Anonymous wrote:Our kids go to public school and they are really young now. I have always seen parents whose kids go to private schools passionately talk about private schools and how public schools are bad, but I have never known the exact reasons from them. We can't afford private schools, but I wanted to know what exactly are we missing by not sending kids to private schools. Are the academics different? Are there more extra-curricular activities that public school kids are missing? Does the difference become more evident with middle and high school age?

NOTE: This is not for getting anyone to fight. I just need some genuine facts. Thank you!

The private school crowd perfers monochromatic hues

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No better outcome for college comes from private. FULL STOP

This is a myth fueled anecdotally, not by actual data. Sure, you “know” tons of public school kids who got into Harvard. But the percentage of public school kids is astronomically larger than private. Adjust for those numbers.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/en-in/news-and-trends/study-shows-public-school-students-do-better-than-private/354897#:~:text=Sheils%20responds%2C%20%22Our%20findings%20from,admissions%20process%20at%20top%20colleges.%22

First of all, “Entrepreneur India?” Please. Second, did you even read the article?
“Solomon Admissions used aggregate data to analyze the admit rates of 160 similar students who attended public and private high schools from across twenty-two states and who worked with the college admissions consulting company in 2018 and 2019.”

They only looked at the students who hired them. This is not a study and doesn’t prove a thing.

I think private schools parents are fanatical about private schools because of the sunk cost fallacy. If you are spending thousands on tuition you need to justify why it's superior. I remember during covid there were posters from private school who'd come to public school forums just to brag about how their private school was better. Very tacky nouveau riche behavior

Agree that you simply can’t broadly compare private v. public schools. And no comment re the people who think all private is necessarily better simply because they can pay for it.

But one broad observation, in my experience with both:

— there are some great public schools and great teachers at public schools. If your local school works for you, you’re in luck.

— if public doesn’t work for whatever reason, whether it’s because they’re not meeting the needs of an intellectually curious and gifted kid, and/or a kid needs special learning supports/has special needs, or a kid is just getting lost in a big classroom, then in general, you will find what you need if you can go the private school route. There’s an incredibly broad spectrum of private schools in this area; most will provide smaller classes and more focused attention. Some provide more rigor and enrichment, some provide more supports. Some cater to families with kids with special needs and “behaviors.” It’s all generally self selecting and you have to figure out the right fit for your kid.

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks. So how do private schools handle students with special needs? Do they have separate classes and separate special-ed teachers?

What kinds of extra curriculars? As in more math clubs and things like?

It depends on the school and what the special need is. Private schools with a more rigorous academic expectations are just not going to admit kids that aren’t able to keep up. Likewise, they are unlikely to admit kids with severe behavioral problems. If your child has an IEP and the school can’t/doesn’t want to make those specific accommodations, they will just tell you it isn’t a good fit. Sometimes parents provide their own 1:1 aide but again it depends on what the issues are.

Some private schools do have specific programs for learning disabilities though

Yep. My kids started attending a private prep school in middle school. No children with significant behavior issues or learning needs are admitted there and the classes are very rigorous.

But I purposely made my kids to go to public school for the elementary years so that they could develop empathy and understanding of people with special needs. You can really only do that by being in a classroom with kids with learning disabilities, autism, intellectual disabilities, etc.

Oh what do you know. We have a modern day mother Teresa here

Yeah, this is cringe.

I will just say that my second grader’s private school class had more disruptive kids than his third or fourth grade classes in public school. If the disruptive kids have siblings who also attend the school, they’re not kicking the trouble kids out. Can’t risk losing all that tuition money! And forget it if the kids’ parents donate to the school…

Yes, so cringe. My SN kid is a real live awesome person. He doesn't exist to teach your children human decency before they go on to achieve wonderful things at private school. Blech.

Anonymous wrote:Our kids go to public school and they are really young now. I have always seen parents whose kids go to private schools passionately talk about private schools and how public schools are bad, but I have never known the exact reasons from them. We can't afford private schools, but I wanted to know what exactly are we missing by not sending kids to private schools. Are the academics different? Are there more extra-curricular activities that public school kids are missing? Does the difference become more evident with middle and high school age?

NOTE: This is not for getting anyone to fight. I just need some genuine facts. Thank you!

It's difficult to give a general answer to questions like these. There are some very excellent public schools, and some rather mediocre private schools. There are also many of both in the middle. I do not necessarily think you are missing out by not sending your kids to private school. We have been sending our child to private school, but it was a close call on whether to do that. In the end, we chose that route after we got poor lottery numbers and after COVID-19 shutdowns threw a wrench in usual machinery of the school system. We like our private school. Our child is happy there. But, sometimes, I still think about going to public. That may be a result of the fact that I attended public schools all the way through, and based on that experience, I view them positively. Also, we know a lot of public school kids in the neighborhood. We think they are great kids, too.

OP, you (and spouse) as parent, have FAR more influence on your child’s education than any school ever would.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No better outcome for college comes from private. FULL STOP

This is a myth fueled anecdotally, not by actual data. Sure, you “know” tons of public school kids who got into Harvard. But the percentage of public school kids is astronomically larger than private. Adjust for those numbers.

Still, there are more mediocre private schools than good ones. The mediocre private kids are going to JMU and CNU with the mediocre public kids.

Agree most privates are mediocre, but they are still overall better than medicocre-good publics. The only publics that trump mediocre privates are the ones with majority very high level learners with parents that actively push them to academic success, but those are the minority of public schools.

Its really hard to know this because when you look at college placement data, it doesn't support what you are saying.

I’m sure it depends, but what I have seen/heard from private school families: smaller class sizes, more personal attention, fewer behavioral issues in the classroom, more space in sports and extracurriculars- especially in MS and HS, sometimes better “extras”- lunches, facilities etc. I think a lot of the benefits are simply being a smaller school, as opposed to publics which are larger.

We can’t afford private school but would have at least considered it if we had the $$. That said, we are overall happy with our public schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No better outcome for college comes from private. FULL STOP

This is a myth fueled anecdotally, not by actual data. Sure, you “know” tons of public school kids who got into Harvard. But the percentage of public school kids is astronomically larger than private. Adjust for those numbers.

Still, there are more mediocre private schools than good ones. The mediocre private kids are going to JMU and CNU with the mediocre public kids.

Agree most privates are mediocre, but they are still overall better than medicocre-good publics. The only publics that trump mediocre privates are the ones with majority very high level learners with parents that actively push them to academic success, but those are the minority of public schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No better outcome for college comes from private. FULL STOP

This is a myth fueled anecdotally, not by actual data. Sure, you “know” tons of public school kids who got into Harvard. But the percentage of public school kids is astronomically larger than private. Adjust for those numbers.

Still, there are more mediocre private schools than good ones. The mediocre private kids are going to JMU and CNU with the mediocre public kids.

This is OP. Thank you everyone! Great discussion and nice takeaways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No better outcome for college comes from private. FULL STOP

This is a myth fueled anecdotally, not by actual data. Sure, you “know” tons of public school kids who got into Harvard. But the percentage of public school kids is astronomically larger than private. Adjust for those numbers.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/en-in/news-and-trends/study-shows-public-school-students-do-better-than-private/354897#:~:text=Sheils%20responds%2C%20%22Our%20findings%20from,admissions%20process%20at%20top%20colleges.%22

Again, this is going to really depend on the specific districts you are comparing. There’s no point in looking at national or even multi state averages. What matters is the specific options a parent has in their school district and how the privates/publics accessible to that family compare in terms of college admissions. Unfortunately there are some areas where public schools are seriously underperforming.