The max number of actual people who have NPD is estimated to be 6.5%, and likely lower. Reading DCUM you'd think that one out of every three people (mostly mothers/MILs/husbands) seem to have NPD.

Anyone wonder why?

Anonymous wrote:I am estranged from my mother and am totally fine knowing I will not be an heir. I assume she will give to her favorite charities. I’m just curious about others’ experiences. Did your narc parent viciously disinherit you by name and you heard this at the reading of the will, or were you simply omitted or were you surprised to inherit after all?

Mine has no money but whatever she has will have to go to pay her debts. Big spendthrift

Anonymous wrote:There is no formal “reading of the will.” You would be notified by mail if you are included in the will.

This. It is not even close to what we see happen in the movies!

Seems like in every other thread the advice it to cut off bad family, no family is better than bad family, and life is too short. Until there is money to be had. Then suddenly we should all be family, spit it even Steven, lest there be bad blood amongst relatives. So, why don't people play the long game and stick with their family until the bitter end?

I hope they spend it on care to manage their health and home in their senile years. I am the scapegoat child who would’ve cared for them but they treat my golden child brother with mental illness and a terrible temper much better. He can care for them or try to but he is not actually capable so they’ll need to hire someone.

If you live in a communist country, does this issue not exist?

My mother left the little she had to my criminal sister and criminal brother and my youngest sister, who literally hated my mother and told her so for forty years.

Thank god last month she passed. I am finally at peace. I never have to talk to one of them again.

I have been on my own since I was 17 financially.

The only sad thing about this was my kids had shitty grandparents and even worse aunts and uncles.

It's not as much who as how. In fact, the who could be like playing musical chairs until they pass because they place people on pedestals and then despise them. They play power games with money while alive and once dead. There will likely be multiple changes to wills or trusts. There will likely be plenty of threats before. There will be likely some taking advantage of the kindness of one kid only to turn on her or him. There will definitely be dramatics while still alive and a plan to punish beyond the grave. There will also likely be a plan to create a full shrine to them after if they have money. It can range from a building with their name if mega rick, to a fancy bench with their name by their grave where they expect you to visit them often. (Don't get me wrong, we did a bench for a beloved grandparent, but we chose it, not him). Any donations to charities they give in their will/trust will involve putting their name of something so people know they did this. It will NOT be anonymous.

Anonymous wrote:To screw you and your family up they’ll pick one kid of yours or enemy and given them all the money. Then hope there’s lying and squabbling for ever about it.

Exactly. FIL left all (about $2M) to one sister, and left DH and BIL completely out of the will. There was no relationship between the siblings before, so no change there, but it has repercussions on the next generation. Stupid and sad, although I have never told our kids (young adults now) and don't plan to.

Anonymous wrote:Who do narcissistic children focus on?

The person they have been taught to focus on. Just look at the Trump family for an example.

Anonymous wrote:Your parents don’t owe anyone any money. They can spend all they have. If there’s anything left, they can give to whoever they like. If you maintain no relationship with them, you shouldn’t expect any money left for you.

Wrong thread Pp.

This thread is about manipulative narcissists using their money to sow deep and permanent divisions. Don’t enable or benefit from them, that makes you one too.

Your parents don’t owe anyone any money. They can spend all they have. If there’s anything left, they can give to whoever they like. If you maintain no relationship with them, you shouldn’t expect any money left for you.

Anonymous wrote:To screw you and your family up they’ll pick one kid of yours or enemy and given them all the money. Then hope there’s lying and squabbling for ever about it.

This is likely to happen with my narc mom. Wishing peace to all those targeted by narcs trying to continue to victimize from beyond the grave. Those that continue to enable or minimize are also painful.

To screw you and your family up they’ll pick one kid of yours or enemy and given them all the money. Then hope there’s lying and squabbling for ever about it.

Anonymous wrote:Mine talks about her will and her lawyer a lot. I get the sense she makes an appointment to change things every time she happy or unhappy with me. But yeah, I think she’s leaving most of it to my kids and a good amount to her church. I haven’t done what she wanted- let her walk all over me and my husband and tell us how to run our lives- so I’m pretty sure I’m getting a couple dollars and a ten page lecture and how much she feels sorry for me for her jr ting her way.

The vast majority of people do not talk about their wills etc. I do remember one gross instance - a step GM of decades. Scope of her actions have included 529's - as account owner after death of spouse has chosen to pay fines and penalties on the earnings to get the cash and not use it for tuition for the intended beneficiary [now in college].