Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on what kind of baby and kid you have. The ones on here saying easier got children who slept and ate well and were generally low needs. My daughter barely slept 11 hours in a 24 hour period throughout infancy and toddlerhood and I wasn’t able to even eat, shower, or brush my teeth most days let alone leave her with anyone else (not even her dad) because she was/is SO high needs and clingy. So for me, it was orders of magnitude harder than I expected.

This is crazy. You simply put the baby down and brush your teeth. Use a carrier. The baby will scream and the baby will eventually learn. My last baby was clingy and we started with a minute at a time of not holding her.

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 10, 8 and 4.5 and it has been hard at every step, but in different ways. Of course having 3 it’s more demanding than 1 or 2 and you go through some phases multiple times or for longer periods.
The baby years are hard because of the lack of sleep. That will be over very soon. But after that you have the preschool years, the tantrum, the difficulties detaching, the first school, first friends , etc. In elementary school (where I am) it’s hard because of sports, friendships, homework, school applications, speech therapy, birthday parties, school events. Of course if you only have one kid this will be much more manageable. With 3 kids our weekends are crazy busy with zero time to relax, watch a movie, have brunch, etc.
There is also the worries that increase with age.

It’s always hard… I thought the baby phase was the hardest, but middle elementary is possibly harder for me because of the crazy scheduling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not give parenting a single thought before I became a mom but once my kids were born I actually found parenting joyful. I think this was due to lots of things working in our favor and a lot of luck. Also, I did not have to contend with the stressors others are talking about.

I am a SAHM so I did not have the stress of a job like many mothers do. I have only 2 kids who are spaced 5 years apart so I was never juggling multiple small kids at the same time. We were ok financially so I could outsource stuff, and my wonderful parents helped for the first few years of birth. We never had a nanny or babysitter for our kids and took cues from our kids. For example, we co-slept for many years, nursed on demand, EBF for 9 months, did not sleep train or let them CIO, took them everywhere with us, did not use pacifier or screens. My kids were toilet trained quite early without much effort too. My DH is also very capable, involved and a cheerful parent to have around, so my kids are equally bonded with him. They are in their late teens and early twenties now.

BUT, as I have said, we did not have other stressors in life which many people have that can make parenting harder. Also, we were very lucky that we were not dealing with difficult issues like health, finances, eldercare etc.

Based on what you describe, I wouldn’t be surprised if your husband leaves you. Your husband is clearly not a priority for you. You live for your kids. He is likely scared of you and going along with it. You’ll be shocked by the divorce and tell everyone how you gave up everything for him. But he never demanded you give up your entire life and identity for kids.

Anonymous wrote:Idk why moms have to do 90% of tge child raising on top of doing pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding.

Anonymous wrote:I did not give parenting a single thought before I became a mom but once my kids were born I actually found parenting joyful. I think this was due to lots of things working in our favor and a lot of luck. Also, I did not have to contend with the stressors others are talking about.

I am a SAHM so I did not have the stress of a job like many mothers do. I have only 2 kids who are spaced 5 years apart so I was never juggling multiple small kids at the same time. We were ok financially so I could outsource stuff, and my wonderful parents helped for the first few years of birth. We never had a nanny or babysitter for our kids and took cues from our kids. For example, we co-slept for many years, nursed on demand, EBF for 9 months, did not sleep train or let them CIO, took them everywhere with us, did not use pacifier or screens. My kids were toilet trained quite early without much effort too. My DH is also very capable, involved and a cheerful parent to have around, so my kids are equally bonded with him. They are in their late teens and early twenties now.

BUT, as I have said, we did not have other stressors in life which many people have that can make parenting harder. Also, we were very lucky that we were not dealing with difficult issues like health, finances, eldercare etc.

Anonymous wrote:I did not give parenting a single thought before I became a mom but once my kids were born I actually found parenting joyful. I think this was due to lots of things working in our favor and a lot of luck. Also, I did not have to contend with the stressors others are talking about.

I am a SAHM so I did not have the stress of a job like many mothers do. I have only 2 kids who are spaced 5 years apart so I was never juggling multiple small kids at the same time. We were ok financially so I could outsource stuff, and my wonderful parents helped for the first few years of birth. We never had a nanny or babysitter for our kids and took cues from our kids. For example, we co-slept for many years, nursed on demand, EBF for 9 months, did not sleep train or let them CIO, took them everywhere with us, did not use pacifier or screens. My kids were toilet trained quite early without much effort too. My DH is also very capable, involved and a cheerful parent to have around, so my kids are equally bonded with him. They are in their late teens and early twenties now.

BUT, as I have said, we did not have other stressors in life which many people have that can make parenting harder. Also, we were very lucky that we were not dealing with difficult issues like health, finances, eldercare etc.

Anonymous wrote:It depends on what kind of baby and kid you have. The ones on here saying easier got children who slept and ate well and were generally low needs. My daughter barely slept 11 hours in a 24 hour period throughout infancy and toddlerhood and I wasn’t able to even eat, shower, or brush my teeth most days let alone leave her with anyone else (not even her dad) because she was/is SO high needs and clingy. So for me, it was orders of magnitude harder than I expected.