Anonymous wrote:Actually had a friend tell her son “you can’t go out tonight because you have a quiz tomorrow “…the kid is 21 and in school in Ohio!

Jesus Christ.

Anonymous wrote:As a college professor I can assure everyone here that the majority of students don’t know there is a syllabus, let alone read it. So I’m not sure how parents are able to get their hands on it.

+1 Thanks for the humor, fellow professor!

But seriously, parents, you really do not need your kid's college syllabi. Even if your kid has EF issues, there are a ton of supports at colleges for students. There are learning centers, deans, counselors, etc. Part of the college experience is allowing your child to navigate for themselves how to find and use these supports. I realize that there are some parents who have signed up to be their child's EF "coach" even in college, but that to me says more about the parent's need to feel needed and relevant than about the kid's ability to handle this on their own. There are an increasing number of studies out there suggesting a link between over-parenting and children's lack of confidence (and subsequent anxiety and depression). This makes a lot of sense to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

+1

Totally agree. Thank you for being the voice of reason. Some parents may not realize how much damage they cause their child.

Chiming in to agree. One of ours has both Anxiety and ADHD and I get so tired of people using this as an excuse for either poor behavior or micromanaging. Our focus was on finding the combo of meds and/or therapies that allowed our kid to function as an independent person. The world doesn’t change for them. They have to figure out how to manage themselves and function in it.

+1
My kid was not officially diagnosed with ADHD until freshman year of college. The learning issues, lack of EF and anxiety had been extremely well managed in ES/MS/HS with tutoring and interventions (never had even a 504 because it's not worth the fight to get little to no accommodations). But college is a new level of challenges, especially for someone without much EF. Yet, I remained behind the scenes and mainly had discussions with my kid for what they needed to do to navigate issues. They had to actually do it all and they did it quite well. It was an adjustment, took 2 Ws freshman year to save their GPA and mental health and a major switch heading into sophomore year. But if I hadn't thought they could manage it, we wouldn't have allowed them to select a school 2.5K miles from home--they would have been at a local school or CC and living at home if that was needed.

I have never even seen the syllabi for any of my kids' high school classes.

Some of you need to cut the cord. The reason your kid can't grow up is because you are still wiping them after the bathroom at age 18+.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

I largely agree with you, PP, but I also acknowledge that increasing numbers of students with LD and mental illness are entering schools. Many could benefit from some additional support in time management. Moreover, if parents are paying, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to ask for this info. If you were making monthly car payments for your young adult child, you’d want to know that the scheduled maintenance was taking place.

Not everything has to be a "mental illiness", this is probably just case of your typical procrastinator/lazy kid. Parents know their own kids best. Don't assume this kid has a mental issue. Geez.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a college professor I can assure everyone here that the majority of students don’t know there is a syllabus, let alone read it. So I’m not sure how parents are able to get their hands on it.

parents who care likely access the syllabus the same way as students who care.

So they’re in the first class of the semester with their child, and receive a copy of the syllabus from the teacher?

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Anonymous wrote:My 22 year old goes to class and does whatever he needs to. If he couldn't do that I'm not sure we would pay for college.

How are these young adults going to function in the working world? That's a serious question. How will they manage at work if they can't manage in college?

That's like saying how can an 8th grader manage in college if he can't manage 8th grade. It's called time and maturity.

A 22-year-old is not a child.

If we aren’t there already, i’m sure we are close to the point where students could wear unobtrusive body cameras & allow their parents to watch their entire lives.

Anonymous wrote:As a college professor I can assure everyone here that the majority of students don’t know there is a syllabus, let alone read it. So I’m not sure how parents are able to get their hands on it.

parents who care likely access the syllabus the same way as students who care.

For those kids that have executive function disorder having a parent or coach having access to help them with time management makes sense.

Also makes sense for parents to see what if any brain washing is occurring on their dime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

+1

Totally agree. Thank you for being the voice of reason. Some parents may not realize how much damage they cause their child.

Chiming in to agree. One of ours has both Anxiety and ADHD and I get so tired of people using this as an excuse for either poor behavior or micromanaging. Our focus was on finding the combo of meds and/or therapies that allowed our kid to function as an independent person. The world doesn’t change for them. They have to figure out how to manage themselves and function in it.

+1

PP here. Well said. Parents (usually moms) need to back off. I get it, we want to feel useful - but there are much, much better ways to do so.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents! You do NOT need access or even possess your child’s class syllabus!! Please-they need to manage it!

Why do you care. I don't disagree with you but it doesn't harm me nor is it any of my business what other parents do.

Because if your kid "needs" their parents help to manage college at the level of syllabi then the kid should not be at college yet. They belong at a CC and living at home. Not at a 4 year college. If your kid's adhd/anxiety is not managed well enough that they can do this themselves without more than a reminder to organize their syllabi/read them and put the due dates into a calendar, then they are not ready to manage college.

Signed,
Parent of a kid with ADHD/Anxiety

+1

Totally agree. Thank you for being the voice of reason. Some parents may not realize how much damage they cause their child.

Chiming in to agree. One of ours has both Anxiety and ADHD and I get so tired of people using this as an excuse for either poor behavior or micromanaging. Our focus was on finding the combo of meds and/or therapies that allowed our kid to function as an independent person. The world doesn’t change for them. They have to figure out how to manage themselves and function in it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 22 year old goes to class and does whatever he needs to. If he couldn't do that I'm not sure we would pay for college.

How are these young adults going to function in the working world? That's a serious question. How will they manage at work if they can't manage in college?

That's like saying how can an 8th grader manage in college if he can't manage 8th grade. It's called time and maturity.

If your young adult isn't mature enough for college don't send them yet.

My young adult with autism and ADHD is doing just fine in college and guess what, I have his syllabus. The horror!!!! He is an EE major. I've been his EF coach since HS. He graduated with a 3.7 something unweighted. His college is free due to several stacked scholarships that have GPA requirements. I'm not about to let him lose them because I care if YOU think me having his syllabus is over parenting. After his freshman year in college he had a summer internships across the country and did so well he was asked back. My having his syllabus and acting as his EF coach (which I still do because we can't afford one) has not prevented him from success. If anything, it's helped. He was not only ready for college he is excelling at college. That he needs some scaffolding isn't a big deal. I'm also not sure why so many of you on here care. Worry about your own kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 22 year old goes to class and does whatever he needs to. If he couldn't do that I'm not sure we would pay for college.

How are these young adults going to function in the working world? That's a serious question. How will they manage at work if they can't manage in college?

That's like saying how can an 8th grader manage in college if he can't manage 8th grade. It's called time and maturity.

If your young adult isn't mature enough for college don't send them yet.

Anonymous wrote:As a college professor I can assure everyone here that the majority of students don’t know there is a syllabus, let alone read it. So I’m not sure how parents are able to get their hands on it.

+1