Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 21:41     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I suspect OP really just doesn't like leisurely dinners with courses. They probably only drink coffee while they are walking or driving to save time and avoid people they don't like.


This is all about OP seething over having to spend one extra second at the table with her Mil or FIL.


Nailed it.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 21:39     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:Sending you love, OP.


+1. Thoughts and prayers to OP during this trying time.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 21:36     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:Some of you don’t know how to be gracious hosts


Exactly! OP-horrors! I am a boomer and have never had coffee in my entire life nor alcohol. But, if someone enjoys drinking coffee, alcohol, whatever, why do you want to dictate their choices and police them.? You sound insanely rigid. Why not life and let live? Do you have some sort of anxiety disorder or something?
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 21:10     Subject: Re:Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Crazy b forgot the meds.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 20:56     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:
I'm French. Many people drink coffee after a meal, indeed in France it's all the rage now to have "cafe gourmand", which means a plate of mini desserts to go with your coffee. You're SUPPOSED to take a leisurely time with it. And if you already had dessert, and now you want coffee, the waiter will think that's normal too. Because coffee at any time is normal!

It's the same in many countries around the world. Turkey, for instance.

So before you enrage yourself at people, please pause for a moment to remind yourself that it's rude to police what other people drink at mealtimes, and it's not healthy to bolt your food and rush out.

I do agree that it's important to read the room: if there's a poor schmuck who forgot he needed a little espresso and orders it after everyone has eaten dessert and no one else wants coffee... then he should probably ask whether they want to leave, or are ready to chat while he sips.

But I still don't think this warrants ranting on DCUM. Bad for your blood pressure. Have a chocolate and calm down, OP. Think about your Christmas or next holiday meal. Dream about buche de Noel! This is a time of joy, togetherness and indulgence.





I think you are confusing a French cultural truism with sctual truth. Actually it is better to be active after eating, better for your blood sugar.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 20:28     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Some of you don’t know how to be gracious hosts
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 19:27     Subject: Re:Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:OP is giving off quite a bit of Mrs Costanza energy:



😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 18:44     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Honestly there’s a little bit of a safety issue. If you’re hosting people and they’ve had a big carby dinner and a couple of glasses of wine, it’s not a bad idea to offer them some coffee before they get in the road home. Holiday meals are so soporific.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 18:34     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
45 year old here. On the rare occasions when I order dessert I often get coffee too. When I don’t want dessert but others do, I order a cappuccino or cafe au lait. Everything I order is decaf.

Didn’t know Bourdain ranted about people who order decaf, but I’m not sorry I do it. I had hyperthyroidism for years and couldn’t handle caffeine. I drink coffee because I like it, not because I need a jolt.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 18:29     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:I will say I don’t know anyone under the age of 50 who regularly serves coffee with dessert. If they’re doing it, it’s because someone old asked for it, or there are older people at the restaurant in our party.



I am 40 years old and always, always order coffee with dessert.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 15:39     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
I serve coffee with dessert if I'm hosting a holiday meal or a dinner party, but i don't serve either of those things if it's a regular weeknight dinner or a multi-day houseguest. There is coffee and there's probably some ice cream in the freezer or something, help yourself. But I don't "serve" coffee and dessert outside of special occasion meals. And I don't have tea at all (though I'd buy some if I new a guest liked to drink it).

I agree that if you want coffee/tea at a restaurant you should order it with your dessert, not after.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 13:36     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:I will say I don’t know anyone under the age of 50 who regularly serves coffee with dessert. If they’re doing it, it’s because someone old asked for it, or there are older people at the restaurant in our party.


What? I’m 39 and whenever we entertain we always put on a pit of coffee as I get dessert ready to serve and ask if anyone would like tea. This seems pretty standard to me
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 13:07     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I agree. When my in laws visit, my FIL always ask "Is there coffee?" when we bring out dessert. Nope, there's no coffee. Feel free to make some while we enjoy dessert though.

Why wouldn’t you serve coffee with dessert if you know that someone will always ask for it?


NP. Because one person out of a large gathering of people wanting something = he’s the outlier. What if someone asked “Is there Code Red Mountain Dew”? What if someone else said “Is there a cheese course”? What if someone else wanted a different kind of dessert than what was on offer? “What about any of those After Eight mints, got any of those”? Like, there are tons of things one could reasonably want or enjoy after dinner and dessert. But that doesn’t mean you should ask your hosts for yet more hospitality.

I dislike pie. I don’t ask for an alternative on Thanksgiving when that is all my ILs serve. That would be rude.


This is her husband's father who is probably well into his senior citizen years. Seems like a weird way to make a point.


I agree. Try to be a little more gracious.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 13:04     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:To those who like coffee with dessert:

Doesn't a coffee so late hurt your sleep or ability to get to sleep?

I thought coffee after dinner was to give you a boost before going out on the town. To see a show or go boozing. If it's just a normal family dinner and you're just headed home right after, why do you want the caffeine boost?


it's a boost before driving home. no, it doesn't interrupt.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2023 13:03     Subject: Expecting coffee with dessert is annoying and passé
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I agree. When my in laws visit, my FIL always ask "Is there coffee?" when we bring out dessert. Nope, there's no coffee. Feel free to make some while we enjoy dessert though.

Why wouldn’t you serve coffee with dessert if you know that someone will always ask for it?


NP. Because one person out of a large gathering of people wanting something = he’s the outlier. What if someone asked “Is there Code Red Mountain Dew”? What if someone else said “Is there a cheese course”? What if someone else wanted a different kind of dessert than what was on offer? “What about any of those After Eight mints, got any of those”? Like, there are tons of things one could reasonably want or enjoy after dinner and dessert. But that doesn’t mean you should ask your hosts for yet more hospitality.

I dislike pie. I don’t ask for an alternative on Thanksgiving when that is all my ILs serve. That would be rude.


This is her husband's father who is probably well into his senior citizen years. Seems like a weird way to make a point.