

Yes.

Yep.

I’m sure you can but I’m certainly
Have a tough time of it. Wonder if it’s A gender thing

I've never forgotten any of them but I'm certainly over them. If any of them came up as a suggested FB friend I would definitely look at their profile out of curiosity, but I'd be happy for them if they had a good life.

Yup!

I'm in my forties and still not over my college boyfriend.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, a few times a year, I feel very sad that I am no longer in touch with my college boyfriend. I loved him, but not in a romantic way. He was a great friend, though, and I really cared about him. We stayed friends for 13 years after we broke up, but for some reason, even though it was 100 percent not physical or romantic at that point, his wife suddenly said she did not want him in contact with me, so now we no longer speak at all. We had such a good friendship for years after the breakup, and then he was gone from my life, for no clear reason.

Team wife here. Smart woman.