Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree the issue is that OP and others in this circle are catty b's who like to ask seemingly innocuous questions of certain people and then twist it and gossip about it to trash them behind their back.

I worked in a place like this once and here's how you'd figure out what was going on and become *private* about seeming unimportant stuff:

Monday: You have a lighthearted conversation with a colleague about lunch, and tell them about how you're excited about the salad you brought that day because you've been on a big kick with trying out new combos and ingredients.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Colleague eagerly asks about your lunch each day and expresses an interest in your salads, seems enthusiastic.

Thursday: You walk into the kitchen at lunch and colleague is talking to someone else when you walk in but they both become silent when they see you and even though you don't know what they were talking about, you feel weird.

Friday: Someone you barely know stops you in the hallway to say they heard "all about" your salads and wanting to know what "crazy" combo you brought in that day.

Does any of this matter? No. Does it make you feel good? Also no. And that is how you learn to offer non-committal or vague responses to questions, because you don't feel like feeding a rumor mill so active and nasty that people sit around gossiping about what Kate in accounting packed for lunch on Thursday.

You do realize that you sound insane, I hope.

It's not insane. People don't like being talked about, even if the thing that is being gossiped about is boring and dumb.

OP is mad because someone she knows is evasive when OP asks her questions. She thinks it's strange. But I guess I'm sometimes evasive when people ask me questions and this is why. Because in the past I've found that people aren't actually trying to get to know me or even just to pass the time talking to me. They are just collecting info about people so they can gossip later. My guess is that OP is one such person because otherwise, why would she care if this person tells her what she's having for lunch? It truly does not matter? Why does OP need to know?

+1

Witness that in the OP:
OP has made a determination of whether the person has mental illnes.
OP thought it was just her, but has asked around, and learned the person does with others.
OP and several others are now interested in this matter, to varying degrees.

So OP has already made a big issue of nothing and involved several people.

+1 Could you imagine if OP actually got some info?

This. The person who says "I don't know" does know OP is a gossip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree the issue is that OP and others in this circle are catty b's who like to ask seemingly innocuous questions of certain people and then twist it and gossip about it to trash them behind their back.

I worked in a place like this once and here's how you'd figure out what was going on and become *private* about seeming unimportant stuff:

Monday: You have a lighthearted conversation with a colleague about lunch, and tell them about how you're excited about the salad you brought that day because you've been on a big kick with trying out new combos and ingredients.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Colleague eagerly asks about your lunch each day and expresses an interest in your salads, seems enthusiastic.

Thursday: You walk into the kitchen at lunch and colleague is talking to someone else when you walk in but they both become silent when they see you and even though you don't know what they were talking about, you feel weird.

Friday: Someone you barely know stops you in the hallway to say they heard "all about" your salads and wanting to know what "crazy" combo you brought in that day.

Does any of this matter? No. Does it make you feel good? Also no. And that is how you learn to offer non-committal or vague responses to questions, because you don't feel like feeding a rumor mill so active and nasty that people sit around gossiping about what Kate in accounting packed for lunch on Thursday.

You do realize that you sound insane, I hope.

It's not insane. People don't like being talked about, even if the thing that is being gossiped about is boring and dumb.

OP is mad because someone she knows is evasive when OP asks her questions. She thinks it's strange. But I guess I'm sometimes evasive when people ask me questions and this is why. Because in the past I've found that people aren't actually trying to get to know me or even just to pass the time talking to me. They are just collecting info about people so they can gossip later. My guess is that OP is one such person because otherwise, why would she care if this person tells her what she's having for lunch? It truly does not matter? Why does OP need to know?

+1

Witness that in the OP:
OP has made a determination of whether the person has mental illnes.
OP thought it was just her, but has asked around, and learned the person does with others.
OP and several others are now interested in this matter, to varying degrees.

So OP has already made a big issue of nothing and involved several people.

+1 Could you imagine if OP actually got some info?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree the issue is that OP and others in this circle are catty b's who like to ask seemingly innocuous questions of certain people and then twist it and gossip about it to trash them behind their back.

I worked in a place like this once and here's how you'd figure out what was going on and become *private* about seeming unimportant stuff:

Monday: You have a lighthearted conversation with a colleague about lunch, and tell them about how you're excited about the salad you brought that day because you've been on a big kick with trying out new combos and ingredients.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Colleague eagerly asks about your lunch each day and expresses an interest in your salads, seems enthusiastic.

Thursday: You walk into the kitchen at lunch and colleague is talking to someone else when you walk in but they both become silent when they see you and even though you don't know what they were talking about, you feel weird.

Friday: Someone you barely know stops you in the hallway to say they heard "all about" your salads and wanting to know what "crazy" combo you brought in that day.

Does any of this matter? No. Does it make you feel good? Also no. And that is how you learn to offer non-committal or vague responses to questions, because you don't feel like feeding a rumor mill so active and nasty that people sit around gossiping about what Kate in accounting packed for lunch on Thursday.

This is funny. I had something like this happen to me at work one time.

Anonymous wrote:Agree the issue is that OP and others in this circle are catty b's who like to ask seemingly innocuous questions of certain people and then twist it and gossip about it to trash them behind their back.

I worked in a place like this once and here's how you'd figure out what was going on and become *private* about seeming unimportant stuff:

Monday: You have a lighthearted conversation with a colleague about lunch, and tell them about how you're excited about the salad you brought that day because you've been on a big kick with trying out new combos and ingredients.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Colleague eagerly asks about your lunch each day and expresses an interest in your salads, seems enthusiastic.

Thursday: You walk into the kitchen at lunch and colleague is talking to someone else when you walk in but they both become silent when they see you and even though you don't know what they were talking about, you feel weird.

Friday: Someone you barely know stops you in the hallway to say they heard "all about" your salads and wanting to know what "crazy" combo you brought in that day.

Does any of this matter? No. Does it make you feel good? Also no. And that is how you learn to offer non-committal or vague responses to questions, because you don't feel like feeding a rumor mill so active and nasty that people sit around gossiping about what Kate in accounting packed for lunch on Thursday.

Anonymous wrote:This is my in laws exactly!!! They also lie often about weird and perplexing things that can easily be disproven.

They lack intellectual curiosity and prefer to keep everything super surface level. They do not ask each other questions. It’s odd. I think it’s also linked in some way to extreme avoidant tendencies around conflict.

I’ve learned not to ask them questions or try to have conversations with them. They seem to like me better now that I stopped conversing with them.

Anonymous wrote:I used to say "I don't know" a lot when I was a child. It can mean any of the following:
I don't want to have a conversation with you.
I'm feeling a strong feeling that is more important than your stupid question. Leave me alone.
I actually don't know.
This is personal and I don't want to reveal the answer to you.
I don't want you to know me.
You're embarrassing me.
I don't care about the topic enough to have an opinion.
I'm indecisive.
If I answer this question, you will ask me another question and I don't want you to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree the issue is that OP and others in this circle are catty b's who like to ask seemingly innocuous questions of certain people and then twist it and gossip about it to trash them behind their back.

I worked in a place like this once and here's how you'd figure out what was going on and become *private* about seeming unimportant stuff:

Monday: You have a lighthearted conversation with a colleague about lunch, and tell them about how you're excited about the salad you brought that day because you've been on a big kick with trying out new combos and ingredients.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Colleague eagerly asks about your lunch each day and expresses an interest in your salads, seems enthusiastic.

Thursday: You walk into the kitchen at lunch and colleague is talking to someone else when you walk in but they both become silent when they see you and even though you don't know what they were talking about, you feel weird.

Friday: Someone you barely know stops you in the hallway to say they heard "all about" your salads and wanting to know what "crazy" combo you brought in that day.

Does any of this matter? No. Does it make you feel good? Also no. And that is how you learn to offer non-committal or vague responses to questions, because you don't feel like feeding a rumor mill so active and nasty that people sit around gossiping about what Kate in accounting packed for lunch on Thursday.

You do realize that you sound insane, I hope.

It's not insane. People don't like being talked about, even if the thing that is being gossiped about is boring and dumb.

OP is mad because someone she knows is evasive when OP asks her questions. She thinks it's strange. But I guess I'm sometimes evasive when people ask me questions and this is why. Because in the past I've found that people aren't actually trying to get to know me or even just to pass the time talking to me. They are just collecting info about people so they can gossip later. My guess is that OP is one such person because otherwise, why would she care if this person tells her what she's having for lunch? It truly does not matter? Why does OP need to know?

+1

Witness that in the OP:
OP has made a determination of whether the person has mental illnes.
OP thought it was just her, but has asked around, and learned the person does with others.
OP and several others are now interested in this matter, to varying degrees.

So OP has already made a big issue of nothing and involved several people.

Yes to all this. I'm the PP who explained how this would work in my old workplace and was told I sounded "insane" but this is exactly what I was picking up on in the OP. This is *exactly* the kind of thing that people would get obsessed about at my old job, and people would sit around for an hour trashing a colleague because they said something slightly unusual or worded something in a weird way. And yes, it would be stuff like "Who gets excited about salad, do you think she's anorexic?" So really innocuous stuff would become really nasty, negative gossip. And then sometimes people would learn that someone was actually diagnosed with depression or had been divorced, and then it would get even worse.

It was pathetic and exhausting -- those people were soooooo bored and made drama just for the sake of itself.

Op sounds just like them.

Anonymous wrote:Auditory processing disorder? Hard of hearing and in denial about it?

So many possibilities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree the issue is that OP and others in this circle are catty b's who like to ask seemingly innocuous questions of certain people and then twist it and gossip about it to trash them behind their back.

I worked in a place like this once and here's how you'd figure out what was going on and become *private* about seeming unimportant stuff:

Monday: You have a lighthearted conversation with a colleague about lunch, and tell them about how you're excited about the salad you brought that day because you've been on a big kick with trying out new combos and ingredients.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Colleague eagerly asks about your lunch each day and expresses an interest in your salads, seems enthusiastic.

Thursday: You walk into the kitchen at lunch and colleague is talking to someone else when you walk in but they both become silent when they see you and even though you don't know what they were talking about, you feel weird.

Friday: Someone you barely know stops you in the hallway to say they heard "all about" your salads and wanting to know what "crazy" combo you brought in that day.

Does any of this matter? No. Does it make you feel good? Also no. And that is how you learn to offer non-committal or vague responses to questions, because you don't feel like feeding a rumor mill so active and nasty that people sit around gossiping about what Kate in accounting packed for lunch on Thursday.

You do realize that you sound insane, I hope.

It's not insane. People don't like being talked about, even if the thing that is being gossiped about is boring and dumb.

OP is mad because someone she knows is evasive when OP asks her questions. She thinks it's strange. But I guess I'm sometimes evasive when people ask me questions and this is why. Because in the past I've found that people aren't actually trying to get to know me or even just to pass the time talking to me. They are just collecting info about people so they can gossip later. My guess is that OP is one such person because otherwise, why would she care if this person tells her what she's having for lunch? It truly does not matter? Why does OP need to know?

+1

Witness that in the OP:
OP has made a determination of whether the person has mental illnes.
OP thought it was just her, but has asked around, and learned the person does with others.
OP and several others are now interested in this matter, to varying degrees.

So OP has already made a big issue of nothing and involved several people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree the issue is that OP and others in this circle are catty b's who like to ask seemingly innocuous questions of certain people and then twist it and gossip about it to trash them behind their back.

I worked in a place like this once and here's how you'd figure out what was going on and become *private* about seeming unimportant stuff:

Monday: You have a lighthearted conversation with a colleague about lunch, and tell them about how you're excited about the salad you brought that day because you've been on a big kick with trying out new combos and ingredients.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Colleague eagerly asks about your lunch each day and expresses an interest in your salads, seems enthusiastic.

Thursday: You walk into the kitchen at lunch and colleague is talking to someone else when you walk in but they both become silent when they see you and even though you don't know what they were talking about, you feel weird.

Friday: Someone you barely know stops you in the hallway to say they heard "all about" your salads and wanting to know what "crazy" combo you brought in that day.

Does any of this matter? No. Does it make you feel good? Also no. And that is how you learn to offer non-committal or vague responses to questions, because you don't feel like feeding a rumor mill so active and nasty that people sit around gossiping about what Kate in accounting packed for lunch on Thursday.

You do realize that you sound insane, I hope.

It's not insane. People don't like being talked about, even if the thing that is being gossiped about is boring and dumb.

OP is mad because someone she knows is evasive when OP asks her questions. She thinks it's strange. But I guess I'm sometimes evasive when people ask me questions and this is why. Because in the past I've found that people aren't actually trying to get to know me or even just to pass the time talking to me. They are just collecting info about people so they can gossip later. My guess is that OP is one such person because otherwise, why would she care if this person tells her what she's having for lunch? It truly does not matter? Why does OP need to know?

+1

Witness that in the OP:
OP has made a determination of whether the person has mental illnes.
OP thought it was just her, but has asked around, and learned the person does with others.
OP and several others are now interested in this matter, to varying degrees.

So OP has already made a big issue of nothing and involved several people.

Anonymous wrote:I used to say "I don't know" a lot when I was a child. It can mean any of the following:
I don't want to have a conversation with you.
I'm feeling a strong feeling that is more important than your stupid question. Leave me alone.
I actually don't know.
This is personal and I don't want to reveal the answer to you.
I don't want you to know me.
You're embarrassing me.
I don't care about the topic enough to have an opinion.
I'm indecisive.
If I answer this question, you will ask me another question and I don't want you to.