Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Struggling with dry January doesn’t necessarily mean someone is an alcoholic. It could mean they have anxiety or are super shy and find it hard to socialize without a drink - even if they rarely have more than one. It could mean their work culture or social circle is alcohol focused and it’s awkward to not go along with the group - again, even if the person rarely has more than 1-2 drinks in an evening. Having been pregnant twice and abstaining during a long year of fertility treatments prior to that, living completely without alcohol is an adjustment. It’s more like taking on a keto diet than just trying to eat more whole grains and veggies. Or to use a money analogy, it’s more like giving up using credit and debit cards than reducing your spending on frivolous things. Even if you don’t have an alcohol addiction, it’s an adjustment that is not convenient.

What I would find concerning is if someone could not talk to their spouse without drinking at dinner or in the evening - or if someone had trouble abstaining from alcohol at home when not hosting / entertaining.

We can speculate but not speak for others. What is it like for you? —OP

For me it’s easy. I don’t do Dry January because I often go 2-3 weeks without a sip of alcohol without thinking about it at all. We have beer, wine, and spirits with mixers in the house at all times but we rarely drink unless we have guests. When we go out to dinner or a baseball game as a family, we don’t drink alcohol, but we do usually have 1-2 drinks when we’re out without our kids. We hosted 3 parties in the past 6 weeks - two with adults and children and one that was just adults. At two parties I had some wine. At the 3rd party I opened a Christmas Ale beer and then got busy hosting and found it when I was cleaning up, still half full. I go out with couples or my friends as well as to fundraisers, awards galas, and happy hours. Sometimes I have a drink, sometimes I don’t. It’s not something I think about much, so it surprises me when people talk about dry January like it’s hard or a big sacrifice. Of all the months of the year, I socialize the least in January so I’m sure I’ve accidentally had a dry January without even trying.

You’re not doing dry January because you’re not a functioning alcoholic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to be a once-per-month social drinker but had to stop entirely due to a medical issue. I don't miss the alcohol itself, but I miss the ritual and social aspects of it - a drink at a restaurant bar waiting for the table or happy hour with friends. Maybe this is part of the problem with those having difficulty with dry January. While I know that I can partake in non-alcoholic drinks in these settings, its not quite the same.

I don’t get how it is “not the same” when the vast majority of restaurants, hotel bars and bars have mocktail menus. What is different about sipping a virgin cocktail with muddled mint vs. a mojito?

DP. Do you really not understand how a little alcohol acts as a social lubricant? Makes everyone relax just a bit, loosen up? Not talking about getting drunk, but just a little bubblier. Alcohol makes things more fun before it starts to make things worse.

You need a “social lubricant” to sit at a restaurant bar waiting for a table with FRIENDS? You can’t sit and chat with your friends without alcohol? When I talk with friends as we wait for a table, I am not sniffing their glasses to see whether they are drinking a vodka soda or a club soda.

No, I don’t need it but I want it because it’s fun. I like to have fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Struggling with dry January doesn’t necessarily mean someone is an alcoholic. It could mean they have anxiety or are super shy and find it hard to socialize without a drink - even if they rarely have more than one. It could mean their work culture or social circle is alcohol focused and it’s awkward to not go along with the group - again, even if the person rarely has more than 1-2 drinks in an evening. Having been pregnant twice and abstaining during a long year of fertility treatments prior to that, living completely without alcohol is an adjustment. It’s more like taking on a keto diet than just trying to eat more whole grains and veggies. Or to use a money analogy, it’s more like giving up using credit and debit cards than reducing your spending on frivolous things. Even if you don’t have an alcohol addiction, it’s an adjustment that is not convenient.

What I would find concerning is if someone could not talk to their spouse without drinking at dinner or in the evening - or if someone had trouble abstaining from alcohol at home when not hosting / entertaining.

We can speculate but not speak for others. What is it like for you? —OP

For me it’s easy. I don’t do Dry January because I often go 2-3 weeks without a sip of alcohol without thinking about it at all. We have beer, wine, and spirits with mixers in the house at all times but we rarely drink unless we have guests. When we go out to dinner or a baseball game as a family, we don’t drink alcohol, but we do usually have 1-2 drinks when we’re out without our kids. We hosted 3 parties in the past 6 weeks - two with adults and children and one that was just adults. At two parties I had some wine. At the 3rd party I opened a Christmas Ale beer and then got busy hosting and found it when I was cleaning up, still half full. I go out with couples or my friends as well as to fundraisers, awards galas, and happy hours. Sometimes I have a drink, sometimes I don’t. It’s not something I think about much, so it surprises me when people talk about dry January like it’s hard or a big sacrifice. Of all the months of the year, I socialize the least in January so I’m sure I’ve accidentally had a dry January without even trying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Struggling with dry January doesn’t necessarily mean someone is an alcoholic. It could mean they have anxiety or are super shy and find it hard to socialize without a drink - even if they rarely have more than one. It could mean their work culture or social circle is alcohol focused and it’s awkward to not go along with the group - again, even if the person rarely has more than 1-2 drinks in an evening. Having been pregnant twice and abstaining during a long year of fertility treatments prior to that, living completely without alcohol is an adjustment. It’s more like taking on a keto diet than just trying to eat more whole grains and veggies. Or to use a money analogy, it’s more like giving up using credit and debit cards than reducing your spending on frivolous things. Even if you don’t have an alcohol addiction, it’s an adjustment that is not convenient.

What I would find concerning is if someone could not talk to their spouse without drinking at dinner or in the evening - or if someone had trouble abstaining from alcohol at home when not hosting / entertaining.

We can speculate but not speak for others. What is it like for you? —OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here — I came from a heavy drinking family and culture. Several close relatives and family friends owned and managed bars while I was growing up. Consequently, i spent a lot of time in bars even as a child. I saw people who didn’t have a problem, and people who said they didn’t have a problem. I’m not opposed to drinking. I’m just fascinated by the concept of dry January (be it alcohol or cannabis or … shopping). I’m Catholic so abstaining from something is not a foreign concept to me, so adding dry January sometimes seems like a repetitive concept. I rarely drink to the point that some friends/neighbors (not all) in the DMV make a point to say something that I’m having a drink. It’s weird because I don’t think of myself as a non-drinker but I guess it’s all relative when I have a drink maybe 4x a year and friends have a drink or more every week.

Again the thing that struck me was how many people (my age and younger) in the conversation said that dry January would be a struggle. I would not have beeen surprised if they were boomers or older. Although I shouldn’t have been surprised since COVID closures didn’t negatively affect ABC stores and takeout alcohol restrictions were relaxed.

That’s because actual alcoholics account for something like 80% of alcohol sales. Liquor stores weren’t closed specifically because we didn’t need our ERs full of withdrawing alcoholics. It wasn’t because of the wine moms. I can’t believe how many people still don’t understand this.

What the demographics of those alcoholics? How do you know 80% of the people buying alcohol are alcoholics?

Are you suggesting that non-alcoholics just buy drinks at restaurants and not for home consumption?

Anonymous wrote:My sister never drank much and never smoked or dig any other drugs. She was a successful attorney, married with three children. She started drinking more as she got older and by the time she was on her 50s, she had gotten a DUI and went to rehab. She became a full-blown alcoholic, her husband divorced her over it and she is in terrible health.

The point of telling this story is to say that your drinking habits can change over a lifetime and it can become a problem at any age. People should be cautious around alcohol and honestly assess their drinking every so often. So if a dry January makes someone consider what it's like to go without, that's probably a positive thing.

Also, I know many people who quit without calling themselves alcoholics for health or other reasons, so you can do without without having to "hit bottom."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here — I came from a heavy drinking family and culture. Several close relatives and family friends owned and managed bars while I was growing up. Consequently, i spent a lot of time in bars even as a child. I saw people who didn’t have a problem, and people who said they didn’t have a problem. I’m not opposed to drinking. I’m just fascinated by the concept of dry January (be it alcohol or cannabis or … shopping). I’m Catholic so abstaining from something is not a foreign concept to me, so adding dry January sometimes seems like a repetitive concept. I rarely drink to the point that some friends/neighbors (not all) in the DMV make a point to say something that I’m having a drink. It’s weird because I don’t think of myself as a non-drinker but I guess it’s all relative when I have a drink maybe 4x a year and friends have a drink or more every week.

Again the thing that struck me was how many people (my age and younger) in the conversation said that dry January would be a struggle. I would not have beeen surprised if they were boomers or older. Although I shouldn’t have been surprised since COVID closures didn’t negatively affect ABC stores and takeout alcohol restrictions were relaxed.

That’s because actual alcoholics account for something like 80% of alcohol sales. Liquor stores weren’t closed specifically because we didn’t need our ERs full of withdrawing alcoholics. It wasn’t because of the wine moms. I can’t believe how many people still don’t understand this.

What the demographics of those alcoholics? How do you know 80% of the people buying alcohol are alcoholics?

Are you suggesting that non-alcoholics just buy drinks at restaurants and not for home consumption?

Anonymous wrote:
I think the whole idea of "dry Jan" or "no-spend Jan" is for people who are impulsive and have bad habits they want to break. The rest of us can just continue with our lives.

I don't actually know many people who MUST have alcohol during get-togethers, otherwise it's not fun for them. The people who need their wine are my aunts and my godmother, all in their 70s. They come from a drinking culture. My cousins and I lead much healthier lives (no smoking, vaping, weed, or alcohol). My friends don't drink, or have one glass 3 times a year, that sort of thing.

So... in my circle, there's no point to a dry month. My aunts will continue to drink a ton, and the rest of us will continue to not.



I was thinking the same thing for no-spend January. For people who aren't impulsive spenders, there's no point either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here — I came from a heavy drinking family and culture. Several close relatives and family friends owned and managed bars while I was growing up. Consequently, i spent a lot of time in bars even as a child. I saw people who didn’t have a problem, and people who said they didn’t have a problem. I’m not opposed to drinking. I’m just fascinated by the concept of dry January (be it alcohol or cannabis or … shopping). I’m Catholic so abstaining from something is not a foreign concept to me, so adding dry January sometimes seems like a repetitive concept. I rarely drink to the point that some friends/neighbors (not all) in the DMV make a point to say something that I’m having a drink. It’s weird because I don’t think of myself as a non-drinker but I guess it’s all relative when I have a drink maybe 4x a year and friends have a drink or more every week.

Again the thing that struck me was how many people (my age and younger) in the conversation said that dry January would be a struggle. I would not have beeen surprised if they were boomers or older. Although I shouldn’t have been surprised since COVID closures didn’t negatively affect ABC stores and takeout alcohol restrictions were relaxed.

That’s because actual alcoholics account for something like 80% of alcohol sales. Liquor stores weren’t closed specifically because we didn’t need our ERs full of withdrawing alcoholics. It wasn’t because of the wine moms. I can’t believe how many people still don’t understand this.