Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as a platonic friendship between a heterosexual man and woman, at least anything more than a very superficial one. When it's these very involved years long things there is always a strong sexual or emotional undercurrent on one or both sides and frequently both sides. The guy is only wasting his time with it because it feeds his fantasy of having sex with the woman. The woman feeds the fantasy for the attention she gets. It's only a matter of chance when it crosses over to something physical. The woman always says "I never knew it would happen, we were just good friends. It just happened." A game as old as time. People claiming otherwise are gaslighting b.s. artists who are looking to cheat or active cheaters themselves.

You sound deranged

There is no such thing as a platonic friendship between a heterosexual man and woman, at least anything more than a very superficial one. When it's these very involved years long things there is always a strong sexual or emotional undercurrent on one or both sides and frequently both sides. The guy is only wasting his time with it because it feeds his fantasy of having sex with the woman. The woman feeds the fantasy for the attention she gets. It's only a matter of chance when it crosses over to something physical. The woman always says "I never knew it would happen, we were just good friends. It just happened." A game as old as time. People claiming otherwise are gaslighting b.s. artists who are looking to cheat or active cheaters themselves.

I would not be ok with it but my husband has never really had friends that are females.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eve if the friendship is “innocent” in the eyes of the female let’s not lie to ourselves that men don’t get a little thrill out of being the shoulder to cry on and the vent buddy of another female. That men don’t get some sick thrill out of upsetting their wife when she isn’t naive to this fact and notices it but he just bats his eyelashes and continues to insist Suzy is just a friend. It’s an ego stroke for men.

As a man I'm very glad I'm married to a woman who doesn't have these kind of deranged views.

+1 in that that was an awful post that reduces men to inherently manipulative beings who are incapable of having a relationship with a woman that isn’t based on revenge or sex. To the “lets not lie to ourselves” poster, I hope that before my sons turn into adults toxic ideas like this about masculinity die out.

Anonymous wrote:Eve if the friendship is “innocent” in the eyes of the female let’s not lie to ourselves that men don’t get a little thrill out of being the shoulder to cry on and the vent buddy of another female. That men don’t get some sick thrill out of upsetting their wife when she isn’t naive to this fact and notices it but he just bats his eyelashes and continues to insist Suzy is just a friend. It’s an ego stroke for men.

As a man I'm very glad I'm married to a woman who doesn't have these kind of deranged views.

Anonymous wrote:Not enough info to send make a judgement call. DH has a few women he texts with regularly. I have never felt threatened.

- Married 21 years.

Same but later on I found out they were having sex. Nip it quick.

Yeah my ex husband was “just” friends with a woman when a few months after our divorce guess who he ended up with?

Eve if the friendship is “innocent” in the eyes of the female let’s not lie to ourselves that men don’t get a little thrill out of being the shoulder to cry on and the vent buddy of another female. That men don’t get some sick thrill out of upsetting their wife when she isn’t naive to this fact and notices it but he just bats his eyelashes and continues to insist Suzy is just a friend. It’s an ego stroke for men.

Anonymous wrote:I mean ... it wouldn't be the first time a woman who had long-ago friend-zoned a man thought better of it and started stepping it up even though he's married.

This does sound like OP’s situation

Anonymous wrote:If you wanted to be a decent person you wouldn't want to make the lives of these men difficult.

Oh poor poor men!!

I mean ... it wouldn't be the first time a woman who had long-ago friend-zoned a man thought better of it and started stepping it up even though he's married.

If you wanted to be a decent person you wouldn't want to make the lives of these men difficult.

Most women won’t cold-shoulder for no reason. Most women I know talk about how hard it is to make new girl friends as a mom in your 30s and would be happy to meet a friendly woman. Yea you’ll probably get a cold shoulder for texting and calling their husbands though! No one to blame but yourself there

Divorced woman here. These posts drive me a little crazy. I have two male friends, both are husbands of woman I’ve known and was friends with since before I was married so over 15 years. Each of them helps me with something; they are both finance people and I help them in my area of expertise. There are times when we are in constant contact by text and sometimes by phone & email if they are helping me intensely or just in a funny/social way. There is absolutely zero going on I have no designs on them and it is 100% platonic. They are other women’s husbands and are just helping me. We don’t even live in the same place. Each of their wives has cold shouldered me and I’ve now wound up more friendly with the husbands. It’s really annoying when the wives won’t also be friends, I’d rather be friends with the couple.

Check me out on weddingbee, I’m a regular hoot over there!